Updates: “Incredulous in Oregon” Responds (Again)

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Incredulous in Oregon” who was thinking of buying a house and wondered why her boyfriend was so resistant to the idea of moving in with her as her tenant. She updated once before, and now has a new update.

Here’s a happy second update for you: We just celebrated our first wedding anniversary and are utterly and ridiculously in love. It’s hilarious for me to go back and read my first letter; I sound like a really annoying girlfriend. I was getting ahead of myself and trying to take control of the situation when I needed to just let it happen. Of course, it’s hard to see that when you’re in the middle of it, but it’s amazing how your perspective changes with time. I now understand the LWs that I think are insane when they write in about issues that seem to have such an obvious interpretation, but they’re really just trying to make sense of the situation they’re deep in the middle of. So many have “can’t see the forest for the trees” kind of problems, and so did I. Getting the perspectives of the guys and all the great commenters was really helpful to get me past that.

It turns out that when I was freaking out about the house, he was shopping for my engagement ring. He’s just really good at giving no hints about surprises. I ended up holding off on buying a house completely, and we moved in to his place so we could live cheaply and sock away money for a down payment. We’re currently house shopping and hoping to move soon into our own place (and out of the house with three messy roommates!).

I’m also happy to report that we’re still having goofy disagreements about names for non-existent babies. It’s really just fun to come up with them. (I’m holding out for a Cillian while he’s trying to convince me that Chewbacca is a valid middle name. Heaven forbid we have a girl; she’ll end up with Wonder Woman or something equally ridiculous for a name). Thanks for the perspective, everyone!

Thanks for the great update and happy anniversary! Here’s to many more together, and at least one non-hypothetical baby whose name you can argue over.


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.


  1. Avatar photo gatecrashergirl says:

    What a cute, happy update. So glad to hear that LW found happiness and clarity!

  2. applescruffs says:

    Aww, this makes me happy!

  3. YAY!
    I love updates.

  4. Chewbacca would only be a valid middle name if you choose a fitting first name.

  5. See LWs… all you have to do is take the quality advice given on DW and you too could be living a happy and healthy existence… well maybe that’s not all but I’m being positive after this one!

    While I’m a huge fan of Wonder Woman (had the underoos and all) I would like to advocate for JEM. Middle or First name… takes care of the superhero aspect while still seeming like it could fit in today’s crazy names 😉

    1. My dad apparently wanted to name me Jasper had I been a boy. Sure, I would have had to survive 20-some years of teasing, but when the Twilight craze hit, I woulda had MAD CHICKS.

  6. temperance says:

    If I ever have a kid, his middle name will be Tiberius. Obviously this only applies if he is a boy, because Tiberius is so not a girl’s name.

    Your child at least has one advocate saying that it’s a bad idea to give a kid a name like Chewbacca, lol.

    1. I love hypothetical baby names. Although one of our name options for the hopefully soon-to-be-conceived baby is Temperance 😛

      1. Temperance says:

        YAY! Best of luck TTC!

        I’ve been trying to convince my husband that if we had a girl, her name should be Temperance. I think I’m winning that fight, lol.

      2. It is at the top of our list as either a first or middle name. It’d be after the Kathy Reichs character and my husband claims I’m just like her so it would be fitting.

    2. Avatar photo meadowphoenix says:

      What about Tiberia?

  7. GertietheDino says:

    I would totally name my kid (if I had any) after Star Wars! I already tried convincing an equally nerdy friend to name his son Luke.

    1. I know somebody who gave their kid the middle name Kenobi.

      1. I fully support insane middle names. It’ll be a good story at a party and give the people at the DMV a reason to laugh.

      2. lets_be_honest says:

        Oh, oh, I’m so glad I have someone to tell this to!
        Perfect names for twins of potheads…Bernadette and Mary Jane. Burn mary jane!!! Hahaha. I crack myself up.

      3. lets_be_honest says:

        Two likes people? Really?

  8. I dunno, I think the world needs more Star Trek based names. If I have a daughter, I hope I could rock the Seven of Nine.

  9. Lily in NYC says:

    Ha, I want to hang out with this couple. They sound like fun.

  10. Leslie B. says:

    Great update! Congrats!

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