Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Scared to Come Clean” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Scared to Come Clean” who was anxious about sharing her HPV diagnosis with her boyfriend. Her letter was posted as a “Your Turn” column, and after the jump, hear what she has to say about your advice and how she’s doing today.


First off I would like to thank everyone for their very supportive feedback. I was really surprised and it actually gave me a little more momentum to come forward. It even made me research HPV more than I had before because in the beginning I was scared and didn’t want to come across something I would not want to see or read. But reading everyone else’s stories made me research more for myself based on what my doctor told me. Coming clean was something I had to do. Not telling my boyfriend was simply out of the question. I find a lot it easier to just be upfront in a relationship, especially if it’s something that is bothering me.

I DID, in fact, tell him the same day I saw everyone’s feedback. We were sitting on the couch casually watching T.V. and I just decided to turn down the volume and say what I had to say. He wasn’t really shocked because he said he had been tested for STDs not too long before we got together and said the only STD he couldn’t test against was HPV. He did, in fact, know a little about HPV and understood completely. He assured me to just do exactly what my doctor told me and we will get through this. I am just so thankful he understood my situation and made me feel at ease about the whole thing. There are nice guys out there after all!

I just want to thank everyone again for helping me understand you don’t have to be considered “dirty” or “sleezy” to contract this sort of thing. I rather look at it now as one of the sad consequences people go through from having sex — protected or unprotected. I am just glad I found out my problem before it was too late, and if I could give any advice myself it would be for sexually active women (and men) to get tested as frequently as you can (when you change sex partners) and keep up with yearly paps!

Thanks for the update and best of luck to you!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

10 comments… add one
  • T-minus 1.8Hrs to Happy Hour March 11, 2011, 12:06 pm


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  • AnitaBath March 11, 2011, 12:07 pm

    Awesome! That’s great he was already educated!

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  • BecBoo84 March 11, 2011, 12:13 pm

    Awesome. He sounds like a great guy!

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  • jessielou March 11, 2011, 12:13 pm

    I’m glad he was mature and supportive about it. He sounds like a good guy. Good luck with the treatment!

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  • Liz March 11, 2011, 12:20 pm

    Fantastic! Glad we were all able to help in some way. A little bit of education on the subject goes a long way.

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  • JennyTalia March 11, 2011, 12:23 pm

    I think a lot of women underestimate the importance of regular paps. Years ago my doctor found a huge ovarian cyst that I never even knew was there! Doctors are the experts so please please please get checked up regularly even if you don’t think you need to. I tested positive for HPV a few years ago (benign) and now feel uneasy even going a full year for a pap.

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  • camille905 March 11, 2011, 12:37 pm

    Yay for responsible informed adults and healthy relationships! I love these kind of updates 🙂

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  • sobriquet March 11, 2011, 12:40 pm

    This is great news. Your boyfriend seems very mature. You’re completely right that you don’t have to be slutty to contract HPV or any sexually transmitted disease for that matter. I just recently discovered that there are silent carriers of HV-2… they don’t show signs of the disease and test negatively for it, yet can still pass it on. I was shocked! It’s good to come across little facts like this every once in awhile to reinforce my belief in condoms.

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  • fast eddie March 11, 2011, 1:31 pm

    I love happy endings like this. (hugs)

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  • HmC March 11, 2011, 1:37 pm

    It really is amazing how spotty the information on HPV is out there, and how uninformed we all are about it. Like the LW (and it seems, many others) I knew very little accurate information about HPV until I was confronted with it personally, and I consider myself a very informed, educated person! I was just talking to my roommate about HPV last night, and she’s got all sorts of weird views of it that I’m not sure are even accurate. Plus, the information is always changing… just last week a new study came out that showed that something like half of ALL MEN are carriers of some form of HPV at any given time.

    Anyway, so glad this worked out for you LW! Good luck with what sounds like a great guy.

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