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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Hazel

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Viewing 11 posts - 109 through 119 (of 119 total)
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  • in reply to: Break-up dilemma #964660
    Hazel
    Participant

    Glasgow is a very very friendly city– if it wasn’t for current restrictions you’d easily find lots of new friends. Having lived in Manchester, which does have its appeal but is a very different place, I’d say if you really like Glasgow, give it a shot for a while, if you can find shared accommodation with likeminded people so that gives you a start with slowly building a social circle, but I’d discount your ex right out of the equation. Things are so restricted right now though so I can absolutely see reasons returning to your previous support network may turn out to be your best bet.Good luck whatever you decide. You could always go back to Manchester with the thought of returning to Glasgow when the pandemic is more under control.

    in reply to: Friend advice? #964421
    Hazel
    Participant

    Hell no. You have no idea what she had going on. A friend of mine forgot my birthday and I was disconcerted a wee bit but turned out her life was being super weird in a way she wasn’t able at the time to share.Nobody (well, very close ones did, which was lovely) marked my birthday pretty much this year as it fell right after lockdown. They couldn’t even go to a card shop.Just do what you would normally do for her and forget the past, these have been odd times.Cherish friendships they are worth much more than tokens.

    Hazel
    Participant

    You are being entirely reasonable and altruistic, if everyone was as measured as you many lives would be saved. If he will not listen to you he really isn’t worthy.Thank you so much for the work that you do; ask him to stay away if these are his parameters; until a vaccine is in place, he is being careless with others’ lives– if he won’t, bin him as you deserve someone who cares about you and those you care for.

    Hazel
    Participant

    Any job will make him miserable? But he’ll take one if you want him to? (and then resent you for it) Lots of people can’t work in the UK right now but if he’s decided he just doesn’t wanna and will never wanna and has no other plan for how to live a good fulfilling life, just leave.He could want to volunteer, he could want all sorts of alternative lifestyles which might be worthwhile but he just wants to play his ex box and that’s no life for you.

    in reply to: Binge drinking boyfriend #964172
    Hazel
    Participant

    He may change as he gets older, he may not, but currently, you are not compatible, and it’s probably best to part your ways. I mean no offence to cocaine users who manage their use, I’m sure there are plenty of those (and who aren’t going against promises to their partner) but folks on coke on top of drink can sometimes be the most annoying people on the planet if you are relatively sober and straight.This isn’t a recipe for a happy healthy relationship.The deleted convo was probably him setting up to score if he’s given you no other indication of infidelity.

    in reply to: Should I leave my fiancé over a small(ish) issue? #962358
    Hazel
    Participant

    Sounds like you are able to tolerate his flaws and what he gives you outweighs that, and money isn’t everything.It definitely sounds like you don’t want to leave him, so sort out your finances so his habits don’t impact on you. BUT do not not not base your decisions on what you stand to inherit, unless both your families are super super rich. Sometimes, when people come to the end of their lives, they need a LOT of care, the cost for this can be immeasurable, and it can continue for years. You’d want your parents to live out their last years with every thing that would make them more bearable as they may start to become frail, wouldn’t you? And for as long as they can, so they can keep enjoying the best life possible? Then do not count on any inheritance. If you are happy with no long plan, that’s fine and freeing but don’t imagine you definitely will have this to fall back on.And maybe find a couple of close confidants outside of work, as those work friends don’t sound like that’s always the best thing for you for the majority of your social needs.

    in reply to: Covid Support Thread #900859
    Hazel
    Participant

    Hi Helen. UK here, well, Scotland actually. We are watching you and our hearts go out to you. Our neighbours in England are being rash and we are unhappy about that, but your country is being betrayed by that hideous man and his cohorts and it is indefensible. Next chance you get, move here or NZ, I’d say. How do we treat immigrants? We are arses to everyone equally but nice enough when it matters.

    in reply to: Friends with the Opposite Gender #891231
    Hazel
    Participant

    I’m always sticking up for people’s rights to have friends of the opposite sex but this is not that.This is blatant and hurtful and you should leave/kick him out.

    in reply to: Covid Support Thread #890799
    Hazel
    Participant

    Just wondering what the consensus is here re masks? Where I live, we are supposed to wear them, to protect others, but people really aren’t, and I was just wondering where the rest of the world is with this. I keep saying “It’s to protect others” and they keep saying ” but it does not protect me and may harm me” . Personally as someone who frequently has to wear a mask 8hr 5-6 day I know that although it sucks it is okay once you get used to it, and surely if you have to be in the shop 30-45 minutes max, and if everyone does this, it reduces risk for the shop staff even a little, it should be mandatory? What does everyone think?
    z

    in reply to: Covid Support Thread #879143
    Hazel
    Participant

    hummingbirds are the most amazing thing ever. Was working for 6 weeks in California and spent every scrap of time I had off going to places they might be and watching them in wonder. You Americans might have a mad president but your birds are just amazing. Particularly impressed by your herons also. At home also in sort of wilderness and enjoying that some Red Kites have arrived, and trying to keep my poor 84+ utter socialite mother amused, not easy, I’m a happy hermit but she’s going bananas. I must learn to vivace. I have never really needed to before and it does not come easily.

    in reply to: Covid Support Thread #878669
    Hazel
    Participant

    every day listening to the news, here in the UK our hearts are going out to America. We are scared here, very scared, but at least our healthcare is free and the govt will give us something to live on so we can stay at home. it must be fucking horrible for so many in America. Right now I really wish I was religious so I could pray for you or skilled in voodoo so I could take out your awful president.(joke) Hearing everyone’s stories here is making it so real.Our Prime Minister has just come down with the virus, as has next in line to throne. I’m indifferent to Royals and highly not keen on our PM, as he’s a Tory and a buffoon, who hesitated and will have cost lives, but I’d never wish this virus on anyone. Trump was very blasé’ in the beginning though and he shook a lot of hands. I think we’ll see many politicians fall in more ways than one before this is over. if the gods are looking to choose; him first .

Viewing 11 posts - 109 through 119 (of 119 total)
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