Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Due Date Conflict” Responds

updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Due Date Conflict” who was unhappy that her husband wanted to go to a destination bachelor party two weeks before she was due with their first baby. “I don’t want to be alone knowing the baby could come at any moment, but I also don’t want to take this opportunity away from my husband. But the fact that he wants to go on this trip really hurts.” Update below!

After I spoke with my husband, he realized the amount of stress that this situation was causing me and told his friends that he was not going to attend the bachelor party. I honestly believe that his friends, none of whom have children, all going on this trip had put a lot of pressure on him and that it is hard to go against that. But he knew how much I needed his support as the days counted down. The bachelor party weekend came and went, and the baby had not yet arrived. I felt really bad that he missed the trip, but he never brought it up. Instead, our beautiful baby boy arrived a week later (a week before our due date) and my husband has been the most incredible support I could ask for. Of course, we have our moments when the sleep deprivation gets the best of us, but, overall, we have been doing great! He changes all of the diapers and takes the baby at night whenever the baby cries (when it does not involve breastfeeding).

Congrats on the baby! Sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive husband. And don’t feel bad about his missing the bachelor party. I’m sure he would have worried being away from you, and there’s no guarantee that the anxiety you would have felt being alone two weeks before your due date wouldn’t have brought on an even earlier labor. Enjoy this sweet time with your family!


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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5 comments… add one
  • avatar

    dinoceros May 10, 2016, 4:46 pm

    Glad it worked out, and congratulations! No need to feel bad that he missed the trip. It’s like feeling guilty that you spent money on health insurance even though you didn’t go to the doctor. Some things have to be done “just in case.”

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  • Monkeysmommy

    Monkeysmommy May 10, 2016, 7:03 pm

    Your husband made the right call! And it sounds like he didn’t give you any shit about it, and is being a great husband and father. All is well that ends well.

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  • Portia

    Portia May 10, 2016, 8:55 pm

    Aww, this is a great update! It sounds like you have a great, supportive husband. Congrats on your little one!

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  • avatar

    Adrienne May 11, 2016, 7:34 am

    Congratulations! My husband has a group of friends where we are the first to have a child (friends are 28~34ish). I think my husband feels the peer pressure sometimes too because they don’t understand why he isn’t it all night on the weekends or why he can’t just pop out and watch the game with them (because his wife has a life, and isn’t a 24/7 babysitter). It’s awesome that your husband’s had already started out by supporting you when you ask for it!

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  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark May 12, 2016, 11:41 am

    Thank God He cancelled that trip! 😉

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