It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Incredulous in Oregon” who was featured in a “His Take” column when she said she was thinking of buying a house and wondered why her boyfriend was so resistant to the idea of moving in with her as her tenant. After the jump, find out whether she bought a house and if her boyfriend’s still in the picture.
I had really wanted him to be a part of the house-shopping so I got a place that he liked, too. I also didn’t want to forge ahead and buy a house he wouldn’t want to ever live in if we put off moving in together. I told him that, hypothetically, he could be living there so he should have a part in the decision. If it was a choice between home-ownership and him, I’d always pick him. After so much hesitance from him and lots of good advice from the guys, I decided to slow down the “future train” in my head. I did, however, do what Wendy often suggests and was clear about what I want. I told him that I loved him and wanted to be with him for a very long time and live with him, and that I needed to know what he wanted so I could make plans appropriately, which could mean putting off the house purchase. And that’s exactly what I did. He said he would think about living together and I told him I’d give him time to do that. Then, last week he proposed! So, no more worries about how serious he is about our relationship, but I’m still glad that the guys and the commenters helped me see that I needed to just calm down about the whole thing. Outside perspectives were definitely helpful.
Aw, congrats! I guess that means he’ll be moving in with you now?
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected]arwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.