Updates: “Teacher Teacher” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Teacher Teacher,” the English language tutor who was interested in pursuing a relationship with one of her students. Keep reading to see whether they’ve crossed the teacher-student line.

I read all the comments in the thread (btw, many thanks to those who didn’t judge me and encouraged me to make a move). I’d like to state that I’m not teaching my student any more, so I’m not breaking any professional rules.I made a move on him telling him that I like him. He said that he likes me back and that he has wanted to kiss me for ages. The only problem is that he has to leave in late July because he has a job offer in the Middle East. I don’t want any drama, but I fell in love for real. And it’s the first time in two years I’m so crazy about someone. He tried to comfort me saying that he doesn’t know anything about the job yet, and that he might come back, because it might not be his cup of tea, etc… I see that he’s really into me, but he said something like “let’s enjoy the time we have together.”

We made out in his apartment, and eventually had sex. I don’t regret it, but I know that in this situation it’ll hurt me even more, because I got really attached to him, but again I don’t want any drama, and I don’t want to scare him away. It doesn’t seem that he’s toying me, because everything was too sweet and tender for a one night stand.

I know that some of you will probably say that I shouldn’t have done it, but we only live once. Time will tell whether he’s serious about me or not, and of course he wouldn’t say he loves me and things like that because he doesn’t want to get my hopes high.

So that’s it. I have 1.5 months of happiness left before he leaves, and it’s lovely and sad at the same time.

Thank you for attention!


Thanks for the update, and enjoy your time together. You never know what the future holds…

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.


  1. Leroy 2, Love Haters 0

  2. Yeah, you´re setting yourself up for a bit of heartache but I like the motto:
    “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain

    So enjoy the time you have left, guard your feelings a bit and let things happen naturally.

  3. SweetPeaG says:

    This sounds super romantic!
    I know it could lead to heartache, but you do have to just “go for it” every once in a while/ Best of luck!

  4. Jessibel5 says:

    Oh, good, I’m glad this update is about yours and not the other one where the teacher was macking on two students at the same time. I’m glad for you! Enjoy the time you have and if nothing ever comes of it, you can always remember this love affair that you had with your European suitor as a very fond memory! Plus, all the other girls will be jealous because you get to listen to his accent 😉

  5. If it´s any consolation, wages in the Middle East (I suppose it depends which country exactly) are usually pretty high and air fares from there to a lot of places are really cheap- my brother is living in the Middle East this year, and he´s taking advantage of the low airfares to travel all over the place. So if you decide to make it an LDR you might be able to see each other fairly often.

  6. Avatar photo iwannatalktosampson says:

    So I don’t know if I commented on this but I don’t think there was anything wrong with what you were doing at all – but this quote is kind of annoying to me “btw, many thanks to those who didn’t judge me and encouraged me to make a move”

    It reminds me of all the LW’s who write in just to validate their plan – they aren’t really looking for advice – but just for everyone to tell them what they’re doing is okay. Which I guess is fine – but if you already know what you’re going to do why write in? Or even worse the LW’s write in – have 200 comments telling them the same thing – and then cling to the one comment that told them what they wanted to hear.

    But seriously – I’m glad you’re going for it – even if it’s two months – it might be the best two months of your life to date.

  7. ele4phant says:

    Sorry if you felt my comments were judging you. I assumed you were still his teacher in some capacity, and therefore the professionally appropriate thing to do would be not to date him.

    But you’re not, that aspect of your relationship is over, so play-on. Even if you were still his teacher, I wouldn’t fault you for being attracted to him. You’re the same age, it happens. Telling you to worry about your job first is not the same as telling you you are wrong for being attracted to a student.

    Anywhoo…congrats on having the courage to go after a guy you really like. That takes guts! Enjoy what you have together, even if its brief.

  8. Avatar photo GatorGirl says:

    Don’t be scared of a long distance relationship if that’s where this leads you! There are many many relationships that have withstood (and grown emensly) a LDR. My fiance and I had only dated 6 months before we started 3 years of long distance. And now we’re getting married!

    And if it doesn’t lead to a LDR- enjoy your summer love. You only live once 🙂

  9. I love a good summer romance. And in a foreign country with a hot suitor…. nothing better. And we’ve all lived through plenty of heartaches. So you’ll have a bit of a heartache in August – but you’ll remember this June and July for the rest of your life. And heartaches always tend to seem less in hindsight than they feel in real time. Good for you!!!!

  10. Aw, that’s sad. I had the same thing when I was in university, with an exchange student who had to go back at the end of the semester. It’s bittersweet, but we had some great times and I’m glad I did it.

  11. That's_Bananas says:

    I love the Mark Twain quote Cara posted.

    To his point, live it up. Enjoy the hell out of the next two months! I was lucky enough to have a few amazing and awesome summer romances in college and in my 20s. Mine never panned out in the fall, and I’m not saying yours won’t, but I still look back and remember mine with a smile and no regrets. Good luck!

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