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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Hazel

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Viewing 12 posts - 85 through 96 (of 118 total)
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  • in reply to: “No Valentines card or gift” #1030486
    Hazel
    Participant

    Ah, so he anticipated shelling out £600-800 on a fancy meal but that fell through, I can see why he may not have planned another big purchase, if that meal with friends (are you in NZ or something?) had not fallen through would you feel differently? Depending on how things are where you live, there a lot of things unavailable last minute right now.And little joy in running about going into shops to get things when you know you are exposing yourself to a certain level of risk, I wouldn’t necessarily write him off for this valentine’s if everything else is going fine.These are strange times.

    in reply to: Husband is on Grindr #1030469
    Hazel
    Participant

    So you cheat on your wife (who do not have sex with,) regularly, with men, and you think that the people who might think that suggests you my in fact be gay, are part of some “problem” (-what problem exactly???) Because YOU aren’t gay, no sirree! No way, no way are you gay, no matter how many men you sleep with!! Listen, there is absolutely zero wrong with being gay or bi or whatever but there is a lot wrong with how you are treating your wife.

    in reply to: I love him, but I don’t think I’m in love with him. #1029309
    Hazel
    Participant

    you are asking the right questions at the right time- and the fact that you are tells me that you are too young to get married, the two of you; you need to get out there and find out who you are and where you want to be in the world, what you want to do, all those things; and settling down now is just going to make it more difficult to do that.It will be sad to part but if you part on good terms, after a long time to separate you can still be friends in the goodness of time.I think you know it is time to go, and that’s nobody’s fault; so be kind to yourself.

    in reply to: Opinion needed please #1029184
    Hazel
    Participant

    I think the lamb slaughtering was mainly pointing out how very very accommodating no.1, who has clearly stated she is a long term vegetarian (so this is not new) is being.She probably wouldn’t like seeing the slaughter (which is why she personally doesn’t pay people to do it on her behalf I suppose) but she has given him plenty of leeway, in so many ways, it almost seems as if he may be one of those who likes making others compromise their personal beliefs so they know they are more important than anything else. I hope not, because that can get into other areas of life.

    in reply to: Opinion needed please #1021960
    Hazel
    Participant

    I think Kate hit the nail on the head with the dog meat comparison.

    in reply to: Opinion needed please #1017514
    Hazel
    Participant

    It sounds like person one is already being very accommodating-it’s just the cows, other animals are being allowed, although that’s probably not much fun for the vegetarian, so I’d say 1 isn’t being unreasonable. 2 seems very determined to do something they know will upset 1, which is unkind, but I suppose some people just are very attached to certain foods. If you are able to go out for meals, when they can have it, that seems enough really, but if you are currently not able to do that, it might be worth 1 considering allowing 2 to order something readymade in every so often, and eat it in another room.And dealing with their own dishes/leftovers etc. Good luck with it, better to find a solution sooner rather than letting it build up.

    in reply to: Covid Support Thread #1015197
    Hazel
    Participant

    Just wanted to ask, it seems like you are having to find/book appointments for your older relatives, what is happening to older people without someone to do that for them? Are they on a list somewhere, will they also be vaccinated? Here everyone just gets their turn according to age/need on the NHS, how does it work in America?

    Hazel
    Participant

    The thing here is, he isn’t “like” a father, to her, he is her father.If he was prepared to abandon a child who he loves and who thinks of him as her father/stepfather/whatever, for his own romantic interests, he wouldn’t be a very good person, would he? You aren’t up for that, which is your right, so you should leave him/them. They are family and the child has done nothing to deserve being abandoned or eased out or have her ties with her father loosened.

    in reply to: Did I just do the right thing or not #1009688
    Hazel
    Participant

    If you are thinking that we “just don’t understand how she looked at you” you should realise that some people have sunny dispositions, are friendly, and have pleasant open faces, and they are like that with men women children dogs and possibly even houseplants, and it never means they are secretly in love with you and you alone. Currently quite appreciating my “resting bitch face” for once.

    in reply to: Mother in law forgot my birthday #1009171
    Hazel
    Participant

    She’s probably been staying in and not going to card shops and lots of people she normally would have sent cards to this year haven’t got one.TBH I’d rather people I knew just went out for absolute essentials, lots of things people normally do have gone by the board this year, I’d definitely not take it at all personally.She probably used to enjoy going out and getting cards for people, that’s not been much fun for anyone lately. Have a nice zoom call or something maybe if you are still worried about how she feels about you. To lots of people birthdays are no big deal, so it’s unlikely a sign of anything amiss.

    Hazel
    Participant

    Ahhhh.. I’d move on. He was telling you something there, and it wasn’t a good thing. You are young and hardly anyone your age finds their perfect partner at that age (I know exactly one couple who have and that was because neither of them tried to control the other, ever, they even had a wee break when that might have been a problem-) -if I was you I’d move on.I mean, if you were disfigured in a car crash, would he still love you? If you just naturally aged as we all must? I’m not really judging him for this as he is presumably very young but that’s one weird thing to set out, that you mustn’t gain weight to keep his love, that’d be a nope from me.

    in reply to: I feel like my close friend is pushing me out of her life #1001872
    Hazel
    Participant

    Ah, that’s a shame, people ought to be able to have friends of whatever gender, as long as there is no romantic spark going on, it shouldn’t bother partners. Yet it often does. If you are truly platonic friends, just wait it out. Often people in love (especially young people) can be expecting of their friends to back off a bit (male or female or whatever) while the new relationship is in it’s very intense phase and they can’t imagine anything better than being with each other ALL the time. Maybe don’t push her to hang out, for a while, and let this trip go, disappointing though that is. have you another friend to invite? It might be a good time to take a punt on inviting any other friend to widen your social circle so you don’t feel so dependant on just the one person. BTW though, if you are having romantic thoughts towards her, now is definitely the time to back away, and not pressure her into situations like a hotel stay.

Viewing 12 posts - 85 through 96 (of 118 total)
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