Updates: “Stuck in a Limbo Divorce” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Stuck in a Limbo Divorce,” the 40-something woman who was going through a divorce when she met a man online she really hit it off with. He told her he’d been through a divorce himself and that she needed 12 months to process everything before she’d be ready to date anyone seriously. Her divorce was dragging on, and she worried that he wouldn’t wait for her. And, of yeah, on the side she had a hot karate instructor she was banging “fortnightly,” so it’s not like she was just horny. Keep reading to see if her divorce is over and if Mr. Wonderful waited around.

WOW, thank God I wrote in to your column. It only took the advice of 20 strangers in a foreign country on the other side of the world to convince me that I was totally obsessed with a relationship that had never even started! I also realised that “fortnight” isn’t in the lexicon of the average American. Huh.

So, happily, I was able to internalise the advice: that if he was into me, he would have called by now and, in reality, I probably wasn’t ready for a relationship based on mutual respect. In fact, pinning my hopes on such a wafer-thin promise of a relationship was likely heading me straight into a highly dependent relationship.

Anyhow, I have actually found a rather nice chap, and we’ve been seeing quite a bit of one another for a few months now. Although I must say he’s a bit of a rough diamond…what do I do with someone who takes me to a restaurant but holds his knife and fork like an axe? Cheers, Wendy.

I have no idea what an “axe” is, but I do love your accent!


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.


  1. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

    Like the thing you chop down a tree with Wendy!

    1. Avatar photo Dear Wendy says:

      Yes, I realized that after I wrote my response. I was originally reading the LW’s reply like the dude was the ax, not like he was holding his utensils like they were axes. I thought an “axe” was some charming Aussie term for brute or something like that.

      1. honeybeenicki says:

        I read it the same way… like he was the axe, not the utensils. I was confused.

  2. I love LW’s with such insight and confidence. Here’s to the rough diamonds of the world!
    Also, I gotta know, are you still seeing the hot karate instructor?

  3. Flashback… my husband was basically raised by wolves (only a slight exaggeration) and despite having a high powered corporate job, had horrifying table manners when I met him. I literally had to retrain him from scratch. Fortunately he kind of already knew his manners were appalling and was happy to be taught.

  4. Good update! I hope things continue to go well with your nice, axe-cutlery chap. And, I’ve definitely used the term ‘fortnightly’ before. It’s fun, and more descriptive than bi-weekly.

    1. Re: fortnightly… I wish it was used more in America, too. It’s stupid that bi-weekly and bi-monthly mean the same thing. So much confusion around the office.

      1. Biweekly means every two weeks and bimonthly means every two months. Semi-monthly is twice a month.

      2. Avatar photo Dear Wendy says:

        Biweekly can also mean twice a week.

      3. But it shouldn’t! Twice-weekly is better for that idea.

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