It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Outback Crush,” the young woman who developed a crush on a guy from Australia she met one night while he was visiting the states. She wondered if it would be crazy to start a long distance relationship with him and whether it was weird that he mentioned how much money he made.
Also, no, I’m not a gold-digger. As I said in my last letter, most of the men I’ve dated up until now have been as poor as I am, as have the ones I’ve gone out with since. Would ending up with an awesome guy who I love who ALSO has the means to give me a great house and allows me to not have to worry about bills be great? Absolutely. But it’s not why I’m interested. Someone in the comments also pointed out that money can be attractive because it can point to other attractive qualities like work ethic, intelligence and drive to succeed — things I see and admire in people like my father who never made more than 60k. And again, I felt sparks before I had any idea what kind of money he made.
The reason I mentioned money was because he mentioned it, and I thought you might give me a clue as to what his motives in mentioning that were. I thought I made that pretty clear in my letter when I said, “Do guys normally talk about their salary and life-affecting things with girls they’re interested in? I’ve never been with a guy who had worldly assets to brag about, to be honest.” Anyway, perhaps it wasn’t so clear, so mea culpa.
Thank you again for answering my letter. These heels have been cooled and I’m totally down for riding the chill wave, making a friend, and seeing if anything comes of it later on. Perhaps much, much, much later on, or not at all.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.