Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Not Interested in That Path” Responds

updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Not Interested in That Path” who discovered that her boyfriend had been cheating on her with other men. She rationalized this, saying: “I was shocked and devastated. I knew this kind of thing existed (straight or married men looking for extra “fun”), but I didn’t know it was like 30-40% of straight men who have done this. He told me he was touched when he was young, and he was exposed to porn at a young age, so he’s very sexual (with some underlying issues about sex).” And then said: “I told him if we were going to continue seeing each other, which we are because we are crazy about each other, I need him to cut ties with these two men. He somewhat agreed, but he still kept their phone numbers because he said they were still good friends. I can’t agree to that — it’s either them or me. He said he chooses me, but now there’re trust issues — these other “guys” are into drugs and they are lonely and miserable and I don’t want my boyfriend involved in that path.”

Keep reading to see what she thought of my advice and whether or not she chose to follow it.

I got your response, and parts of it were quite RUDE and condescending…you MUST be American!!

First of all, I am NOT homophobic at all…I am totally at ease with gay or lesbian couples. I just don’t want MY boyfriend involved in this particular situation. He began using meth a few years ago and it’s a fact (you’ll probably doubt me on that one too) that many male meth users spiral down to almost rock bottom and will do anything for the next high, including sex with whomever. These ‘guys’ are meth addicts and dirty and jobless, thieves, homeless, ‘anti-woman’ (but I’m sure you’ll say it’s OK for gay men to be anti-woman’ ?!!).

My ‘boyfriend’ got lured into their lifestyle — AND BY LIFESTYLE, I DON’T MEAN GAY, I mean drugs, dirty, pathetic, etc., assholes who tried everything to get him to stay. They used him, lied, stole, etc. So OF COURSE I didn’t want him to have contact with them! It wasn’t a control issue for me, so don’t jump the gun on that one. (Ooh, I said the word GUN to an American! Everybody duck!!).

Next (and I’m not in denial — I’m just telling ypu the details), he said he was sick and embarrassed and right around the time he met me he had just quit drugs (went to rehab), but …he had still gone over to his ‘friend’s’ place for visits. Meth addicts often turn into sex addicts and like the feel of another man. I think I did more research than you did, sweetie! Same with the idiot assholes who commented after you on my question!

I wasn’t ‘twisting’ it…I was just confused cuz I wasn’t expecting it AT ALL. All his family and friends in our little town have told me that I’m great for him and that I’ve helped him get out of that downward spiral. I’m not a fucking idiot; of course I know that people just don’t BECOME GAY…What a stupid condescending thing to say! And YES, LOTS of people who were touched or molested at a young age DO have issues with sex.

Then you say that I need to go to therapy to find out why SO many men cheat on me??!!? LOFL! … I’ve had lots of relationships, only two or three cheated, capiche? I am a good catch, very pretty, and I KNOW how to please a man, but there’s always the few that think with their dicks and not their brain. You’ll be OH-SO proud to hear that I’ve since broken up with him, but remain friends because I’m a good listener and a nice person, not a SNOTTY RUDE AMERICAN , so FUCK YOU & YOUR FOLLOWERS. WHAT A JOKE.

PS:. Where’d you get your therapy or Advice Certificate? ….at the dollar store ?? 👌

 

You’re right: I am oh-so proud of you! Good job.

P.S. I’ve never heard of an “Advice Certificate,” but I’m just an stupid idiot lazy American, so that’s probably no surprise.

***************

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.

132 comments… add one
  • avatar

    JD March 5, 2018, 9:25 am

    id Switch sides too if she was my option. How lovely.

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    • avatar

      bondgirl March 5, 2018, 9:30 am

      omg I just snorted! Too funny!

      Is it safe to say she’s still dating this guy…? Oi.

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      • avatar

        JD March 5, 2018, 9:36 am

        At least she doesn’t have to date A stupid American. You go girl with your great meth addict guy. Also, ya plenty of people are addicted to drugs and still don’t have sex with men. Also love how her initial letter he just was having fun with men now it’s not his fault. Uh huh.

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    • avatar

      Essie March 5, 2018, 9:36 am

      Ha! That’s exactly what I thought. “Well, no wonder….”

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  • Lianne

    Lianne March 5, 2018, 9:28 am

    OMG. This is the best update ever. Talk about burying the lede! We had to wait for an update to know the full story. Girl, if you think leaving out the part where your boyfriend is a meth addict isn’t a crucial detail, you’re completely delusional. Maybe you should actually get back together with him.

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    • avatar

      ktfran March 5, 2018, 9:40 am

      Right?!? Let’s not give the full picture so the advice is angled toward what’s written then get our panties in a wad when you receive good advice based on what was sent in. This LW sounds lovely.

      What the fuck?

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    • avatar

      dinoceros March 5, 2018, 9:46 am

      Yes! I think this is even more proof that she apparently is anti-gay, since her boyfriend is a METH ADDICT and all she talked about was him trying to sleep with other men.

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    • avatar

      LisforLeslie March 5, 2018, 10:00 am

      I am still super confused about the whole “you must be an American” stuff. I mean, maybe if he was addicted to high fructose corn syrup I could see it but love of meth and dick is not uniquely American.

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  • avatar

    Kate March 5, 2018, 9:34 am

    “right around the time he met me he had just quit drugs (went to rehab)…”

    Hahahahahaha suuuuuuuure he did.

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    • othy

      othy March 5, 2018, 1:19 pm

      I do believe he went to rehab. However, I’m not certain he completed rehab, and I’m pretty certain he’s still using.

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  • avatar

    Essie March 5, 2018, 9:35 am

    Oh, lord, I can’t stop laughing. This really is the best update ever. My favorite kind of LW…the ones who cry that their relationship isn’t working….and then go on to show you exactly WHY their relationships don’t work.

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  • kmtthat

    kmtthat March 5, 2018, 9:40 am

    Well. you don’t see us dating meth addict/sex addict cheaters (or staying friends with them, because our self worth is tied into the idea of being “nice” to people who treat us like garbage). When you get therapy and get it together you might start dating quality men that you don’t have to write to an advice columnist about. You are so angry at us for telling you to move on from this guy, but you aren’t angry at HIM. And you are so angry at us presuming him to be ANYTHING LESS THAN 100% STRAIGHT. What difference does it make? Dude was doing meth and cheating on you. You make me sad for you.

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    • avatar

      LisforLeslie March 5, 2018, 10:21 am

      I don’t care if you’re bipanpoly. If you have established your relationship as open – then follow your established rules and have at it. If the rule is all the men but no women – OK. If you’re in a supposedly monogamous relationship and one partner is sleeping around -then they have broken the established rules. I don’t care if that partner is sleeping with men, women, trees or car exhaust pipes (google it folks – it’s real). They are your rules.

      If you tell me your partner broke your rules -and is lying about them, diminishing the impact or is otherwise making excuses why those rules don’t apply – I’m going to tell you to get your head out of your ass.

      If you tell me that he’s a freaking meth addict who is being corrupted by his meth taking/dealing friends… maybe you need a professional cranio-rectal extraction.

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  • avatar

    Hannanas March 5, 2018, 9:41 am

    When I read ‘Keep reading to see what she thought of my advice and whether or not she chose to follow it’, I knew this was going to be gold.

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  • avatar

    Heatherly March 5, 2018, 9:41 am

    Oh wow!!! I mean I have dated some real “prizes” in my time but this guy & for that matter this LW. Just… WOAH.

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    • avatar

      JD March 5, 2018, 9:45 am

      Calling every ex boyfriend to thank them for not sucking that much!

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  • avatar

    dinoceros March 5, 2018, 9:45 am

    Well, now we know why the boyfriend is looking outside the relationship. By LW’s logic, I think she might be SUPER American.

    I want to see the research that shows that meth addicts eventually become gay. Lol.

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    • Lianne

      Lianne March 5, 2018, 9:49 am

      I mean, I’ve heard addicts will perform sex acts for their next fix…this revelation that male addicts have sex with men because it feels good….well it just sounds like they’re gay…????

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    • avatar

      ktfran March 5, 2018, 9:54 am

      I do actually buy that he had sex with men or gave blow jobs or whatever to get the drugs if he was addicted to meth. That doesn’t explain why he’s still doing it though…. so yeah, he’s likely either gay or bi.

      If you haven’t seen it and want to be totally disturbed, watch Requiem for A Dream. That was heroine. Still.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 5, 2018, 9:56 am

        Noooooooooo, don’t watch that movie! It will fuck you up.

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      • avatar

        ktfran March 5, 2018, 9:58 am

        I still occasionally have nightmares about it and I watched it, IDK, 15 years ago or so.

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      • Lianne

        Lianne March 5, 2018, 10:54 am

        That is one movie I will NEVER watch again. Totally disturbing. Makes me so grateful I am not a drug addict.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster March 5, 2018, 11:32 am

        Permanently traumatized from watching that movie back in college!

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      • avatar

        csp March 5, 2018, 12:06 pm

        That movie messed me up for years. I feel like it should be required watching when you think about drugs

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      • othy

        othy March 5, 2018, 1:21 pm

        He’s either gay/bi or still using. Or both.

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 5, 2018, 2:28 pm

        I still despise that movie. And I was a burgeoning film student at the time it was released.
        Ugh.

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      • avatar

        carolann March 5, 2018, 7:10 pm

        I am a British tv/ movie freak (especially the 1960s and 1970s ones) and I have seen lots of guns in British shows…except they were being used for hunting. (Or at least they were originally meant for hunting, there were times when they were using hunting rifles for protection or to harm someone)

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    • avatar

      dinoceros March 5, 2018, 11:31 am

      I just had a moment to read through the letter more carefully. So many gems. Like thinking Americans are afraid of the word gun. I mean, our country is decidedly not bothered by guns — that’s the issue. Wonder where she’s from that she misunderstands the news so much.

      Also, the attempted burn about getting the “advice certificate” at the dollar store. It’s like the Anchroman quote, “Where did you get those pants? At the toilet store?” except if pants didn’t even exist.

      Ahahaha. Such a great update.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph March 5, 2018, 1:08 pm

        A few years ago my husband and I streamed a British TV show about the aftermath of a virus killing the majority of the population, about some of the survivors (I can’t remember the name). In contrast to The Walking Dead where everyone carries like 4 guns, there was ONE GUN in the entire series and everyone was like “whoa where did you get a gun?!” and someone got mad at someone else for threatening people with a gun. We thought it was so interesting and strange how in an american show theres a ton of guns firing 1000 bullets an episode and in a british show there’s just the one and nobody wants to use it for anything even though its the damn apocalypse.

        Do I think teenagers should be able to buy semiautomatic rifles? No. Am I glad that we are not all petrified at the very thought of someone having a weapon? Thinking back to that show I’d say probably yes.

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      • avatar

        dinoceros March 5, 2018, 1:12 pm

        That’s so funny! I’ve never noticed that before (or else I haven’t seen a British show that involved guns).

        I’d think that people outside the US would assume we were more into guns, not less.

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      • avatar

        csp March 5, 2018, 1:20 pm

        It is like the movie “hot Fuzz”. It is a British buddy cop movie. But what is hard about the genre is that there are no guns in England. So you can’t have the shoot outs. Very interesting twist on the way we see things.

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      • avatar

        carolann March 5, 2018, 7:18 pm

        You CAN have a gun in England just not a handgun. You can have sporting guns. (rifles and shotguns) I have many family members in England who live in the country and own guns.

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  • avatar

    SpaceySteph March 5, 2018, 9:57 am

    Yes how very AMERICAN of Wendy and the rest of us to think that dating a man who has been cheating on you for your entire oh-so-very-long-and-serious 3 month relationship is a bad idea.
    No matter how much of a catch you are (for the sake of argument lets assume you are definitely a catch because all people who are “a catch” feel the need to convince strangers on the internet of that fact), no dude is going to quit drugs for a woman he’s been dating for 3 months and cheating on the whole time. You hid the drugs thing because you knew that would swing the answer from “probably break up” to “omfg definitely break up.”

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    • avatar

      LisforLeslie March 5, 2018, 10:14 am

      Had we said “Oh, your boyfriend is having sex with other people, you not should stay together. Also, here is a gun. And a donut.” it would be a proper American response.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph March 5, 2018, 11:03 am

        Haha. I’m going to go eat chili cheese fries while holding a shotgun and watching Law and Order to celebrate this LW figuring out that I’m American.

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      • avatar

        JD March 5, 2018, 11:31 am

        ‘Merica!

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      • avatar

        bondgirl March 5, 2018, 12:10 pm

        mmmmm now I really want a donut.

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      • avatar

        csp March 5, 2018, 1:21 pm

        comment of the day 🙂

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  • avatar

    va-in-ny March 5, 2018, 10:13 am

    I guess 30-40% of Americans only give advice based off of the information submitted.

    ::shrug::

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    • avatar

      carolann March 5, 2018, 7:24 pm

      Hahahahahaha!
      I tried to be as nice as I could when I responded to the original letter, but she came off as a real ditz.
      And if she is so beautiful and “knows how to please a man” how come she came across as so desperate?
      And I live in the South… you could throw a rock and hit a meth addict.(unfortunately) I know plenty of current and former meth addicts and not one of them is gay. I don’t think there is a connection there. :p

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 10:34 am

    LW, if rude and condescending is your vision of an American I guess you’re the most American of us all.

    Thanks for the entertainment. You certainly told us.

    PS The fact that you are staying with and defending a meth addicted, cheating boyfriend says everything about where you are in life. Only a loser dates a loser.

    Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, dump the boyfriend and next time choose a higher quality guy and then you’ll have a higher quality life.

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    • avatar

      LisforLeslie March 5, 2018, 10:41 am

      @Skyblossom – she says she broke up with him but they are still friends. So I guess that’s better? Still, I’m not sure if it was sex with men or meth use that was the deciding factor. Or maybe it was something else entirely. Maybe he chewed with his mouth open.

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  • avatar

    anonymousse March 5, 2018, 10:39 am

    Oh my god. Wendy, I’m sorry you have to deal with so many very angry, bitter and unhappy people. What an asshole.

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  • bagge72

    bagge72 March 5, 2018, 10:54 am

    Somebody send this letter to her Therapist, Quickly!

    Trying to sum this up here. So he’s not sleeping with other men because he was touched as a child? It’s because he is a meth addict and his meth addict friends forced him in to it? Then he turned his addiction to meth into an addiction to sex , but sex with you wasn’t satisfying enough so he turned back to his male meth friends for it?

    I can tell you I’m 100% certain that the following part of your update is a lie ” I’m a good listener and a nice person” You didn’t listen to a thing anyone said, and you are definitely not a nice person.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 11:48 am

      We can assume that he is either bi and having sex with guys because he enjoys it or he is selling his body for meth or maybe both.

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    • avatar

      dinoceros March 5, 2018, 1:16 pm

      I wonder if the meth thing is made up. I re-read her first letter and it doesn’t really add up. She mentions that his “friends” do drugs and she doesn’t want him to get involved. If he was at the point of exchanging sex for drugs, then I think it’s a little late for that.

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  • bittergaymark

    Bittergaymark March 5, 2018, 10:57 am

    All the witty stuff has all been said. BRAVO, Everyone.
    .
    In all seriousness. LW? A bisexual sex /meth addict? Get tested. STAT. For everything.

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  • avatar

    Northern Star March 5, 2018, 11:02 am

    Good lord. Are some people really that desperate? How sad and pathetic.

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  • avatar

    Fyodor March 5, 2018, 11:25 am

    LW, if you ignore all other advice, please get tested for STDs. Being sexually involved with a drug addict who is having casual SS relations with other drug addicts is a pretty high risk situation. Even if you think that we’re all a bunch of assholes, please get yourself tested.

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 11:45 am

    So either he is gay or bi or still selling his body for meth. Regardless of which is the truth or maybe he is bi and selling his body for meth, he cheated on you. That’s the one fact that is relevant. He cheated on you. You can’t trust him and he is pulling down the quality of your life. You can do better.

    All of the other things you focused on don’t matter. It doesn’t matter why he was having sex with men. He was cheating on you. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. He was cheating on you. Being a meth addict is relevant because he is likely still using or will be using soon if he is hanging out with and having sex with his meth buddies. Drug addicts aren’t emotionally available to anyone. Keep that in mind. Your addict won’t be emotionally available to you. Your addict will do what he needs to do to feed his addiction. His addiction will always come first. He won’t stay clean if he hangs out with the meth gang. The one thing they share is that they do meth.

    You will do yourself a favor by blocking this guy from your life. Whatever you do don’t help fund his meth addiction. Don’t be his place to live when all his money goes to meth. Don’t feed him. Don’t provide everything he needs to live so that he can pour everything he has into his addiction.

    This would be different if he had gone no contact with his meth buddies. He hasn’t. That’s what you need to know.

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    • juliecatharine

      Juliecatharine March 5, 2018, 12:08 pm

      Sky you must be a seriously off the charts nice person to still be trying to give her advice. I just don’t have it in me.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph March 5, 2018, 2:23 pm

        But we’ll never know if she’s a nice person because she didn’t end her post with “I’m a nice person!” Also I wonder if Skyblossom is a catch. Maybe she’ll be kind enough to let us know?

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 11:52 am

    LW If you want someone with a certificate you go to see a therapist.

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  • juliecatharine

    Juliecatharine March 5, 2018, 12:06 pm

    The whole town thinks she’s very good for him. Congratulations OP you are a big step up from homeless meth addicts, you really do sound like a prize.

    With absolute sincerity THANK YOU, this update made my morning. It was so funny I read it to my husband and we’re still laughing. At you. In case that wasn’t clear. 😘

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    • avatar

      LisforLeslie March 5, 2018, 12:41 pm

      @JulieCatherine – oh my you’re right. If a meth addict who sleeps with other men to either get drugs or due to unresolved sexual abuse is a STEP UP – then I can’t even imagine the other winners in this person’s relationship history.

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  • avatar

    peggy March 5, 2018, 12:39 pm

    All of the above and she does not need therapy to see why she is attracting/dealing with these loser men, because “She has only been cheated on 2 or 3 times!” Just wow.

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    • avatar

      allornone March 5, 2018, 1:50 pm

      which is supposed to be a small number compared to the amount of relationships she’s had. I can’t imagine too many of those relationships being serious or long term if she’s reportedly had so many.

      Sure, she’s a great catch, if you’re into catch and release.

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  • PippaTee

    PeeTee March 5, 2018, 12:52 pm

    If they met when the BF was in rehab, it was hardly an auspicious beginning for a relationship. Don’t the $ store “experts” say you should be addiction-free for at leat a year before embarking on new relationships?

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    • avatar

      LisforLeslie March 5, 2018, 2:35 pm

      They do indeed! You’re replacing one high/distraction with another.

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  • Monkeysmommy

    Monkeys mommy March 5, 2018, 1:15 pm

    As a concealed carrying woman, your gun stereo-typing is not nearly as hysterical as the fact that you think you KNOW how to please a man… honey, if that was true, your boyfriend wouldn’t be getting it elsewhere. Your reasoning and excuses are sad and pathetic…

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  • avatar

    csp March 5, 2018, 1:25 pm

    This might show my ignorance but I thought Meth was only in America. Like it was a weird ass thing we made and use. Where do you think the LW is? What other hot meth capitals are there?

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 1:38 pm

      Hot meth capitals!
      I’m guessing the LW is Canadian. I love you Canadians, but no other nationality is quite as quick to put an American in his or her place as a Canadian is, and Canada has those long, cold winters I could see people turning to meth to escape. Plus, close enough to disgusting America to pick up some of our dirty habits.

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      • avatar

        MissD March 5, 2018, 2:03 pm

        Totally offended! lol

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    • avatar

      Kate March 5, 2018, 1:39 pm

      Probably Canada.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 1:53 pm

      I assume Kate and Wendy can tell where the LW is accessing the internet so Canada is probably a safe bet in this situation.

      There is meth use in Europe.

      https://www.citylab.com/equity/2016/12/these-maps-show-how-european-drug-use-is-changing/510608/

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  • avatar

    Nicole March 5, 2018, 1:38 pm

    Wow. This person has a HUGE attitude problem….

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 1:51 pm

      Huge, as in hugely entertaining attitude problem!

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    • avatar

      Jessica March 5, 2018, 1:56 pm

      Take the letter down I reported u. You’re a phony and a rude bitch, so are your brainwashed followers. You Americans are so rude and stupid and arrogant, ignorant, ..no wonder the rest of the planet hates u

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 2:14 pm

        OH NO. Did I get reported to the internet police AGAIN?! When will it stop?!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 2:14 pm

        Oh, and yep: Canadian IP.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 2:17 pm

        Nanaimo, to be exact, which reminds me: fellow rude Americans, if you have not had the privilege of eating a Nanaimo bar (I’m assuming, maybe wrongly, that most Canadians have?), you MUST try one!! Here’s a recipe:

        http://www.kraftcanada.com/recipes/nanaimo-bars-89644

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      • avatar

        JD March 5, 2018, 2:30 pm

        Reported Wendy to who? Herself? You sure you didn’t get into that meth?

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      • avatar

        anonymousse March 5, 2018, 2:31 pm

        LOL smoke some meth, feel better, lady.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 5, 2018, 2:44 pm

        Who did you submit this report to, crackhead?

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      • juliecatharine

        Juliecatharine March 5, 2018, 2:45 pm

        The fact that this chick is (or claims to be) in her 40s makes this so much sadder….and so much funnier.

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      • avatar

        LisforLeslie March 5, 2018, 2:46 pm

        Damn Wendy – that ombudsman is going to be bizzzayyy.

        I can see it now:
        Interior: Cubicle farm. Heavy-set man with crumb-laden mustache and pale short sleeved button down shirt is looking at a computer screen. His eyes widen and a look of consternation crosses his face.
        He taps a few keys, stands up and walks to the printer. He pulls a large stack of pages from the printer, pivots a heads to a large office.

        He leans in and asks “ya gotta sec, Chief?”

        Behind a large desk sits a trim man wearing a dark blue uniform. An uneaten sandwich is on his desk. He looks up “What’d ya got?”

        Says mustache: “You’re not going to believe it! Another complaint about some random advice website where people were insulting ” the man raises his hands, still trying to grip the printed pages tightly while making air quotes “and mean”. He lowers his hands.

        “Oh no! Mean people on the internet! Well I guess that’s why we, the internet police, are here.” He nods at the stack of pages “Is that the evidence?”

        “This?” the mustache looks at the stack of pages? “Nah, this is the betting pool for the next sports event. I’m making Bill run it this year but I had the grid laid out already. Ya want to sign up?”

        End Scene

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      • avatar

        Allornone March 5, 2018, 2:48 pm

        LW is becoming less and less coherent with every sentence she types, but we are the stupid and ignorant ones. The irony is so delightful.

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      • avatar

        dinoceros March 5, 2018, 2:49 pm

        Hahaha. I love it, LisforLeslie.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 3:21 pm

        Thanks for coming back to give us a little bit more entertainment!!!

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 3:24 pm

        @Jessica If this site is so rude and stupid and arrogant and ignorant why did you choose it?

        Your choice says everything about you.

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      • Lianne

        Lianne March 5, 2018, 3:45 pm

        Ya know, I was wondering when this first got posted if the LW is also a meth addict. I think the incoherence of her comments makes me lean toward “yes.”

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      • avatar

        Rava March 6, 2018, 4:46 am

        @LisforLeslie That was actually really good. When is the feature film coming out? Recommend it already

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      • avatar

        Lucidity March 6, 2018, 11:23 am

        Oh, my god.

        I’m going to go apply for a green card right now. I’d rather be a rude, stupid American than live in the same country as this psychopath.

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  • avatar

    allornone March 5, 2018, 1:53 pm

    Wow.

    This letter is best read with a tub of popcorn. Or a stiff drink, whichever you prefer.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 1:57 pm

      Popcorn is so very, very American.

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    • avatar

      ktfran March 5, 2018, 1:59 pm

      Why not both!

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  • avatar

    Leenore March 5, 2018, 2:24 pm

    On a serious note, I hope she gets screened for STDs Hep A is running rampant in the substance abuse communities right now.

    Dang, Wendy, you can’t make this stuff up.

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  • Guy Friday

    Guy Friday March 5, 2018, 2:36 pm

    Is there anyone here who questions whether the boyfriend is actually a meth addict? Like, that fact came SO out of nowhere, and it’s basically the whole rebuttal, that I feel like it has to be made up to make the LW look better.

    If I’m wrong, feel free to report me too, LW 🙂

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      dinoceros March 5, 2018, 2:50 pm

      I think it’s made up too! Nothing in the previous letter indicated there was anything like that going on. It’s a sad day when pretending your boyfriend is a meth addict makes you look better.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      SweetT March 5, 2018, 2:59 pm

      I agree. I don’t believe it. Something like that is usually the opening line. I wonder what the boyfriend would think of the LW after reading all of this…

      Reply Link
    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 3:18 pm

      Or she was hiding the fact that he was a meth addict because it would make her look bad and everyone would tell her to break up. You are stooping low when you choose a meth addict. It means your life isn’t going well and the LW probably knows it.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      MMR March 5, 2018, 3:25 pm

      I like the idea that to make herself look better she came up with “my boyfriend is addicted to meth”.

      hahaha!!!!!!!!

      Well jeee, in that case, I guess you’re on the right track…. ????

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Jessica March 5, 2018, 3:01 pm

    Is this a high school advice column you’re running? Cuz U have NO people skills. I feel sorry for u cuz u dont know a thing, and your hair is ugly red.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 3:16 pm

      Well, at this rate, I’m just happy I still have some, ugly red or not!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        bondgirl March 5, 2018, 3:40 pm

        Wendy, your hair color is gorgeous.

        Link
      • Lianne

        Lianne March 5, 2018, 3:42 pm

        Haha! Wendy, you’ve got a great sense of humor…

        Link
    • Lianne

      Lianne March 5, 2018, 3:43 pm

      Ohhhh Jessica.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Artsygirl March 5, 2018, 3:50 pm

      You are a 40 year old woman using “cuz” and “u” and attempting to cyberbully a well-respected advice columnist who has an international following – seriously leave that to the actual high school mean girls because they are a lot better at it than you.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      allornone March 5, 2018, 3:55 pm

      oh for Pete’s sake:

      It’s “you”, not “u.” The word is three lousy letters long and you can’t bring yourself to type it.

      And then you result to calling someone ugly when you can’t think of a better retort.

      And you think we’re the ones in high school?

      Reply Link
    • Ginger

      Ginger March 5, 2018, 6:57 pm

      Fellow redhead here! (Solidarity @dearwendy!!)

      Wendy and I might have ugly hair, but you’re an ugly, homophobic person who cyberbulies people on the internet.

      I’ll take ugly hair any day over being like you.

      Reply Link
  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny March 5, 2018, 3:20 pm

    This is the most bizarre follow up I’ve read in a long time. Good job, Jessica.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    ron March 5, 2018, 3:42 pm

    So she’s basically telling us that her bf is a male prostitute earning drug money from very troubled people. But that makes it ok, he doesn’t really love his Johns, so she doesn’t have a rival and he isn’t really cheating — definitely a relationship worth saving, even treasuring. Something to build one’s life around.

    Reply Link
  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom March 5, 2018, 3:46 pm

    Jessica, this is a serious comment meant to help you. When you go on a rant people are going to laugh at you. It will happen in Canada as much as the US. When you go on a rant you lose dignity and respectability. When you lash out at people they will find you funny or annoying or pathetic but they won’t respect you or take you seriously. If you do this in your person life the people you know will be making fun of you behind your back. Maybe you already know that and that is the reason you are so sensitive to the truth. It hits too close to home. You lash out doing all of the things you accuse others of doing and it makes you look bad. Try to take this experience and use it to learn about how you are perceived. Use it to change the way you express yourself to the world. The people who know you in real life will say you grew up, you matured. They will respect you a lot more than they do now. You have to earn respect and one of the things you have to do to earn it is to treat others with respect. People weren’t being mean to you until you went on a rant. You invited the reaction. People were being factual because most of the people who reply on this site have been cheated on. They get the situation. They give advice based on what is most likely to help you move forward and have a better life.

    Put the advice away for now because you are hurting. Then when you are feeling a little better look at it and see if there is anything useful and then put it away again. Wait even longer and do it again. Keep coming back to it as you are able and you’ll begin to see that people were helping you and trying to give you advice that would help you to have a better life.

    Skip the rants. They only invite humiliation and you aren’t emotionally up to that.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      allornone March 5, 2018, 4:03 pm

      you are a wise one, skyblossom.

      Reply Link
  • Dear Wendy

    Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 5:07 pm

    Putting this here so I have public documentation of who is bullying who. Sent through Facebook to my private page (which is set to private):

    “Ugly photos . You have no training. You like to be rude & condescending, don’t ya? Deep rooted issues from your childhood perhaps? AND it looks like you are a lesbian, so now it all makes sense that u immediately thought I was homophobic. PUH-LEAZE….. You think everybody is homophobic and they’re SO not . So I think u should give up the little Carrie Bradshaw article and quit whining and getting offended at the mere mention of gay.
    Delete my letter, or I have other screenshots of you and your idiot followers. Is that your kid in that photo.?
    Serves you right for talking that way to me , u condescending snotty idiot'”

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      MissD March 5, 2018, 5:16 pm

      She sounds officially nuts. You should block her on FB so she can’t continue to harass you.

      Reply Link
      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 5:23 pm

        Most Canadians ARE nuts! 😉

        Link
      • avatar

        MissD March 5, 2018, 6:46 pm

        @Wendy at least we have Nanaimo bars!!!

        Link
      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy March 5, 2018, 7:11 pm

        Touché!

        Link
    • avatar

      Kate March 5, 2018, 5:23 pm

      Jessica, you sound like a raving idiot.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Artsygirl March 5, 2018, 5:24 pm

      Hope you can get this sorted out – the woman is clearly suffering from severe mental illness. Now I wonder if cheating-meth-boyfriend is all a figment of her delusional imagination or if it is some poor gay man she is stalking convinced they are in a relationship.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      JD March 5, 2018, 5:40 pm

      I still really want to comprehend who she thinks she is reporting all this with her screen shots to? Cracking me up.

      Reply Link
      • Guy Friday

        Guy Friday March 5, 2018, 6:39 pm

        And screen shots of user names? Well, stop the presses, Batman!

        Link
    • avatar

      anonymousse March 5, 2018, 8:00 pm

      OMG, what a fucking batshit monster.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      Hannanas March 6, 2018, 4:16 am

      “Is that your kid in that photo?” FUCKING TOOL.
      I think you have grounds to report her, Wendy.

      Reply Link
    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom March 6, 2018, 6:08 am

      Threatening a kid is low and bordering on illegal. I think you should contact her local police department. She crossed a line.

      Reply Link
    • bagge72

      bagge72 March 6, 2018, 8:25 am

      No way this women is 40. If she is, there is some real mental issues going on.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      allornone March 6, 2018, 12:49 pm

      wow, so she’s not homophobic, but thinks calling you a lesbian is an insult. Okay.

      and did she just threaten your kid? Oh hell no. I was starting to feel sorry for this delusional nut case until that went down. That crosses a serious line that could very well have legal ramifications. This b*tch is crazy.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Sapphire March 5, 2018, 7:00 pm

    I think we been trolled. Even if she’s real, at least it was entertaining to read all through that.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Ange March 5, 2018, 7:23 pm

    I was going to say if LW is such a great catch why is she getting with such losers, you’d get the good guys wouldn’t you?

    And then I read further……

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      Kate March 5, 2018, 7:34 pm

      No, but really – if you’re a catch, you’re not dating gay meth-heads. Unless your town is so small that your only other options are your blood relatives, and you’ve gone through all of them already?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Ange March 5, 2018, 7:51 pm

        Everyone is probably encouraging this because they’re tired of her meth head boyfriend stealing their shit, LW keeps him off the streets and away from their laptops.

        Link
      • avatar

        Kate March 5, 2018, 7:55 pm

        Yeah, they’ve got to be tired of him sneaking into their garages to sleep, so they’re happy he’s been shacking up with the village idiot this winter.

        Link
      • avatar

        LisforLeslie March 6, 2018, 6:39 am

        I love that you’ve created a whole back story on why the town thinks this is a keeper relationship: So he stops sleeping in my garage, he drools on my snowmobile eh?

        Link
      • avatar

        Kate March 6, 2018, 8:52 am

        Yeah, I mean, his mom obviously knows Jessica’s a skank who dropped out of grade 5 and doesn’t manage her mental or gynecological health, but she’s like, better he have a warm bed in Jess’s trailer from November to March than that I keep catching him sucking junkies’ dicks in my cellar whenever I go down there for some frozen deer meat. Her heart can’t handle being startled like that much more.

        Link
  • avatar

    Amber March 5, 2018, 9:23 pm

    On one hand, I have to say: Wendy, I love your hair color 😀 I think you give great advice. And, from reading your responses to letters, I know you’re not a homophobe (closeted or otherwise).

    But on the other hand, I have to say: Don’t feed the troll 😀 They tend to whine, cry, and bitch when they don’t get their way. As for contacting you on Facebook, that seems like a step into stalker/harassment territory. Be careful.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy March 6, 2018, 7:21 am

      I haven’t responded to her. Only sharing here what she sent to me to have public documentation.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Lucy March 5, 2018, 11:17 pm

    I would bet real money that this boyfriend doesn’t even exist.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    va-in-ny March 6, 2018, 2:07 pm

    “My boyfriend is doing some gay stuff and I don’t like it. What should I do?”

    “There’s a chance that your boyfriend might actually be gay and that’s not something he can change. It’s probably best for you to move on.”

    “WHAT? He isn’t gay! He’s just on meth!”

    hahahaha! It’s still cracking me up!

    Reply Link
    • bagge72

      bagge72 March 6, 2018, 2:35 pm

      I mean then add in, “I’m not homophobic you lesbian!” and it’s just the greatest story of all time.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    What March 7, 2018, 1:07 pm

    Now we know why he cheats!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Purpose March 7, 2018, 3:15 pm

    LW: oh see…….I thought you were American, but by your [email protected], homophobic letter, I really should have known better. Good luck with your awesome life! ♥
    -just another American

    Reply Link

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