Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Hazel

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 42 total)
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  • in reply to: Depression #1031253
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    Are there any helplines available for you to call? I don’t know what is available near you, but even if the helpline doesn’t seem to you to exactly fit your situation, they will know who to refer you to so you have someone to talk you through leaving this situation. Womens’ shelters as already mentioned would be a good starting point.

    in reply to: Overreacting? #1030704
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    I think it is wonderful what you are doing for your mother, and I was wondering if it was the corona virus which prevented him from spending more time with you as you do your caring duties, but it seems that isn’t the case. It does sound like he knew exactly what he was getting into as you were very honest with him, but found that he just couldn’t handle the reality of it.Give him his couple of weeks to think about the reality, and see where you both stand after you have had time to reconsider.It’s a tough situation and he may just not be the right person.I realise that getting care respite just now is especially hard, but it might be worth you spending the fortnight considering ways to get even a little assistance in, for yourself most of all as you must be utterly exhausted.

    in reply to: Looks of SO #1030627
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    in what way do you think this is complex? I can’t see any complexity here. After you free this woman with the “awesome character” so that she can have an opportunity to meet someone who will properly appreciate her, take time to reflect and develop some maturity.Whoever you go out with, you will constantly see more attractive people, and unless you learn to deal with this your relationships will always be lacking.

    in reply to: “No Valentines card or gift” #1030488
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    Right enough that does make more sense.I was thinking that he was being very flash treating the lot of them.

    in reply to: “No Valentines card or gift” #1030486
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    Ah, so he anticipated shelling out £600-800 on a fancy meal but that fell through, I can see why he may not have planned another big purchase, if that meal with friends (are you in NZ or something?) had not fallen through would you feel differently? Depending on how things are where you live, there a lot of things unavailable last minute right now.And little joy in running about going into shops to get things when you know you are exposing yourself to a certain level of risk, I wouldn’t necessarily write him off for this valentine’s if everything else is going fine.These are strange times.

    in reply to: Husband is on Grindr #1030469
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    So you cheat on your wife (who do not have sex with,) regularly, with men, and you think that the people who might think that suggests you my in fact be gay, are part of some “problem” (-what problem exactly???) Because YOU aren’t gay, no sirree! No way, no way are you gay, no matter how many men you sleep with!! Listen, there is absolutely zero wrong with being gay or bi or whatever but there is a lot wrong with how you are treating your wife.

    in reply to: I love him, but I don’t think I’m in love with him. #1029309
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    you are asking the right questions at the right time- and the fact that you are tells me that you are too young to get married, the two of you; you need to get out there and find out who you are and where you want to be in the world, what you want to do, all those things; and settling down now is just going to make it more difficult to do that.It will be sad to part but if you part on good terms, after a long time to separate you can still be friends in the goodness of time.I think you know it is time to go, and that’s nobody’s fault; so be kind to yourself.

    in reply to: Opinion needed please #1029184
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    I think the lamb slaughtering was mainly pointing out how very very accommodating no.1, who has clearly stated she is a long term vegetarian (so this is not new) is being.She probably wouldn’t like seeing the slaughter (which is why she personally doesn’t pay people to do it on her behalf I suppose) but she has given him plenty of leeway, in so many ways, it almost seems as if he may be one of those who likes making others compromise their personal beliefs so they know they are more important than anything else. I hope not, because that can get into other areas of life.

    in reply to: Opinion needed please #1021960
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    I think Kate hit the nail on the head with the dog meat comparison.

    in reply to: Opinion needed please #1017514
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    It sounds like person one is already being very accommodating-it’s just the cows, other animals are being allowed, although that’s probably not much fun for the vegetarian, so I’d say 1 isn’t being unreasonable. 2 seems very determined to do something they know will upset 1, which is unkind, but I suppose some people just are very attached to certain foods. If you are able to go out for meals, when they can have it, that seems enough really, but if you are currently not able to do that, it might be worth 1 considering allowing 2 to order something readymade in every so often, and eat it in another room.And dealing with their own dishes/leftovers etc. Good luck with it, better to find a solution sooner rather than letting it build up.

    in reply to: Coronavirus/ Covid-19/ At-Home Support Thread #1015197
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    Just wanted to ask, it seems like you are having to find/book appointments for your older relatives, what is happening to older people without someone to do that for them? Are they on a list somewhere, will they also be vaccinated? Here everyone just gets their turn according to age/need on the NHS, how does it work in America?

    avatarHazel
    Participant

    The thing here is, he isn’t “like” a father, to her, he is her father.If he was prepared to abandon a child who he loves and who thinks of him as her father/stepfather/whatever, for his own romantic interests, he wouldn’t be a very good person, would he? You aren’t up for that, which is your right, so you should leave him/them. They are family and the child has done nothing to deserve being abandoned or eased out or have her ties with her father loosened.

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