Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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Viewing 4 posts - 85 through 88 (of 88 total)
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  • in reply to: I have a MAJOR crush on my married boss! #337834

    @Bubbles, the reason your Irish friend had not heard of Irish twins….

    I’m pretty sure that the phrase ‘Irish Twins’ is an ethnic/religious slur against the Irish.

    Irish twins has to do with the fact that many Irish immigrants often had large families, sometimes with many of the children close together. So it became a way for non-Irish, Protestants to poke fun at the poor, illiterate Irish teeming on the American shores.

    You can Google the ethnic/religious slurs && treatment leveled at the Irish during their mass migration to the U.S from about the late 1800’s to the turn of the century.
    A lot of times in the U.S. we grow up hearing things that are clearly slurs and we don’t even think about their origins. I can think of quite a few slurs that people (to this day) still say and act like it’s not a big deal.
    1. jew someone down, jew someone
    2. gyp, jip someone
    3. Indian giver
    4. Paddy wagon
    5. The use of the N-word in any context
    6. Redskin
    7. Beaner or wetbacks

    Just saying… don’t continue to perpetuate the stereotypes.

    in reply to: I have a MAJOR crush on my married boss! #335120

    But even if they got a divorce, he still wouldn’t be in a great space to have a relationship with you. You would essentially be the rebound or the booty call while he was getting over is divorce.
    At this point, no one can tell you how you feel about him but I will say (as someone who’s been there) don’t get involved with him physically or emotionally. Keep your relationship professional and focus on yourself, your life, and your goals and you will find that you won’t be nearly so attracted to him as time passes.

    in reply to: I have a MAJOR crush on my married boss! #335096

    Ok, I can try. 🙂
    She could end up in a bad spot for a number of reasons. First, he’s your manager so the power dynamic in a relationship with him will never be equal. He has the ability to fire you if the ‘relationship’ goes sour or at least make your life a living hell at work. You also don’t want your co-workers to start gossiping about your relationship. It’s absolutely horrible to hear people say that the only reason you achieved X is because you slept with the boss (and trust me, they always say that).
    Secondly, he’s married. You seriously don’t want to be the other woman because when it all comes out, he’ll likely stay with his wife and then you are going to be really pissed and bitter about the situation. Even if he left his wife for you, you wouldn’t ever be able trust him. I always tell friends that are in this situation…if you met him when he was cheating on another woman then you don’t get to be surprised or hurt when he cheats on you because you knew who he was.
    Sarah seems like she might be young, so all of this could just be “OMG-my-boss-is-sooooo-hot & cool-for-an-old-dude”, because we’ve all been there. She just shouldn’t act on those raging young adult/teen hormones and she will be fine. Back in the day, when I was in the military…I had the HOTS for one of my drill sergeants. Seriously, I couldn’t even talk to him because I was so sure that my clothes would fall off in his mere presence. 😉 It was crazy but shortly after I left basic training, I was over him. I think I was so drawn to him because he was a grown up doing grown up things (raising a family and working on a career) and the young men I knew and dated weren’t yet at that level. That and the fact, that I love a physically fit man in uniform. 
    Sarah, it will be hard but don’t get into a physical or emotional relationship with him. Just figure out WHY you are attracted to him and then look for that (assuming it’s a healthy trait) in other relationships with men who are available to date you.

    in reply to: I have a MAJOR crush on my married boss! #335074

    To me, you shouldn’t automatically strike him from your mind and feel guilty that you were attracted to him. Attraction is as natural as breathing and is grounded in evolution. I feel like on an instinctual level we are attracted to people who complement us in some way. The trick is figuring out why you are attracted to them before you act on the attraction.
    Try to figure out what it is about him that you find so engrossing, sexy, etc. Is it because he seems like a stable family man and you want that? Does he seem just more mature than the guys you normally date? Is he nice and considerate and that really appeals to you? There has to be something that is subconsciously making an impression on you.
    I think once you figure out what it is that is attracting you to him, you will be able to get your crush on him under control. You will realize it isn’t really him that you’re attracted to but a particular (or several) quality that he possesses then you can look for those qualities in men who are available to date you.
    FWIW, I think all or most of us have been in similar situations and we are trying to guide you away from putting yourself into a bad spot.

Viewing 4 posts - 85 through 88 (of 88 total)