It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Jilted” whose live-in boyfriend called off their June wedding and immediately found a new girlfriend. Jilted wrote: “We still live together and he was with her this past weekend. But when I returned home from a cottage Sunday evening, we ended up fooling around, so he cheated on her I assume. It was just plain physical, even for me. I think he’s disgusting because he didn’t even fight for me and ended our engagement to find something new and shiny while he kept telling me that, while he isn’t ready to handle another girl, he is missing something with me and trying to figure it out and you never know about the future. Now I wonder if she even knows he’s still living with me.” Keep reading to see what’s happened since then.
It has been six months since my my ex-fiance canceled our wedding, and things are definitely getting better day by day. I was seeing someone for a couple of months but we have decided to take things slow. He is an amazing person and helped me through one of the hardest times of my life and you never know what can happen in the future, but for now we are at different places in our lives.
As for my ex, well, he is still dating the girl he was interested in when we split up and we still keep in contact, which is hard but I am a forgiving person. He doesn’t seem to be too happy and I believe he wants both of us. He has wanted to stay in my life since we separated and we have not discussed getting back together or anything because I could never go back and never trust him again. We do have better communication now than when we were together but he uses me just to feel less lonely, I think.
Anyway, I have seen the clear light at the end of the tunnel and am much happier that we didn’t end up getting married and that there are men out there worth chasing who will put the effort into me. Every day gets easier, though I am still angry sometimes, but I want the best for myself and my ex and hope we can both find happiness (I just know it’s not with each other). It can be confusing though because my ex talks very poorly of his new girlfriend to me, and I see the lack of respect for he has for her and feel like I had that a lot in my life when we were together, too. Also, it’s not my problem anymore and I learned that I want to be with someone who will fight for me because I deserve so much better. All I can do now and have been doing is moving on, trying to find the right guy for me and hoping for the best for my present and future. Thanks for all of your advice and take care!
Thanks for your update. I wish you all the best moving forward and gently suggest you cut all ties with your ex until the anger and confusion you still (understandably!) feel subsides completely.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.