Forum Replies Created
April 20, 2023 at 5:54 pm in reply to: Am I overreacting? #1119762
Your feelings are valid, but not worth acting on. Don’t assume he’s doing anything malicious, he’s probably just a funny guy. You just need to sit with your feelings a bit and work through it.
Besides, how would that conversation even go?
“Your boyfriend was making the kids laugh!”
“While I was driving!”
It’s normal to feel a little twinge of jealousy, but this is a you issue and not a conflict.April 20, 2023 at 5:48 pm in reply to: How do I tell friend about the aro/ace spectrum? #1119761
I concur with everyone else. This is not your conversation to have with this person.
I’m more replying because the issue with the site entering login seems to be worsening. Before I logged in the, name field not only populated “@Anonymousse”, it actually seemed to populate her Email Address? I can’t confirm that without publishing the email address that came up, but I thought I would bring it up since it seems like a pretty big security concern.April 10, 2023 at 8:00 pm in reply to: Neutral advice needed #1119594
Your mom is absolutely in the wrong to guilt you. You do not owe her an explanation. You don’t have to have a relationship with her at all if she just makes you feel bad.April 1, 2023 at 10:25 am in reply to: Is this a date? #1119453
Please put this guy out of his misery and ask him out already!March 26, 2023 at 11:54 am in reply to: Did I do something wrong by rejecting my best friend? #1119341
First off, if it’s an option, therapy.
“I’m a terrible person and I don’t deserve to be her friend, let alone her boyfriend.”
You’re not a terrible person for acknowledging what you want (to not be her boyfriend). That this is your first thought suggests deeper issues.
I get that you feel bad, but you didn’t do anything wrong. If you would have agreed to be her boyfriend when you didn’t want to be, you’d have been lying to her. That’s worse.
Sometimes we get crushes and ask people out, and are disappointed with the answer. It sucks but it’s a part of life. Your friend will need to work her way through it. It’s hard to hear but it’s not your responsibility to guide her through this process. I know you want to help (Because you’re a good caring person) but you literally cannot. You are the worst person on earth to help her through this.
Give her some time to adjust to the new status quo, and keep reminding yourself YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. She will either accept the new reality as new friends, or decide that she can’t be friends with you right now because it’s painful for her. Let the ball be in her court.March 22, 2023 at 9:34 pm in reply to: Sent her a text tonight #1119244
If she didn’t text back, she’s not interestedMarch 20, 2023 at 6:27 pm in reply to: “Is He My FWB Or Something More?” #1119220
If you want to be perpetually unfulfilled in this relationship, keep seeing him. If you want to eventually be totally heartbroken when he meets someone he actually wants to be in a relationship with, keep seeing him.
If you want literally anything else, move on. It’s never going to get any better than it is currently with him.March 9, 2023 at 12:42 pm in reply to: “He Wants to Get Back With His Ex” #1119073
I’m on team “tell him”.
Don’t expect anything to come of it. But if he sees you as a serious friend, and you suddenly stop talking to him if and when he gets back with his ex, he deserves to know a reason why.
If the sexes were reversed, we’d be coming down on the guy for only being in a friendship because there’s a chance they might hook up. There’s a lot of valid reasons it’s not the same when you flip the sexes, but the guys feelings do deserve some consideration, and I think he deserves to know the truth behind why you were friends one day and the next you weren’t.March 7, 2023 at 2:14 pm in reply to: Dating seems hard these days #1119043
Yeah my dude. Women are judgemental and paranoid of men, but it’s out of necessity.
Women on dating apps are subject to a constant stream of duds. They range from guys whose conversation skills are limited to the word “hey” to unsolicited dick picks to straight up stalkers. Women have to have their guards up out of necessity.
My best advice for a man seeking out women on a dating app is to be patient. When you initiate conversation, do so specifically. You can’t just say “what’s up” and expect that to be enough. Find someone you have a mutual interest with and start a genuine conversation.
An online message of “sup” is the equivalent of hoping to make a connection with a stranger while shopping. Don’t hold your breath.
Don’t be hurt if you don’t get a response immediately. Remember women are likely sifting through dozens of messages on a daily basis.
Don’t take it personally if you don’t get a response at all.March 6, 2023 at 4:15 pm in reply to: Ignoring and insults #1119029
Just because I think it’s important to recognize where your self esteem is at: You just apologized for wasting our time.
No. Just no.
Nobody is forcing us to come onto this website and listen to you. No one has a gun to our head and is making us try to get through to you. Nobody here is actually employed by this website except for Wendy (and maybe Kate? I’m not sure what the arrangement is beyond Wendy is the boss and Kate is the deputy)
Most of us are here because we want to be here. We are here because we all know what it’s like to be low. We’re here because we want to be.
And you think you’re so unworthy of love, that you’re not even worth the time it takes for people offer advice to you on a volunteer online-advice forum.
I’m here to tell you that it’s just not true. You’re a worthy person. You deserve a better life than what you currently have. You’re entitled to it. You don’t deserve to have anyone say mean things about you. You don’t deserve to say mean things about yourself.
So please, follow Kate’s advice and get the ball rolling on getting serious mental help.March 5, 2023 at 12:50 am in reply to: Guy asked me out and now makes me feel bad for saying no. #1118966
He’s using his depression as a weapon to try to manipulate you into a relationship.
Don’t let him hide behind his autism. He knows what he’s doing.
Break off contact as much as you are able, and be thankful you never did actually start dating him.
Don’t feel bad. You’ve done him a favor by teaching a valuable lesson about love-bombing and moving too fast. If you acquiesce to his depression-temper-tantrum, you will just teach him that it’s an effective strategy, and he will continue doing it. The absolute best thing you can do for him is to not date him and not talk to him.March 5, 2023 at 12:43 am in reply to: Ignoring and insults #1118965
This cycle is going to continue to repeat, and every time it repeats it’s going to get a little bit worse.
He’ll become distant.
You’ll blame yourself.
You’ll try to get in his good graces again to get his approval because it’s the only thing that makes you feel worthy.
He’ll do something abusive.
He’ll apologize and make you feel bad for being mad at him.
Your relationship today is the best it will ever be. If that doesn’t terrify you, I don’t know what will.