Copa

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    January 5, 2018 at 11:59 am #735053

    An acquaintance of mine got married on the beach in a big ballgown. One of the photos I saw after the wedding was her and her now-husband IN the water (made mid-shin deep) while she was still in her poofy gown. To each their own, I suppose, but it seemed like an odd choice in dresses given the venue.

    Re: former boss. It’s not even (just) the age difference. My former supervisor is kind of a mess. He announced his divorce at work in September, so who even knows if it’s finalized yet. He bought a house with this woman. He has three teenager kids with his first wife, the oldest of whom has behavioral problems. He seems to do his best as a dad, spending many weekends traveling out of state to be with his kids (his only redeeming quality in my book!), but was downright nasty about his first wife. Even if I’d liked him as a person, it’s so hard for me to imagine being on a date with someone like him and thinking, “Yes, this is a good idea.” I wouldn’t touch baggage like his with a 10-foot pole.

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    January 5, 2018 at 10:51 am #735042

    Anyone remember my jerkface boss from my last job? He is in his late 40s, and got divorced from his second wife this past summer/fall after about six months of marriage. I found out he’s dating a 27-year-old and apparently bragging about it, and how young she is, up and down the office to anyone who will listen. I’m not surprised he’s dating someone so much his junior, but cannot fathom what anyone — particularly women close to my age — see in him as a romantic partner. I see a bully and a train wreck. I’ve been reading Lean In this past week, and I’ve actually been thinking of him/that job a lot as I read it.

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    January 4, 2018 at 5:33 pm #734998

    @veritek33 YAY! That’s a good update! I’m legit convinced I’m never going to have a boyfriend again and that it’s just gonna be few-months-and-out relationships until I die.

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    January 2, 2018 at 3:44 pm #734801

    @hfantods Most dogs LOVE just about everyone, so you’ll be fine meeting the family dog. Last night, my doorbell kept buzzing at all hours of the night. I started getting nervous — I live in a courtyard building on an elevated first floor, and last fall saw a man who seemed mentally unwell lurking in my courtyard several times (once at night near an elevated first floor apartment’s window, even though I don’t think he was looking in) — but my dog kept running to my front door to say “HI, HI, HI!!!” to whoever it was outside. I had this moment of, “If someone breaks in and kills me, my dog would happily make his new home with them anyway.” Because that’s how friendly dogs are.

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    January 2, 2018 at 2:01 pm #734786

    That’s a great dress and at a great price! And your tan looks great, too!

    I’ve met some guys who HATE cats. (I’m sure there are women out there who are like this, too.) I understand not wanting to run out and get one, or even liking them, but I don’t understand the hatred. Like on dating profiles, I’ll sometimes see comments about cats being dealbreakers (and NOT because of allergies). I’m a huge animal person, so pretty much anyone I date can’t dislike animals (I want ALL THE PETS), and obviously I couldn’t handle someone who is mean to animals (or even mean about mine). I seriously considered dumping an ex of mine because he thought pitbulls are inherently bad/mean/aggressive dogs. It was one of my “I should’ve known!” after we broke up.

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    January 2, 2018 at 10:37 am #734743

    That’s a pretty dress, @TheHizzy!

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    December 29, 2017 at 12:42 am #734116

    Quick update re: the guy who will work on his athleticism for me (heh): early September, he commented on a photo of mine that I look gorgeous. Late September he finally sent me a message: three blowing kisses emoji (nothing else). Then the message I pasted on the last page a little over a week ago. Then tonight, “I like you so much” with the heart eyes emoji. I’ve never responded. WTF.

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    December 28, 2017 at 11:44 pm #734111

    Everything he wrote in that message strikes me as odd. Of the three messages he sent, his first is self-deprecating and his second is red-flaggy. Seems like a Nice Guy (TM). I’ve only gotten one “DTF?” message on Match, and yeah, it’s kinda sad that anyone would pay to do that. I get frustrated that it’s a platform where people write out full profiles, yet I still get a ton of “Hey, sup?” first messages, and even more that Match suggests as openers. (Always the same formula. “Hi there. I see you like [interest from Match’s checklist]. [Question about interest here]?”) My expectations aren’t that high, but c’mon, it’s not THAT hard to read someone’s profile and write a few genuine sentences about it.

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    December 28, 2017 at 12:53 pm #734080

    Just logged into Match for the first time in awhile and received this message:

    “I’m not really adventurous and I can work on my athleticism, but I’m a really nice guy. My ex thought I was a decent kisser, but she was a little crazy, so I can’t go by what she thought! Anyways you are very attractive and you have great fashion style!”

    LOL.

    Another guy sent me the same messages three times in a row to let me know he is “a tax attorney involved with horses” and give me his number.

    I can’t believe I am paying for this crap.

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    December 28, 2017 at 12:25 pm #734078

    @veritek33 It was SO creepy! I obviously don’t think Debra deserved what happened to her (or her family) at all, but I was so exasperated with her. Some of her actions were breathtakingly stupid, and I wondered where she was at mentally/emotionally that she couldn’t see through him. (I would’ve blocked his creeper ass after how their first date ended.) But since so many women fell for John, I do believe he was as charming as she says. Which is scary. And so is knowing that people like John exist. Online dating seems pretty mainstream now, but I think it generally has a reputation for being less safe. I disagree that it’s inherently less safe, but knowing the advantages it has for psychopaths like John is unnerving. On a happier note, I love that there are people like Skylar Sepulveda out there — and she was only 14!

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    December 27, 2017 at 5:12 pm #732402

    Also, off topic, but has anyone else listened to the podcast Dirty John? It’s a true crime story of a romance that started online. The guy is a con and a creep, and lied (a LOT!) to many women. I listened to the whole thing on my drive home, and it was riveting and astonishing and horrifying in so many ways.

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    December 27, 2017 at 3:31 pm #732394

    @Ale I think the holidays are really lonely for a lot of people. I spent Christmas with just my nuclear family (extended family lives far away) and my parents are separated and don’t get along. It’s our first holiday season with them living separately, but we still got together as a family for dinners and it was incredibly awkward. I felt lonely. I think it’s normal (or at least within the realm of normal). So I try not to spend too much time thinking about what other people are doing or on social media, cause I know it’ll make me feel worse. I’m trying to use my days off of work to do stuff that makes me happy. For me, that’s watching cheesey movies I love (Legally Blonde is playing in the background as I write this and unpack), cooking, playing with my pup. I’ll likely sign up to volunteer at the animal rescue once or twice. I just got back into the city I live in, and it’s COLD (omg is it cold), so I’m pretty happy to hibernate. So, yeah, basically it’s okay to feel lonely, but try not to focus on how merry everyone else seems (cause chances are, they’re not all merry all the time) and treat yo-self.

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