Copa

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    September 27, 2017 at 4:26 pm #719053

    At least for me, physical attraction is either there or it’s not. I’ve had several guys grow on me before, and I thought they were total babes *after I got to know them*, but that’s limited to guys I’ve met organically, and who I didn’t meet/get to know with the intention of dating. If you met this guy online, maybe give it another date, but I do think that if you’re not there yet, you’re unlikely to get there in one more date.

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    September 27, 2017 at 2:50 pm #719046

    @hfantods You’re not sure you’re attracted to him in what sense? I’ve met guys I find very physically attractive, but in terms of personality/emotional connection, there’s not much going on. I’ve also experienced the opposite, where I enjoy the personality but am not physically attracted to them. Both are necessary, imo, and, I dunno, I think I’d be inclined to walk away if I didn’t feel attracted to someone after six dates.


    @shakeourtree
    This happened to a friend of mine! She met a great guy she hit it off with online not long before she was moving 3,000 miles away for a four-month-long internship. They vaguely kept in touch while she was away. She dated other people. He likely did, too. When she moved back, they started dating and two years later, they’re still going strong! I’ll be shocked if they don’t get married.

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    September 27, 2017 at 10:16 am #719010

    I, too, have worried about the background check for no reason. For the job that required a move across state lines, they also checked to make sure I had my J.D. (not a hard requirement of the job but definitely preferred). After I’d given my notice, the final thing they were waiting on was hearing back from my school to verify that yes, I’d graduated. Annnd I even worried about that! Anxiety is weird!

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    September 27, 2017 at 9:56 am #719003

    Yeah, I still want to see A.T. again. This will be the first time I’ve ever dated two people at once. I guess I just feel like with online dating, they always disappear. It doesn’t matter if it’s been one date or sometimes even a few months. So for now I’ll just see how things go with both, and which one disappears.

    I am ALWAYS convinced I imagined my job offers and compulsively review them. Like I think leading up to every time I’ve given notice, I’ll sit and review the details of the job offer just one more time to make sure it’s real. I’ve worried endlessly about offers being rescinded after I put in my notice, even though I’d guess that’s pretty rare. I remember when I moved to my current city — I moved a couple states — and I remember worrying that I would show up to the office on the first day and that there wouldn’t be a job for me, and that I’d have uprooted my life for nothing.

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    September 27, 2017 at 9:21 am #718999

    @TheLadyE That sounds great! I would be too terrified to do an open mic night, so I’m super impressed and glad you’re throwing yourself into something you enjoy post-breakup.


    @TheHizzy
    Ex sounds like a delight… yikes.

    @Veritek When do you start the new job? I’m excited for you! Once I got past the initial PTSD-like feeling that my last job gave me, my mood improved drastically when I got out of a job I hated.

    My date last night was really fun! In some ways, I had preconceived notions about what this guy was going to be like from texting, and it was a little weird when he wasn’t what I was expecting in some ways. But he was so friendly and chatty and just a jolly guy. He gave me the warmest hug hello! He was super easy to talk to. We got tapas and drank a bottle of wine, then went to a bar near my place for another round. (I drank too much, ooooops.) I didn’t invite him inside, but he met my puppy. He was fairly forward and we kissed more than I’ve ever kissed anyone on a first date (at the restaurant, then at the bar, then made out while we waited for his Lyft). Anyway, he wants to go out again this weekend and I’m up for that!

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    September 26, 2017 at 9:58 am #718868

    @veritek33 Woohoo, sealing the deal! Proud of you! 😉 Haha. (Meant in the least creepy way possible!) Seven dates is basically a LTR to me these days. I spy a thread success in the making… 🙂

    I’m really excited for my date tonight. I know having a good rapport over text means literally nothing, but… it feels so natural over text. I don’t normally like texting dates beforehand, partially because it sets the expectation too high. But, part of it is also that it’s always small talk, and I don’t find the conversations engaging or interesting. It’s oh-so-very-boring to me to text a stranger. We’ve been texting on and off daily, and it feels like chatting with an old friend. Anyway. I’ll report back tomorrow if/when everything comes crashing down and you guys can all remind me why my not excessively texting is a good thing. Until then, it’s actually kinda nice to not be dreading my evening.

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    September 25, 2017 at 11:54 am #718514

    @TheHizzy Part of the reason I’d shy away from dating someone who has kids — other than the fact that I’m “meh” about kids — is what you’re going through: The ex will always be in the picture if there is a co-parenting relationship. I’m sure there are plenty of examples where this all works out quite nicely and all the parents/adults get along, but there’s also the chance of becoming embroiled in ex drama.

    So over the weekend, my cousin came to visit (and we ran a half marathon in a heat wave, and it sucked!). Awkward Texter and I tried to schedule a sorta impromptu date last night and just couldn’t get it together. We were both tired. He had just come back from a trip and wanted to see me, but I had my cousin with me until her flight left late in the evening. Since we were both exhausted and the timing was bad, we had to postpone. Hopefully soon, though!

    Tomorrow night I have a first date with a new guy — let’s call him Constant Texter — and I’m actually excited. (Wish I wasn’t because I prefer having low/no expectations.) We seem to have a lot in common. So we’ll see how it goes! We’re going to a wine/tapas bar.

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    September 21, 2017 at 9:49 am #717814

    Oooh. Yeah. @TheHizzy Ex sounds like a doozie! Sorry you have to deal with that. There are worse things than a gap year, but if it’s cause the mom didn’t file her taxes and can’t get financial aid!? That’s irresponsible on her part, so a gap year may not even be what her kid wants! Are you guys living together/how would you feel if the kid had to move in with you guys? (I’m always curious about the dynamics of your relationship with your boyfriend’s kids because of how I feel about kids. I’ve wondered if I could deal with a partner with kids from a previous relationship, and older kids do sound less stressful. Until something like this happens, I suppose.)

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    September 20, 2017 at 4:45 pm #717708

    Yeah, the past couple months have been quite busy for me, so I feel overwhelmed right now adding a puppy into the mix — but things should die down in a couple weeks with my last work trip. Then we’ll sign up for Polite Puppy class that I’m sure will benefit both of us. My neighbor sent me the cutest picture updates on their afternoon walk. I’m so happy he wasn’t alone in his crate all day.

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    September 20, 2017 at 4:17 pm #717703

    Tell us more about this wine culture at work! My company has a lot of alcohol in the work fridge, but we’re not like one of those “cool” companies that has a beer cart come around at 4 p.m. or whatever.

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    September 20, 2017 at 3:55 pm #717697

    @Rangerchic He’s a shaggy mop! He’s some kind of poodle mix — they think Aussiedoodle but you never really know with rescues! (If you search for Alive Rescue Chicago on Facebook, they recently posted a picture of his sister Cleo being adopted. He looks very similar.) He’s adorable. I’m doing the foster-to-adopt thing, so he’s still not mine-mine. A little nervous he’s going to grow up to be huge. Things are going alright so far. We’ve already had a few accidents, and he seems to have a favorite spot on one of my rugs, so I’m going to clean it as thoroughly as I can tonight then roll it up and store it for awhile. He’s maybe 4-5 months old, so… accidents happen! I bought a new odor eliminator product for carpet and wee-wee pads during my lunch break. I really didn’t want a puppy (we can’t help who we fall in love with, amirite!?), so I’m hoping the rest of his puppy months aren’t awful. My neighbor also has a dog and is also single so we’re basically now BFF and trying to help one another out with our fur babies as much as possible. We have opposite work schedules and came up with a walk schedule so that neither of us has to hire a walker, which is honestly a huge relief.

    Side note: The guy I just started talking to last night, one of the companies he works with sponsors my rescue. It’s not a huge organization and isn’t well-known, even in my city (although oddly enough an out-of-state DW-er had heard of them and mentioned it once on this thread!). Turns out, he likes going to their events and is also involved with them. It’s a small thing, and at the end of the day means very little about how we’ll get along in person, but it seems like he may be somewhat of a missed connection.

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    September 20, 2017 at 3:14 pm #717688

    Congrats, @Veritek! 🙂

Viewing 12 posts - 1,897 through 1,908 (of 2,365 total)