It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “To Bris or Not to Bris” who were asked by their son’s in-laws to split the expense of their new grand baby’s bris. They were dumbfounded. “Now the parents, ex-parents, new spouses, and whoever have moved forward and sent out invitations that listed them as the hosts of the event and no mention of my wife and me. Further, they did not send out an invitation to us. I can only assume it is because we did not indicate that we would pick up the cost. So we can only assume we were not invited.” Keep reading to see whether LW and his wife went to the bris:
The event was lovely; however, it was quite obvious that for some reason we were outsiders. Our son and DIL didn’t introduce us or include us in the conversations. Fortunately, my wife of 48 years and I now know how to hold on to each other no matter what. We got through it with smiles but didn’t stay long. So all in all, I guess it’s just another event in one’s life.
Now, on another matter, that you will have a hard time believing, our DIL went through a psychotic episode and had to be hospitalized (no history to predict this). And, who do you think got called? My wife, of course. Our son — a 40-year-old man with a newborn infant and no family but us — was in a state of panic. So my wife packed a bag in minutes and has stayed there for several weeks now. The baby is doing fine, and I have a very tired wife to take care of, both of whom are fine with me. Interestingly, the DIL’s parents are nowhere to be seen.
The hospital was about to start aggressive treatments on our DIL and fortunately we got a referral and got her out of there with a very experienced psychiatrist in these matters. She is doing much better with a good prognosis and is home now, but both baby and new mom need care, and we have dropped everything and jumped in.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and time to correspond. Someone to talk to was comforting.
How fortunate that your son and his family have you and your wife looking out for them! I hope this recent situation brings you all closer. Your DIL’s parents sound difficult, and perhaps that lends you some perspective when you consider past behavior toward you and helps you extend compassion to her. I wish all of you the best!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.