Updates: “Rugby Widow” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Rugby Widow” whose letter about her concern with her husband’s safety and physical health while playing rugby appeared in a recent His Take column. After his two knee surgeries, and some kidney issues, she hoped he’d consider quitting. After the jump, find out if he’s any closer to making that hope a reality.

I was actually shocked that my letter was posted and more shocked that the guys sided with my husband! So, I showed my husband the post and he read all the responses along with all of the comments at the bottom. We spoke about it and he is realizing the risks. To answer some of the comments: he has a desk job, insurance, and we do have life/disability insurance. My concerns are still there but I have decided to respect him as the competent man that he is. Ultimately, I have taken a step back and let him go through what he needs to with this. My husband isn’t quitting but he seems to be blowing off practice more. So I think that time will help him let this part of his life go. Thanks for the advice!

Hope he stays safe as long as he’s out on the field (and after, of course) — for his sake and yours!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.


  1. Of course it was posted! I don’t think enough letters are sent in to His Take column and therefore, everything gets answered!

  2. I’m not at all surprised the guys sided with her husband. 😛

  3. bittergaymark says:

    That was a letter that I was happy I didn’t have to answer because I didn’t have a great snappy fix-it my way response… It’s one of those rare Dear Wendy letters that actually has a lot of grey in it. On one hand, she should shut up and let her man be a man. On the other, she has some very real and justifiable concerns… And then on my hand, Rugby players are just so damn hot… 😉

    But seriously, this was a tough one.

    I definitely do want to echo Budjer’s point that the bailing on practices is NOT a good thing in that it can and WILL leave him more open to injury on game days…

    Here’s to hoping he finds a sport that is not quite so destructive.

  4. Not practicing is dangerous, imo….he should be careful. If you aren’t exerting yourself every opportunity you can (team practice) with a sport like that his body could not be “warmed up” enough to operate at competition levels during game day and injury may be more likely.

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