Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Baffled Bridesmaid” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Baffled Bridesmaid” whose best friend discovered she was pregnant shortly after getting engaged (and paying a deposit for her wedding venue) and was going full steam ahead on holding the wedding just a few short weeks after giving birth. “She even thinks her dress (which was ordered two sizes too small to begin with since she was planning on losing weight) will fit her fine, and that everything will go as previously planned.” said Baffled Bridesmaid. After the jump, find out whether she — or anyone else — was able to talk some sense into her pregnant friend.

Thanks for the great advice! Your response was bang on and I thought you addressed everything perfectly. Luckily, things have changed a lot since I emailed you and although everything isn’t totally resolved, the situation is a lot less stressful. My friend’s fiancé ended up talking to her a few days ago and he finally got her to see how it just isn’t a good idea to keep the wedding date so soon after the due date. They called their venue that day and changed the date to June 2012, so the baby will be a good 7 months old and things will be much more manageable for her. She’s still struggling with having to give up her wedding date and is really disappointed she couldn’t prove to everyone that she could handle it. She knows it’s the right decision, though. I think she just needs some time to get over the fact that things don’t always go as you expect them to. She’s pretty stubborn so this is a big step for her to change so many things she carefully planned. Everyone in her life is very relieved and I know she will enjoy her wedding SO much more now. There are still a ton of issues with the whole situation but I think the biggest problem has been dealt with, so now I’m just going to do my best to help her through the next year! I totally agree with your suggestion for creating boundaries and I absolutely do not want to take on all the stress she is under. So with your advice in mind, hopefully I can manage to be a good friend but not a complete basket case! Thanks again. — Baffled Bridesmaid

Phew, glad to hear she changed her date without too much coercing. Good luck helping your friend over the next year or so. Take plenty of time for yourself!!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

6 comments… add one
  • Heather March 18, 2011, 12:18 pm

    Glad to hear it worked out well, and that it actually came from the fiancée. I think that was the way to go.

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  • WatersEdge March 18, 2011, 1:11 pm

    Great news!

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  • Heather March 18, 2011, 3:40 pm

    I hope Marathon Girlfriend responds. I can’t imagine she took kindly to us haranging her…lol.

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  • baby.blanka March 18, 2011, 2:43 pm

    So happy she responded – I was wondering about this situation for a while after I read it! Good luck to all of them!

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  • lauren March 19, 2011, 1:57 am

    I do believe this is the most pleasant “update” you’ve ever posted. No whining about the comments, no going “yeah but WAIT” and explaining herself…way to go baffled! Glad it all worked out for your friend! It sounds like its going to be a joyous next 12 months – she should enjoy every second of it!

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  • Kare March 19, 2011, 4:50 pm

    Random, but I wonder if the friend’s original wedding date was 11-11-11. Apparently a lot of people are competing for that particular date.

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