Updates: “Plus One Required” Responds

updatesIt’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Plus One Required,” the woman in a wheelchair who wondered if she could ask for a plus-one to a wedding so that she’d have someone along to assist her. Keep reading to see how it all worked out.

Hi, Wendy! Just wanted to update you on my wedding etiquette conundrum. I ended up texting both friends asking if I could bring a guest. I told them I know it’s not “proper” to typically ask this and I hoped it wouldn’t cause a problem and I would be totally willing to pay for the extra person. They both said that of course I could bring someone, that it was no problem, and that my offer to pay was silliness. I don’t know why I felt so stressed about this before so I definitely appreciate your guidance on this!

BUT! The real drama came with one of my dates. My sister went with me to the out-of-town wedding and we had a lovely time. It was fun to have a sisters’ weekend. As for the other wedding, about two weeks before it, I invited a guy I’d been casually seeing for about two months. It may have been a little early to invite someone I wasn’t real serious with (or even really that excited about) but we’d dated enough that it might’ve been odd going with another guy. Plus, to be honest, my ex was going to be at this one with his new wife and I wanted to show up with an actual date and not just a girlfriend who came along.

Well, after I invited him, I didn’t hear from him for a week. Assuming I must’ve freaked him out, I eventually texted to see how he was doing and let him know that there wasn’t any pressure with going and that, if he wasn’t up for it, that was cool. He reassured me he was happy to go and it’d be fun, he’d just been busy with work, blah blah. Almost another week goes by with very little communication until the day before the wedding when he texts me saying that he can only stay until 7:30! The wedding began at 5! I mean, really? 7:30?! Oh AND if I “wanted to stay later, maybe [I] could find another ride home?” Uhhmmm, no??? He said he had to help his sister move the next day and would have to get an early start, so he didn’t want to stay out “too late.” I thought the whole thing was totally rude. I said thanks for being willing to go but not to bother and I’d ask someone else to go. So I texted a friend of mine and asked him to do me a huge, last-minute favor and be my date, and he did! It actually worked out better anyway because this guy is much more handsome. 😛 The first dude and I haven’t spoken since. Good riddance!

L-A-M-E! But cool that you got to show up with a handsome (and kind) man to a wedding where a married ex would be. Hope you had fun!


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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  1. Wonderland says:

    Makes you wish the first dude could have been an adult and just said “I’d rather not go”.

  2. Your handsome “friend” rescued you? Hmm…. I wonder if he’s available?

    1. bittergaymark says:

      Super Hot Handsome guy that she is NOT interested in? Probably gay. 😉

      1. Of course. What was I thinking?

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