Updates

Updates: “Having Doubts” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear a quick update from “Having Doubts” who was dating a man fifteen years her senior whose 17-year-old daughter had recently moved in with him, decreasing the amount of time and attention he could give the LW. She wrote, “I’ve been thinking I should wait another month to see what happens, but I’m having doubts. Do you think it’s worth hanging on to see what happens and, if so, what should I do to try to save the relationship?” Keep reading to see if she gave it another month and what happened.

I wanted to send you an update. I ended up taking your advice and ending the relationship with my boyfriend. I have since met someone new and I’m happier than I’ve ever been in a relationship.My new boyfriend is 36 years old, so there’s only a three-year age difference. We have a lot of fun going out and spending time together.

Great! See? Moving on when it’s time is a good thing and can open yourself to wonderful opportunities you might have missed wasting time where you had no future.

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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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10 Comments

Lyra says:

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This letter was definitely a record for “MOA” in Wendy’s advice! Glad the letter writer followed it!

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Sami says:

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long time lurker here but I HAVE to comment…. it’s been a week since you wrote in and already in a new relationship that you’re “happier than you’ve ever been”

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1. Unwanted_Truth says:
  
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  ^^^ This. Exactly what I was thinking. Can we say back-burner guy?
  
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2. jlyfsh says:
  
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  While still quick it looks like it’s been two months…
  
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  1. Sami says:
    
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    you’re right, I see it was March instead of May now… perhaps I just read it last week… I’m glad she’s happy and understand being excited, but even 2 months (if they’ve been dating since right after she wrote in and ditched the first guy) seems short to me, whether she was emotionally exiting the relationship already or not.
3. _s_ says:
  
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  Yeah, Wendy posted the original letter in March, not May.
  
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  1. ktfran says:
    
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    And also, doesn’t Wendy sometimes send a response to the LW before she publishes the letter? That could have been the case here. Or not.
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    Also, I think if you’re already thinking about an exit plan, emotionally, you could easily be ready for a new relationship.
  2. jlyfsh says:
    
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    I agree, especially since the relationship she was in was pretty short. If you’re unhappy after only 4 months you’re probably more open to dating someone new anyway!
  3. gigi says:
    
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    Also, I think its OK to be happy & excited about a new relationship!
4. Anna says:
  
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  Well, they’ve also been dating for only 4 months, so 2 months is half the time they’ve been dating. Doesn’t seem unreasonable. Isn’t there a saying that to be fully over someone it takes roughly 1/2 the time you guys dated?
  
  It’s not like she dated him for 2 years and decided 2 months was enough. Good for her for MOA. Not a lot of people take Wendy’s advice to do so.
  
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