It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Trick Or Treat Mom” whose baby daddy wanted to throw a Halloween party for his 8-year-old daughter on the pregnant LW’s due date. “We have known the due date for over six months! I am offended not because he’s deciding to throw a party so close to my son being born, but because he is refusing to change the date and is taking away from my son’s special day.” Did the LW get her way? Was the Halloween party moved? Update below:
Unfortunately, I ended up being hospitalized on the 15th. Unlike the baby daddy, I worked 60 to 75 hours a week. Baby daddy decided he didn’t need to work. Therefore, it was my total responsibility to provide everything for the baby. I did reduce my hours to 55 a few weeks before my due date. Since I was working so much and lifting semi-heavy things, I tore my sac and I started leaking amniotic fluid. I was hospitalized and forced to go into labor two weeks before my due date. After 36 hours of labor, I had to have a C-section. Baby daddy went on and had his Halloween party for his daughter. My son and I did not attend.
Baby daddy and I are no longer together (nor attempting to get back together). I have chosen to have very little involvement with his family due to his grandfather attempting to hit my then 3-month-old son to make him stop crying. And the rest of the family is siding with the grandfather regarding his tactic. His family has completely demonstrated that my son is of very little importance to them. At first I was a bit offended and hurt since I know the reason why my son means so little is because he is mixed race. My baby daddy’s first kid is 100% white and, therefore, she is the only one who really matters.
I should have seen this coming since his family and friends gave my son nothing before he was born. Oh, and the comments his grandfather would make throughout my pregnancy, shaming me for not having an abortion, were another indication. That’s just a gist of the emotional hell I endured during my pregnancy.
Baby is now 7 months old, and for now I am letting baby daddy watch him while I’m at work. All of my family is either out of state or abroad; therefore, I don’t really have another choice. I’m currently trying to find ways to be a more appealing candidate for the business world. Being a new single mother doesn’t quite scream “hire me as your accountant.”
Thanks again for letting me vent!
Thanks for the update. I’m glad you and your baby are safe and healthy, and I wish you luck in finding a job you are happy with.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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