It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Subsidized and Confused” who didn’t tell her live-in boyfriend that she used her parents’ credit card to book their flights to her older sibling’s wedding. He was upset when he learned of the fact after he gave he gave her money to reimburse her for his flight and she took it. “My boyfriend has very hurt feelings that: (A) my parents did not offer to pay for his airfare; and (B) that I did not offer to pay for half of his airfare since I didn’t pay for my own.” She continued: “He and I both earn very good money, and my parents and his parents are well-off. I want to talk to my parents about how my boyfriend feels, but I’m not sure how to approach this sensitive subject.” Keep reading to see how she decided to resolve the issue and find out what her new question for us is.
Fast forward a few months, and I finally realized how unhappy I’ve been in this relationship. I ended things and found a new place to live. I just paid the security deposit on my new place, and I’ll be hiring movers very soon. There was nothing scandalous about the circumstances of our breakup, and communications have been civil and calm. We agreed on how we would split our joint property, which was fair, and we are both happy with the outcome. Unfortunately, we had already purchased airfare to visit my out-of-state family over Christmas.
My ex now wants me to pay the $200 transfer fee for him to put the ticket money towards a different flight, which I should be responsible for because I decided to end our relationship. Has anyone had a similar experience with an ex? I can’t believe we’re having another airfare-related issue. — “Subsidized and Confused”
Since you’ve stated that you both earn good money and that your break up thus far has been civil and calm and you’re both happy with the outcome, I would offer to pay half of the transfer fee — so $100 total — and be done with it so you can both move on. If you split his airfare with him in the first place and he’s planning to transfer the ticket to somewhere else, he’s already getting a deal out of the whole thing. Paying for half the transfer fee is more than fair, and, if he still has a problem with that, oh well. Just make sure you have everything from your breakup that is rightfully yours or that you would want to fight for.
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.