Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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  • in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #1007254
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Yeah, this is an especially dangerous time because states are relaxing mitigation (opening schools, opening up more for indoor dining, etc) at the same time that transmission is picking up, a new much more contagious variant is spreading in the US (and projected to be the main strain by march), and when covid fatigue is at an all-time high (understandable after TEN FUCKING MONTHS OF THIS SHIT) and people are letting their guards down. This is not the time to let guards down. This is the time to double down on precautions and summon all the reserves, support, whatever you need to bear down and get through these remaining few months.

    My prediction is it’s going to get worse before it gets better. How worse and for how long will depend on people’s behavior and how quickly the new administration can get the vaccine out. Hopefully, we’re just looking at an awful February and then maybe by early or mid-march we start seeing the effects of mass vaccination in quickly lowering case numbers, hospitalizations, and deaths. We are already seeing a slight dip in hospitalizations in the past few days, but I suspect that’s only temporary and we’ll see a huge surge in coming weeks as that new variant takes hold.

    Hang in there, everyone. As the saying goes, it’s always darkest before the dawn. But dawn is coming!! It’s not far off now.

    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #1007231
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Agree with Kate here. I think your mental health needs immediate attention and that’s understandable. A lot of us have been really struggling (myself included). But the issue is clouding your judgment. Being inside a bar right now is not safe, performing indoors is not safe, having family travel to see you is not safe, going to a wedding is absolutely not safe. And it’s not that it’s not just safe for YOU; it’s not safe for anyone who isn’t vaccinated.

    While I do think it was harsh of your friend to unfriend you over your pictures, I do understand her frustration. When you say “it’s MY life,” that’s only partly true. It’s all of our lives. The behavior of others is and has affected all of us. I get annoyed when I see photos of people doing things I am currently sacrificing for my well-being but also for the good of everyone. I haven’t unfriended anyone I’m close to but I’ve unfriended acquaintances. Like Kate said, we’re all on edge. It’s not just you. This is very hard for all of us. Is it harder for you? Well, you’re immunocompromised and you live alone, so it’s probably very scary AND even more isolating than those of us who live with others (Which, to be honest, can be its own hell sometimes…), so your feelings are 100% understandable and valid. But when the feelings are clouding your judgment, tempting you to engage in reckless behavior, or making it hard for you to get out of bed, it’s probably time to get some help dealing with them. Are you currently in therapy? I can’t remember. If so, talk to your therapist or healthcare provider to see if they recommend a short-term Rx of something or some other treatment to keep you stable in these final weeks before you get your vaccine.

    Also for what it’s worth, a former (maybe current? haven’t seen her post in a long time) DW reader is now fully vaccinated and she told me that she’s still not going to her sibling’s wedding in a couple months. Why? Well, probably because she doesn’t want to support such a reckless decision to hold a wedding right now but also because we don’t know yet whether the vaccine stops transmission of the virus in addition to dramatically reducing illness and death from it. Just something else to keep in mind for when you do get vaccinated. You’ll be much, much safer, but you could still pose a risk to others. Anyway, I share this because again, this is someone fully vaccinating not going to a sibling’s wedding. You should not, as an immunocompromised unvaccinated person even entertain the idea of going to a friend’s sibling’s wedding right now.

    You might want to get a covid test this week, too.

    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster
    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #1000441
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    LadyE, I don’t wear liquid foundation either. I have some – the same bottle I’ve had for years, which is probably gross, and I put it on maybe twice a year and always hate it. I do wear liquid concealer under my eyes though pretty much daily.

    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #993864
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    I’m really sorry to hear about the teacher/school staff deaths, Helen. We lost a teacher at my kids’ school in March – the first teacher in NYC to die of covid – and it was such a shock and a heartbreak for the community. I’ve been so concerned about teachers since the school year started and now especially so as cases across the country skyrocket and we have this new, much more contagious, variant spreading. I don’t know what to do but to express condolences and hope your community doesn’t experience more school-related covid deaths.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by avatarDear Wendy.
    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by avatarDear Wendy.
    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #993011
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Sending kids to school right now isn’t a great idea if people have any kind of flexibility not to.

    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #992869
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    I get feeling frustrated with teachers going to NYE parties, but when they are told that it’s safe for them to gather with 20 or 30 kids in poorly-ventilated classrooms where they remove their masks to eat lunch, it’s probably a hard spill to swallow that gathering indoors with friends and family *isnt* safe. You really can’t say one kind of mass indoor gathering is fine (it’s not) but another is reckless.

    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #980495
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    LadyE, are you sure mixing that many households (essentially four, since your sister will be in the bubble, even if you aren’t seeing her) for indoor mea is wise given that you are so high risk? My family is not high risk and we will not be seeing relatives – my BIL and his family – who live 45 minutes away (nor did we see them for Thanksgiving). We all have our own risk threshold, and I know LOTS of people are ignoring advice to the contrary and mixing households this week but you’ve been so cautious that I worry you might be letting your guard down because it’s Christmastime. Your sister will have just seen your parents, she works in healthcare (potentially around sick people, yes?). Did she take off work and quarantine for two weeks and then take a test and wait for a negative result before seeing your parents? Have you parents been absolutely quarantined for two weeks and will they and your sister remain quarantined the whole time she’s visiting? Has your boyfriend been quarantining for two weeks before getting his test? And then will he wait for a negative and quarantine while he waits and then drive straight to your place without going anywhere else on the way (stores, etc)?

    These are all things experts are advising is you are mixing households indoors right now. That’s the advice for the general public. The advice for people who are high risk is to not mix households with anyone else because it is just too damn risky right now. We hit a record yesterday for hospitalizations. I would not be surprised if we hit a new record today for deaths. Please be very careful. I know this is hard – my children haven’t seen their only living grandparents in ten months, the haven’t been inside a school in nine months, this is HARD – but we have just a few more months to go before wide-scale vaccinations happen, and you will probably get to be vaccinated even earlier. Hang in there.

    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #973008
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    So glad to hear your wife is better, Fyodor and I hope you recover swiftly, too. Your anxiety is understandable.

    in reply to: Neighbors that are hypocrites #970372
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster
    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #968920
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    So sorry to hear this, Fyodor! I hope your wife’s case is mild and that you and your daughter are spared.

    It’s so scary how much covid there is right now and how even if you are, as you say, living like a monk, you can still be infected. It feels really unfair. You guys are doing everything right and yet…

    in reply to: Should we save the marriage? #968248
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster
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