It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Eaten Away” whose non-boyfriend of three months went away to Portugal for a month to write his book and film some things for his YouTube career, and she was worried that, since they never defined their relationship, he wouldn’t hesitate to pursue other women who might show interest in him. She wrote: “I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering what he’s doing and whom he’s with. It’s eating at me constantly because I know that since I’m not his “girlfriend,” I can’t even be mad if he sleeps with other girls. What should I do?”
When he returned from Portugal, he wanted to start seeing me again. We went on a few dates, but something wasn’t the same. I found out on his Facebook, NOT through him, that he was going away for another two months. One month after he got back. I called him in sadness and shock. He had told me that when he came back from Portugal, he was going to settle down with me. But, he always knew the best things to say to keep me wrapped around his finger.
I told him I couldn’t wait around for him anymore. I told him that I had waited like a puppy dog for him, and it broke me. Also, I should mention that I was 19 and he was 25.
We broke up, I sent him the most heart-breaking, loving letter goodbye, and I didn’t see him again.
A month later, just before he went on his travels, he contacted me saying he wanted to start seeing me and having sex with me again. Thankfully, I said no. Even though I miss him, I am so much happier without him.
Well, good for you for ending things with him, but in the future don’t wait around like a “puppy dog” for anyone – especially someone who can’t even be bothered to check in with you once a week.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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