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So this thread is a little quiet, because it seems that some of you are going on awesome dates, which I LOVE! I’m so happy how things change over a month and a half.
I did just want to give a quick update since I can’t be this neurotic with my gal pals. Went on a fourth date with Tinder Finance Guy to the Canadian National Exhibition which I think is similar to a state fair from what I hear about state fairs? We had a lot of fun, played games, watched a dog show, walked around, etc.
Then over some greasy food, he brought up that we’d been on four dates now and we should know whether we were interested in each other or not and he didn’t want either of us to waste time if we weren’t interested. He said he liked me but he couldn’t tell whether I liked him. He said I could think about it and let him know, but I told him then that I liked him and was interested in spending more time with him, but I can be more reserved. And I also told him that with school/work, I’ve gone on dates but haven’t had a boyfriend so this is new to me. So I guess we are really going to try this out!
He texted me just now about getting home safe etc. and he said sorry for not kissing me yet but it’s hard to find the right moment at public festivals, which true… I’m so glad he texted me because I was kind of expecting it by now, and was worried something was wrong with me, but it’s all ok! Except, um, guys? I’m 26 and I’ve never kissed someone before, like not even at a party or anything. Sooo, umm, help? Haha. And also just how to show more interest?
Yeah, it’s a bit of a mix of not feeling comfortable with compliments and then also moving too quickly kind of thing. That said, my third date with Tinder Finance Guy went pretty well today and I’m feeling more comfortable with him. I went over to his place in the morning and he made us breakfast including a lot of cut fruit/fruit arrangement, which was kind of impressive. Then we went to a street festival.
Later on he asked if I wanted to continue to hang out and I said yeah and he said he did too, so things seem to be progressing! We haven’t had a night time date and physically there’s not much yet. I do want to take things slowly but I guess that’s the next step.
Sorry to hear that kare, but it’s good that you have that standard and you keep it.
I hope second date with Tinder Teacher goes well, veritek!! I also hope your parents feel better soon.
So I’m not going to Ottawa this weekend because they wanted me to start my new job Monday (!), but that means I’m seeing Tinder Finance Guy tomorrow for a third date. I’m starting to feel like I should be asking more serious questions, but I don’t know what. Like, is he looking for a relationship, does he want kids at some point, exes (but do I bring up my lack of experience?).. And I’m still testing out chemistry too.
He also said that hearing I was free “made his day” and that he can’t wait to see me again. I think it’s a bit too much, but am I being really cold? Why am I uncomfortable with compliments/flattery?
Once again, I’m glad to get some more opinions on dates. On further reflection, it wasn’t even just a foot in mouth slip of tongue, it was a joke and to me it felt patronizing. Maybe to other people it wouldn’t but ultimately it’s how I feel and my comfort. I didn’t end up sending a “nice to know you text” today. If he reaches out after he gets back, I’ll let him know I’m not interested. There are other reasons as well.
No, he wasn’t the one that I thought about changing the Ottawa trip for (and I’m not! and that guy says he still wants to see me so we’re sorting out schedules).
@Catty, happy to hear about your date! Were you at a boardgames cafe or something for dinner?
[OT: I got a job offer today!! Going to talk terms tomorrow. Ahh, a little nervous.]
Woot, woot, veritek! That date plan sounds swell! And great signs, ktfran!
The Second City date was fine. Well, I mean the show was great! I just wish I could ovary up and decide if I want to see this guy again. He’s leaving for Europe this evening so I kind of have to let him know now OR wait a week and a half, see if this fizzles out SLASH let him know when he gets back? He’s pretty clear that he wants to see me again after hegets back. He is generally a good person. Both times he’s surprised me. It might just be an attraction thing.
Can I be a little sensitive though? I lightly asked the hypothetical of if you won the lottery, would you quit your job? He answered, then asked, “How about you? Oh wait, you have to get a job first.” It really was a joking manner but I’m kind of sensitive about it since I told him about a not great interview from Monday. Blerg.
I wish guys who show interest in me are guys I definitely am interested in.
Yeah you are all very logical. I like my life hanging out with friends and even by myself; I don’t want to lose that.
@K, ah, gotcha. Agreed 🙂
Did he end up meeting your friends, ktfran?
Tinder Finance Guy suggested a cooking/baking session at his place and he offered to make the cooking part (I had mentioned I liked baking before). I’m interested and told him same, except I am going to the cottage this weekend (finally made friends with people who have cottages! [it’s kind of a Canadian thing]). I also had made plans to go to Ottawa the following weekend to visit friends/the city. So I’m looking at the weekend a few weeks from now and that seems far off? It would be three weeks from our second date. Should I maybe plan something in between if I am interested?
I probably am sabotaging my relationship life by planning trips and stuff. Like I do want to go to Otttawa but does it have to be now? I’m driving so it is flexible. Of course there’s work stuff too.
Have a second date at Second City (Toronto) with OKC guy tonight.
Hahaha, if appropriate, please keep us posted if ktfran knows Tinder Teacher.
Thanks for all your perspective regarding time of break up. Really appreciate your insight/experience. Glad to know it’s not a big deal (depending on the person). I think it caught me a little off guard that he brought it up, but it was kind of in passing, rather than a “let me tell you about my crazy ex’s”.
@K, I’m in southwest Ontario; anywhere close to you? 🙂
@Eve, I kind of feel the same way about this Tinder Finance Guy after our second date too. I don’t have great advice, but also chiming in that you’re not alone, and it helps to read everyone else’s advice. I flip flop between whether I find him attractive or not, but I’m curious to spend some more time with him except I also don’t want to lead him on. If you are certain though at you are’t attracted to him, then yeah, rejecting him now will save your time too.
Also, that guy at your work is a jerk. Ya think after the second time he asked you out (heck, even the first) he’d know better.
kare, you are a bombshell! Love your outfit and I’m glad you had fun. Fabbity fab date ver! Thanks for sharing!
The hike with Tinder Finance Guy was really nice. It was super hot out but we chilled by a waterfall. We grabbed dinner at a fun local bar. Kind of an awkward end because he had to run to catch the train so no hug goodbye (I was driving).
He has this way of saying things that could be braggy/humble brag, but he really does seem genuine and just matter of fact about it. He talks about money, savings (“accumulating wealth”), investments etc. and to me that’s like woah too much. On the flipside, he’s cute and considerate. On paper he’s a solid person… job, has his own place, ambitious, likes his family. But maybe too ambitious for me?
A couple other red flaggish thing are: he mentioned offhand that he came out of a long-term relationship in February. Do you think 6-7 months is enough time to get over someone? I wanted to ask him how long the relationship was, but I didn’t since, like, don’t talk about exes on early dates, right? Also he he said an ex from Gr. 12/first year university was “crazy” which I’m not keen on as an adjective for women, but I guess that was also a while ago. This only came up because we were talking about high schools and his ex went to one of the ones we talked about.
I’m not sure if we will see each other soon or ever… He’s been working really late hours and my next two weekends are actually packed. I think I’ll leave it in his court to initiate again.
No, no, I pieced it out of non-sports wear clothes that can be used for a day hike! I am using the black legging capris and cute sports bra idea plus a v-neck tshirt.