It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Worried Sister,” who was concerned about how her mildly mentally challenged brother was looking for girlfriends. Keep reading to see how they’re both doing.
Thanks so much to you and the DW Community for your understanding and insight.
I wanted to address some things that I saw mentioned. First off, my main worry for my brother is the legal ramifications of him getting caught having explicit conversations with girls who may be underage. I may be wrong, but it’s my understanding that even if they lie about their age, he is still the one in deep trouble if he were to get caught.
Another thing that was big on the post: no, my parents did not give him the sex talk. So I have. Many, many times, just to be 100% sure that he gets it. He hates it, but I’d rather him feel a bit of awkward embarrassment than come home with an STD or a pregnant girlfriend. He may gripe, but at least he knows all about condoms and why to always wear one!
I am absolutely not concerned about him being a threat to a woman. He comes off as super clingy when he likes a girl and I know it has turned some girls way off to him. That’s what I meant by “aggressive.”
So anyway, for an update: A few days after I sent my letter in to Wendy, he and I were talking about his desire for a girlfriend when he suddenly burst into tears over his ex. I had to explain to him that if he is still so broken up over her to the point that he cries, then he simply isn’t ready to date anyone new. Personally, I have never been dumped, so I can’t really empathize with him on that end. I can, however, tell him what it’s like to be with a guy who is still not over his ex. That’s no treat. He disagrees about being ready, but I think I got him to at least see my point. I did promise him that in the event that he finds a girl he likes, I will do what I can to guide him out of Creep-ville.
He was also worried about being 21 and being so inexperienced. I did explain to him that everyone moves at his or her own pace and rushing himself will do way more harm than good. My brother is very headstrong, but I’m hoping what I said sank in.
So thanks again, Wendy, and the very awesome DW community. ♥
Thanks for the update. You sound like a great sister and your brother is lucky to have you!
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
Taylor May 24, 2012, 12:05 pm
You are a terrific sister! I hope your brother heeds your advice, heals, and finds someone wonderful!
JK May 24, 2012, 12:10 pm
Love the update. LW, sounds like your brother is very lucky to have you. 🙂
caitie_didn't May 24, 2012, 12:35 pm
Awww, you are such a great sister! I’m sure your brother is equally awesome and he’ll meet someone in time.
Sunshine Brite May 24, 2012, 1:15 pm
Such a good sister!
Caris May 25, 2012, 12:27 pm
About inexperience. My brother is 25, never had a gf. And he is NOT mentally challenged, so yeah.
SpyGlassez May 25, 2012, 7:21 pm
I was 28 when I started dating my first “real” boyfriend. Nothing wrong with taking one’s own time.