Updates: “Not Feeling so Patient Anymore” Responds

updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Not Feeling so Patient Anymore,” the brand new mom living in Spain (with her Spanish husband) whose meddling mother-in-law was critical of the way she cared for her baby and was full of old-school parenting advice, like giving the newborn some honey (!) on a pacifier to encourage him to take it. Keep reading to see if the MIL is still offering dangerous advice and criticizing the size of the LW’s nipples (!).

Over a year ago, I wrote to you about my difficult and meddling mother-in-law and our conflicts regarding my first-born son. A lot has happened since then, but I am happy to report that baby boy has grown into a happy and healthy toddler and was not harmed by his formula pushing, sugary-pacifier wielding grandmother! (No judgments here on formula or pacifiers, they just weren`t a choice I made and I didn`t appreciate them being constantly pushed on me.)

After taking your advice to basically chill out, we began to leave the baby with granny for short periods of time while I worked or had appointments. Unfortunately, when he was 8 months old and while Grandma was babysitting, she suffered a pulmonary embolism and gave everyone a big scare. I came to her apartment to pick up the baby and, when she didn´t answer the door, went into panic mode. I was able to call the doorman who had a key and we found her in her bed with the baby sleeping (unharnessed) in his stroller. We called an ambulance and, thankfully, Grandma is ok and the baby escaped unharmed as well. After this, we put babysitting on hold until baby was a little older. Now, Grandma comes over once a week to watch the 1.5 year old here at our apartment, and we have installed a wifi security camera so that, if there are any emergencies, we can make the right calls to get help to the house immediately. I feel better being able to check in with them at anytime, and the camera seemed to be a good solution to ease everyone´s apprehension and still allow Grandmama to have time with her grandson.

Grandma continues to give unsolicited and annoying advice, but I have gone back to my old ways and am able to just let it all slide. I appreciate her help so that I can work and get out of the house, and my son clearly loves her and loves his time with her.

Thanks for your advice, and, as always, I LOVE your column and continue to follow you on a weekly basis.

Wishing you and your family a great Thanksgiving.

Thank you! And good work on remaining chill in the face of unsolicited and annoying advice; that isn’t always easy!


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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  1. RedRoverRedRover says:

    The security camera is a great idea! Glad everything worked out.

  2. Skyblossom says:

    My friend’s mom would always feed the kids sugar sandwiches which she didn’t appreciate but also didn’t complain about. The kids got a huge benefit from time with the grandparents and they’ve reached the point where they think sugar sandwiches are disgusting.

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