Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Updates: “Suspicious Neighbor” Responds (Again)

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Suspicious Neighbor” whose drunk, pants-less neighbor kept hitting on her husband. She updated us once before, and now she has some more news.

You asked for an update if Ramona and I ever had it out, so here is the update to that.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband had asked a neighbor for some help and Ramona came over as well. While the neighbor was helping my husband, Ramona came up to me while I was sitting in my computer chair and playing with my son. We went into my living room and out of no where, she said “It feels like you hate me and I really don’t want you to. When I drink, I do some crazy things and I don’t want your husband and I do come off strong and I’m sorry.”

I was definitely caught off guard by this straight forward discussion that she initiated. She did apologize for her husband as well because, as she put it, is kind of crazy and has been having some “man issues”. She also said that they’ve been having marital problems and is contemplating divorce for the first time in 10 years. She then invited me over for wine any time I wanted – though I’m quite sure I won’t be taking her up on that offer.

All in all, it was incredibly anti climactic. I have to admit that I am happy that she brought it up and apologized for anything she might have done to offend me. So, to me, it’s water under the bridge, but I’m not going to get super chummy with her.

Again, thanks for your advice on how to deal with the situation. On a side note – Wendy, have you thought about making t-shirts (I would wear one!) with the logo on the mug (that I totally love!) on it?

Hmm, I might make t-shirts. But would anyone buy them (besides Suspicious neighbor)? Unforch, I haven’t made my investment back on the mugs yet — hopeful it will happen eventually… — so I am a little hesitant about creating more DW merchandise if there isn’t enough interest. If people want to weigh in, that would be great. Would you buy a t-shirt? What would it need to be priced at (including shipping) for you to get one?

Re. Ramona, I gotta say, I kinda like her. I mean, I’m glad it’s not my husband she’s draping her pants-less self all over, but you have to admit — she keeps things interesting, right? Plus, I bet she’s got a good supply of wine. And you know what they say about keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. Might not be a terrible idea to stop by for a drink some time…


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.

37 comments… add one
  • LW November 14, 2012, 12:46 pm

    Wendy – she does indeed have a great supply of wine – both red and white. Maybe I should keep her “close” and she does definitely keep things interesting.

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    • Riefer November 14, 2012, 12:53 pm

      Who knows, you guys might even end up being friends! If she’s all messed up about her husband and her marriage, that might explain coming on to other husbands in the neighbourhood. Not that I condone it, but at least it has some kind of reason behind it.

      On the other hand, that doesn’t explain the pantslessness. If you become friends, maybe you could take her pants shopping! Or you could get her one of these:

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      • LW November 14, 2012, 1:01 pm

        Riefer – that shirt is awesome! I LOVE it! Her husband being a bit on the nutty side and marital problems… well, that does explain SO MUCH. There are other things she does that I can’t explain, but I don’t think too much about it. I do feel bad for her at times – I see her often sitting on the front porch smoking and looking very sad. The nice part of me says to go over there, then the little voice asks if there will be drama. The little voice wins most of the time.

      • Taylor November 14, 2012, 2:55 pm

        Riefer, awesome shirt! I went to the bars in Scottsdale, AZ last weekend for a bachelorette party, and I had NO IDEA that the in-thing with the kids these days is to not wear pants. I sound 100 years old, but you can’t even describe the apparel on the bottom half of most of the girls as shorts.

  • Fabelle November 14, 2012, 1:08 pm

    I really like that Ramona came out & said something. I’m kind of… let’s say, demonstrative…when I’ve had too much to drink & now that all these details are coming out, it sounds like that’s the case with Ramona. I agree with Wendy that going over for some wine one night might be a good idea– maybe tell your husband to watch the children for an hour or two 🙂

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  • *HmC* November 14, 2012, 1:25 pm

    I’d totally buy a shirt that said “pantless drunky”.

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    • Jess November 16, 2012, 10:11 am

      This made me lol for about 3 minutes.

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  • theattack November 14, 2012, 1:33 pm

    I’ll buy a mug once I find a job. I honestly didn’t expect them to be $15, but I understand that you don’t really have much control over that. I probably would have bought one already if they were under $10, but I’ll support your merchandise as soon as I can! As far as t-shirts go, I don’t usually pay over $15 or so for a shirt I really really want, but I’m a cheapo. I would stretch to $20, but only for you, Wendy.

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    • Matcha November 14, 2012, 5:40 pm

      I dunno, under $10 is pretty cheap. I expect to pay $10-12 for a mug.

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      • theattack November 14, 2012, 6:09 pm

        Seriously? I have a whole cabinet full of mugs, most of which were $4-5. I would never pay $10 for a cup outside of supporting Wendy and loving DearWendy. I hardly ever pay $10 for clothes outside of dress slacks, good jeans, and boots. Am I the only one who shops like that? Maybe I’m just cheap, but it’s always worked for me. (Wendy, please don’t take offense to this. I absolutely understand that ordering a few specialty mugs is very different from mass-producing mugs in a factory somewhere, and I definitely want to support you when I can.)

      • jlyfsh November 14, 2012, 6:27 pm

        yeah i’m another only spend that much on special things. i’m a bargain shopper though. i try not to pay full price for most things. whether that mean that i wait for a sale, use a coupon, etc. and yeah there isn’t a single mug in my cabinet i paid over 2.99 for. i generally don’t buy a lot of new things either though. i try to shop thrift stores, etc. it freaks some people out, but my collection is eclectic and surprisingly matches! 🙂 my mom has told me more than once i’m cheap, haha. my cheapness has saved me a lot of money over the years!

      • theattack November 14, 2012, 6:34 pm

        Yay! Another frugal DWer! I was just thinking yesterday about how if I keep shopping the way I do, I’m easily saving at least $100 a month from avoiding full priced items even when I’m not in turbo-coupon mode. That $100 can be saved, and I could go on a pretty luxurious vacation every year if I wanted to. Not that I’m going to do that, but it’s amazing what being cheap can do for you.

      • lemongrass November 14, 2012, 6:44 pm

        I’m pretty frugal too 90% of the time. I’ll buy on sale groceries, clothes, etc. and then blow $75 on a manicure a few times a year. I like to think it balances out.

      • jlyfsh November 14, 2012, 7:12 pm

        growing up poor will do that to you! 🙂 but now it’s just as much about saving money as it is the thrill of the chase, haha.

      • KKZ November 15, 2012, 10:42 am

        I’m definitely frugal too! I find myself at the store going “Wow, $8 is a lot for a tube of mascara” or “Twenty-five bucks for jeans? Come on!” and even that is ridiculous because those are sort of the going prices for those items, and $25 are even a little on the cheap side. I definitely learned my shopping habits from my mom, we are both Beeline to the Clearance Racks kind of people. I *always* start with the clearance racks before venturing into the full-price stuff.

        I don’t do coupons, though. Too lazy for that. My grocery store sends me coupons based on what I’ve been using my shopper’s card on, and I do use those because they are for things I already buy regularly and because, hey, they were shipped right to me, no effort needed! But I don’t get the newspaper and am not the type to sit down with advertising flyers or catalogs or whatever and clip coupons. I have enough trouble finding time to do everything in my life that I want to do, saving $0.33 on deodorant or whatever is not worth it to me.

      • lets_be_honest November 15, 2012, 10:48 am

        You pay $10-12 for MUGS?! I have a great collection of coffee mugs, a lot from stores on the more expensive end, or what I consider to be more expensive (I have about 10 from Anthropologie for example). A bunch of souvenir mugs from places I’ve visited (all souvenirs are overpriced). None of them cost that much. Where on earth do you shop that you spend $12 on mugs. Seriously, I’m curious.

    • katie November 14, 2012, 9:58 pm

      to me, its a matter of what your getting. i love being cheap and couponing and getting great deals on stuff, but i also love getting stuff i want/supporting things i love. so, the few mugs i have i actually got for free. but, the dw mug’s cost i do not care about, because its special and something i want AND its supporting something i love. so i dont care.

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  • Christiane November 14, 2012, 1:42 pm

    Does Ramona from Real Housewives NY has a secret life in the suburb?

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  • Amanda November 14, 2012, 1:47 pm

    I wish that I was friends with Ramona. After this update, she sounds like a great person. Besides, I always thought that pants were overrated and I love wine! Call me Ramona!

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  • TaraMonster November 14, 2012, 1:48 pm

    I fucking love Ramona!

    I would totally buy a t-shirt if Ramona’s face was on it. It would be my first ironic accessory for my (potential) new life in Brooklyn. If you’re gonna live amongst the hipsters, you must go incognito, amirite?

    And speaking of my new life- as soon as I’m settled I’m planning on buying a DW mug. I wouldn’t want it to break in the move so soon after I purchased it!

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  • ele4phant November 14, 2012, 1:50 pm

    Ah i feel for the woman. Sounds like life has been rough lately. I think you should hang out with her. It sounds like she could use a friend – one that she won’t come on to. Sounds like she doesn’t really have anyone who wants to talk to her right now aside from passive husbands.

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    • LW November 14, 2012, 1:58 pm

      Honestly, I probably would if she didn’t smoke so much – I’m allergic to it. With everything being water under the bridge, I did actually invite her to my son’s birthday party this weekend. As far as not coming onto… I get the impression she swings both ways, but to each their own.

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      • ele4phant November 14, 2012, 2:35 pm

        Smoking is the worst! I can understand wanting to avoid that. And of course you are under no obligation to be her friend – but it does really sound like she needs one. And if she comes on to you – well sounds like you are the more assertive spouse so you should have no trouble shutting that down.

      • temperance November 14, 2012, 9:35 pm

        I’m pretty smoke allergic, so I get it. Even when they aren’t actively smoking … they reek, lol.

      • haggith November 15, 2012, 3:00 pm

        tell ramona about dear wendy!!! i’d like to hear more from her… she sounds awesome!

  • landygirl November 14, 2012, 2:10 pm

    I’ve got to ask…was she wearing pants at the time?

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    • LW November 14, 2012, 2:23 pm

      I think she was wearing shorts… one step closer to pants! Yay!

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      • MMcG November 14, 2012, 2:44 pm

        I LOVE that your response involves “i think”. Maybe she has an endless supply of bloomers!?!

  • anaira November 14, 2012, 2:31 pm

    Maybe Cafepress would be a good way to sell t-shirts, etc without any up-front investment? I haven’t used it, but from what I’ve heard you can provide a design and anyone can place an order in your shop for items with your design printed on them, then they do the printing and shipping on-demand and you get royalties. You might not make as much per item, but you don’t have to worry about shipping or carrying an inventory.


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  • MiMi November 14, 2012, 2:43 pm

    drunken, inappropriate, and oversharing neighbor – yikes! is there a febreze that works on that?

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  • jlyfsh November 14, 2012, 2:48 pm

    Not many people own up to let alone apologize for their mistakes. It was good of her to acknowledge that she crossed a line. And man I’d definitely cash in on that large supply of wine 😉 You never know maybe she just needs someone to listen. Hopefully she stays fully clothed on her side of the fence from now on, unless invited over(with pants on!) 🙂

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    • GatorGirl November 14, 2012, 3:25 pm

      I was trying to figure out how to say exactly that. Also she might be craving male attention (but not necissarily have bad intentions) which is why she is spending time with your husband. At least it all seems to be working out!

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      • LW November 14, 2012, 3:33 pm

        My husband is a passive person and he doesn’t want anything to do with Ramona, mostly because he is concerned about what her husband might do… for good reason too. For Halloween, he dressed up as Jason (I think, I didn’t see it – was taking the kids trick or treating) with a chainsaw that had no chain. This was his idea of frighteningly good fun for the entire family. I didn’t have to see the chainsaw – I could hear it when I was inside after I got home.

        The husband has made some comments about me and this is incredibly uncomfortable, but I am just pretending I was never told about these comments. I feel bad for her because I can hear them yelling if I’m on the front porch. It’s not a great way to live life, especially for the kids. I don’t mind being a friend to someone when they need it, but kooky husbands that are really aggressive… not sure how to deal with that one.

  • lemongrass November 14, 2012, 3:52 pm

    I’m still not convinced that this isn’t Ramona Quimby all grown up.

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  • katie November 14, 2012, 9:51 pm

    i will buy a tshirt on the condition it is the “fitted womens” style of shirts. thats all i ask. but YES i would buy one! i only bought one mug because my boyfriend told me i should only get one so i can collect all the other ones you might come out with, but now that they might be a single run collectors item… im gonna get another one. haha!

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  • BettyBoop November 14, 2012, 10:06 pm

    Maybe check out Zazzle for making t-shirts? I know The Bloggess uses it and seems to have quite good luck. I would be far more interested in a tee than a mug!

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    • shanshantastic November 15, 2012, 9:05 am

      Agreed – my husband created a few shirts on Zazzle, it cost him nothing, and he’s racking up the profits from it! Every other day he’s like, “I made all this money on Zazzle, what should I buy?”

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