Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Married to Someone Else’s Baby Daddy” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Married to Someone Else’s Baby Daddy” whose husband cheated on her shortly before they were married and got a woman pregnant. She married him anyway, thinking she could handle the situation, but her feelings changed as the due date approached and the situation intensified. (The other woman slashed the husband’s tires after he told her he was engaged to be married, and then said the baby wasn’t even his before changing her mind again and saying it was).

The LW wrote: “I don’t want that baby in my life. I told my husband that, if that is his child, I want a divorce, and he told me that he would give up his rights to see the baby if it would make me stay.” Keep reading to see what has happened since the baby’s birth.

It turns out that my husband cheated through our entire engagement. I found out by the mother of the child that he was practically living with her while I was in basic training, and everything he told me was a lie. I decided to stay with him (silly me) but later on he told he wanted to “make a family with her.” He was very cold and, from then on, all I have gotten are threats and harassment from him and his family.

I now realize what a low-life he is. He had his daughter last month while he was in another country. I left our house before he got back. Now that he is back he has been staying with her, of course. He is starting to file for divorce and, though it irritates me that I threw so much away for a dirtbag, I am excited to have my divorce decree in hand and to get rid of his last name. He left me with nothing and I had given up everything I had, including my scholarships, military career and family, but I am slowly getting back on my feet.

Oh, wow. Not the happiest of updates, but I’m happy for you that you are getting away from this man and moving on. Best of luck to you moving forward and rebuilding your life.


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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9 comments… add one
  • Lianne August 11, 2014, 1:46 pm

    Ugh. Sad update, but it’s definitely for the best that you get as far away from this asshole as possible.

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  • Coconot August 11, 2014, 1:50 pm

    Glad you got rid of this guy, but Sorry you lost the scholarships and career opportunities! Hopefully you can get some of them back over time, and I’m sure your family will come around to your support. On the bright side, things will probably only get better from here on out!

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  • possumgirl August 11, 2014, 2:50 pm

    Be glad that you got rid of this guy sooner rather than later, it could be way way worse… you could have been the one pregnant.

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  • Bittergaymark August 11, 2014, 3:13 pm

    Eh. Surprise, surprise. When you go well out of your way to be stupid about a relationship — you usually wind up losing everything… Lesson learned. One hopes.

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  • kare August 11, 2014, 4:18 pm

    I know there’s no hard and fast rule for cheating. However, I’d say unprotected sex that results in a baby (or stds) should be a deal breaker for a lot of people.

    Even Catelyn Stark had issues with Jon Snow.

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    • othy August 11, 2014, 4:40 pm

      You know nothing, Kare. 🙂

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      • zombeyonce August 11, 2014, 5:12 pm

        R+L=J! (At least, we’ll see if my favorite fan theory is correct..eventually.)

      • kare August 12, 2014, 9:48 am

        That’s what I think too…but who knows how it will turn out since it’s Game of Thrones.

  • Red_Lady August 11, 2014, 7:45 pm

    Haha, I was thinking of Catelyn too! Though, Ned Stark is a much better guy than the LWs ex. Yikes.

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