Updates: The “Friendly Ex” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today, we hear from “Friendly Ex” who invited the girlfriend of her ex-husband/ father of her 12-year-old daughter to go shopping for a dress for her daughter’s school dance. The girlfriend was offended by the invite and the LW wondered if she overstepped her boundaries. Keep reading for an update.

Shortly after I wrote, I found out I was pregnant. “Brandy” threw a fit and made it all about her and how she couldn’t deal with her boyfriend’s ex-wife being pregnant. Apparently, every time our mutual friends and/or my daughter, Betsy, would mention something about my pregnancy, she would flip out.

At that point I realized that she was just a nutcase and stopped trying to be nice.

The happy news is that she and the ex finally broke up a few weeks ago. He told me after the breakup that she had a drinking problem with a Jekyll/Hyde personality and most of the time he ignored her craziness just to keep the peace. I’m so happy that my daughter doesn’t have to be around that anymore!

Congrats on the pregnancy and clearing your life of the crazy girlfriend! Here’s hoping your ex practices better judgment in the future.


If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at [email protected] with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].


  1. artsygirl says:

    Oh I am so happy that we got an update on this once. I kept feeling like I was missing something or misreading the letter – or that Brandy was just cray cray. In my mind I could have understood that Brandy would have been upset if she was the mother of the girl and that the LW was the stepmother. I would be very annoyed if my ex’s partner took it upon herself to buy my daughter’s first dress but that was not at all the case. Congrats LW on your upcoming baby and I hope your relationship with your ex continues on smoothly.

  2. Congratulations on the baby! It’s nice that this worked itself out. Hopefully, your ex will find someone less crazy next time, since you have to partially deal with it.

  3. Congrats on the pregnancy.

    It’s never easy when the ex-husband finds a crazy partner. Luckily, it was temporary.

  4. Congrats on the baby! I remember how confused I was over this letter. I never got what her problem was. Clearly, this woman is a little nuts, so yay for the problem resolving itself.

  5. Avatar photo theattack says:

    I think I missed this letter when it came out. I can’t understand her issue either. Glad your daughter doesn’t have her around here! You don’t want her using a crazy person as a role model.

  6. I wonder if LW has had any conversation with her ex (whom she seems on nice, friendly terms with – kudos!) about whether or not it was appropriate to have ‘Brandy’ around their daughter in the first place? A secret drinking problem and personality swings along with it? I don’t know…

    But otherwise – I’m so glad this worked out well and congrats on the pregnancy, LW! So much happy news all at once 🙂

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