Updates: “Wants a Second” Responds (Again)

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Wants a Second” who desperately wanted a second baby while her husband did not. “He’s thought a lot about it and he really, really just wants one,” she wrote. “How do you think I should approach convincing him to have a second (if we get lucky again and can have one)? And failing that, how can I move on, not feel resentful, and just find happiness with only three of us?” She updated us once before, a little over a year later, and said that she backed off her husband and gave him space and he eventually decided he wanted to try for a second baby. “I’m almost afraid to have you publish this,” she wrote. “I’m afraid of getting ahead of myself and jinxing the whole thing.” Keep reading to see how things are with her family today:

I was just browsing through your site and came across someone else’s update and thought I should send one while I was thinking about it. I was the writer who wanted a second baby and my husband didn’t. In my last update, I think a little over a year ago, we were going to start trying. Happily and luckily, I got pregnant again very quickly. I gave birth to our second son at the beginning of December and he’s now almost four months old! My husband and I were both excited and nervous when it happened so quickly.

“My Husband Isn’t Ready to Have a Baby, But I’m Becoming Obsessed”

I was worried how he would feel when it was really real and a second baby was on the way, but he was a gem during the pregnancy. I think he has been even more involved and interested than the first time around because he knew what was to come and he’s so in love with our first. It’s been an exhausting four months as it is with a newborn and an adjustment for all of us, especially our first son, but overall the three of us are thrilled with our new family member. He’s a sweet, chunky, smiley guy and we feel really complete.

My husband has been rock solid and taking on a lot of the work with our first, which he’s very happy about. Our first guy has always been a total momma’s boy, but with the addition of his brother, he’s relying more on his dad and that has thrilled my husband. We’re definitely feeling the intensity of two and have our good and bad days, but it’s also great and neither of us has any doubts or regrets.

I also feel completely and happily done with having kids. The second pregnancy took its toll on me — I think being three years older and getting closer to 40 — and I’m ready to move on and enjoy my two boys as they grow up. And get back in my pre-pregnancy clothes and stay there.

Thanks for all the advice from you and your readers at the time. It really helped me sort through my feelings and find some peace.

Hope all is well with your family of four!

Thank you for your updates, and congratulations on your new baby and having your family complete!

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If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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2 Comments

Juliecatharine says:

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Congrats on the new addition OP!

Northern Star says:

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What a great update. So nice to hear that everything is working out! 🙂