Updates: “Baby on Board” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Baby on Board” who took a internship 2500 miles from home, started dating a guy she really liked, and got pregnant two months later. She said she wanted to keep the baby and wondered if she should tell the guy or keep it a secret from him since she was returning home and he would never have to find out. Keep reading to see what she decided.

It’s been several months since I wrote you, so I suspect now is a good time to provide an update on my letter. First off, thank you and the community for their advice. Of course, I should have told Jake; I think my panic was clouding what was clearly the most obvious and sane decision. I had taken three pregnancy tests and received the same positive answer, so the next step was to tell him, which I did, and head to the OB/GYN. He took the news in stride — he was a bit freaked out, to be expected, but very supportive. We made an appointment to go together and confirm what we thought was pretty much a sure thing.

Turns out, I wasn’t pregnant after all. My test was picking up a hormone level change that was indicative of tumors in my uterus. I didn’t even know that was possible, but I’m glad it is because I was able to get medical attention and everything turned out okay.

Jake was a great friend through everything, especially when I needed some help after the removal procedure. We still converse fairly regularly although I am now living back in the Midwest and he is out west. We never really had time to talk about what we would have done had I actually been pregnant, but I suspect he would have moved to wherever I got a job so we could co-parent. I am not sure if we would have stayed together, since we were never really a full-blown couple, but I do know that he is an amazing friend and my kid would have been so blessed to have him as a dad. As I said, you were all totally spot on – he needed to know – and I was being an idiot in that moment for thinking that I was shielding him from some terrible thing when a baby is so far from that.

Thanks for the advice! Getting a smack of reality from the readers helped me tell him sooner than I probably would have had I been fighting with myself in my head, which meant I found out about my tumors sooner and avoided even more painful procedures. I’ll call that a win! 🙂

Thanks for the update, and I’m so relieved you are doing well!!


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.


  1. kerrycontrary says:

    Wow! I did not even know that was possible. Glad everything worked out and you’re good as new.

  2. That letter was a fun trip down memory lane.
    LW, I’m glad that everything turned out ok for you!

  3. Wow, crazy! I’m glad everthing worked out!

  4. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

    I’m glad everything worked out!! Hope your health is on the mend!

  5. Wellll, this was the best outcome, probably!

    1. Having tumors instead of a baby she wanted is the best outcome? I disagree.

  6. anonymous for now says:

    OMG I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive and we are so excited only now I’m really worried it’s not a baby but tumors in my uterus.

    Not to make it all about me, or anything. LW, I’m glad you’re healthy and happy with how everything turned out.

    1. Well now I want to know who’s pregnant, since you’re only anonymous for now 😛

    2. lets_be_honest says:

      If you tell me who you are, I will give you a $1.

      1. lets_be_honest says:

        Ok, how does $2 dollars sound? A little more enticing? I thought so!

      2. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        I’ll double it. That’s $4!

    3. hahaha so tricky, who is this??

    4. I wanna know, too! (and I’m jealous that you’re knocked up!!)

      1. Avatar photo Addie Pray says:

        it’s bethany and she’s trying to throw us off by commenting – aha!

    5. anonymous for now says:

      I will tell you in February! Hopefully. I made an appointment for the 8 week mark with my OB this morning, and that’s not till January 6. I am useless at work today because it’s all I can think about. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

      1. lets_be_honest says:

        WHOOOOOO. I can’t handle this!!

      2. lets_be_honest says:

        I think I know too now. It would be rude to facebook her and ask, right?

      3. MrMid? Do you have something you need to tell us?

    6. Lily in NYC says:

      Anon, let yourself be happy! Don’t forget, OP was on the pill and was using condoms when she got her false positive. Chances are you are really pregnant, especially if you’ve been trying. Congrats, I hope!!

    7. Well, it’s not me, in case that was someone’s guess. Wish it was!! Congrats to you!

  7. TheOtherOtherMe says:

    Aaaaaaannd…. the moral of the story is, don’t ASSUME you are pregnant until this has been officially verified by a doctor.

    1. lets_be_honest says:

      I would totally assume I was pregnant if I had 3 positive tests.

    2. I’ve always heard that you can’t have a false positive test and assumed that to be true…?

      1. lets_be_honest says:

        I took my tests in the middle of the night and the next morning, I had come up with a million reasons why it was definitely, for sure, a false positive. Some were pretty funny now that I think about it.

      2. You can get false positives caused by medical reasons, user error, or manufacturer error. Two of my friends took separate pregnancy tests from the same box (one girl was late, the other wasn’t sexually active but did it for moral support). Both came back positive. They decided to try a different brand and fortunately neither one was pregnant.

      3. lets_be_honest says:

        Baby Jesus?

      4. lets_be_honest says:

        Hello people! That was hysterical! Laugh!

      5. Avatar photo iwannatalktosampson says:

        I laughed. If that helps.

      6. lets_be_honest says:

        It does, thank you.

      7. No, they can be false. I read a case where a guy took one, and it turned out positive, and he posted it on his blog as a joke. Some readers told him to go to the doctor, because a positive test, like the original poster, could mean he had cancer. He went to the doctor, and it turned out that he did have cancer.

      8. lets_be_honest says:

        jeez, I didn’t know this was a thing!

      9. Yep, if it’s a man it’s indicative of certain types of testicular cancer. However, if you get a negative result it doesn’t mean you’re cancer-free. Just that you wouldn’t have that particular type of cancer that results in a positive test.

      10. Holy shit.
        I have never, ever heard of the cancer/false positive thing before. That should get a little more press!

      11. Ele4phant says:

        Well, how they work is by testing for an increased amount of hormones on your urine, right? So her tests weren’t “wrong” they were measuring higher levels of hormones, but unfortunately the spike was not because of a pregnancy.

      12. Avatar photo shanshantastic says:

        Pregnancy tests measure the level of Hcg in your system. Elevated and continually rising levels USUALLY indicate an early pregnancy, but as in the LW’s case they can also suggest a reproductive issue. The test accurately indicates if the hormone is present, the hormone itself just doesn’t always mean baby. That’s why having it verified by an OB is necessary.

      13. I think it’s really uncommon to have a false negative but false positive happens all the time for the at-home pregnancy test. That’s why you want a blood test to be done, because the false positive for the blood test are incredibly low.

      14. I didn’t even get a blood test, at 8 weeks my doctor gave me a vaginal ultrasound to confirm (to think that politicians were trying to mandate that is crazy BTW). It was a little creepy because you could still see the yolk sac (not twins!) but you also could see the heartbeat which was amazing.

    3. How would a doctor verify it other than just giving you another pregnancy test? I’m wondering if she found out about her tumours when she went for an ultrasound?

      1. lets_be_honest says:

        blood test

      2. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

        A blood test and/or ultra sound?

      3. Blood test just confirms the presence of the hormone though, right? Wouldn’t you need an ultrasound to see that there’s actually no baby in there, but tumours instead?

      4. it’s possible that the tests at the doctor’s also showed up as positive due to the increased hormone levels and so they went ahead and did the ultrasound. when do they do the first ultrasound 8 weeks or the minute there is a positive test result?

        they could have also done a pelvic exam on her and realized something felt weird and not baby-ish and done an ultrasound as well maybe.

      5. These days, you get a dating ultrasound right off, even at around 5 weeks or so. That just standard procedure these days. Among other things, it lets them get a much more exact due date than you can obtain by last menstrual period, which could be very unreliable for those with weird cycles. Also, you can actually see the heartbeat on ultrasound before you can hear it, which is nice (as well as medically significant–once you have a beating heart, the odds of a successful pregnancy substantially increase).

        I’ve had pregnancies from 2001 to 20012 (not non-stop!) and they do a lot more ultrasounds today than they did 12 years ago.

    4. so before surgery they do a pregnancy test. apparently there is a control and then your test. well the control was positive, mine was negative. but, all i heard when she asked for results (she must have been asking for the control results!) was positive and my blood pressure spiked up, haha. ahhh thankfully there was no unexpected baby. not that i thought there was but i feel like no matter what i will always worry that i might be pregnant.

    5. Or until a baby pops out.

    6. YES YES YES on waiting till you get to the doctor!!! I know that technology has advanced with those little sticks, but it amazes me the people who go so far down a particular path and make decisions without actually going to the doctor first. (NOT ANON… and I have no clue who you are but wish you all the best… waiting till the 8week mark is a wee bit of torture given that those sticks can tell you at like 5 days… at least that’s how I felt)

  8. TheOtherOtherMe says:

    From experience, I have learned that those tests are not 100% accurate. In fact I recently took two tests that said I was NOT pregnant, and then I had a miscarriage (verified by my ob/gyn), so go figure…

  9. Is this a “molar pregnancy”? My friend had a molar pregnancy once and I’ve never quite understood it. Maybe I’ll learn next semester when I get to take an OB class! I’m sooo excited for OB it’s ridiculous.

  10. Avatar photo fast eddie says:

    I love happy endings and now we’ll want to hear if you two actually get together and stay that way. He sounds like a keeper to me.

  11. I can’t actually reply to anyone… am I having personal IT failure or is something up??

    1. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

      I think something is up.

  12. Footsytoesies says:

    Wonder if the “tumors” the LW was referring to were from a molar pregnancy.

    Btw, I’m prego 🙂

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