Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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  • in reply to: Dog Adoption: Moral Dilemma #847871
    avatariliketea
    Member

    Keep the dog, give it a good life. Yes, you could get another dog. But there will ALWAYS be more dogs that need saving, and you can’t save every single one. That dog was at a KILL shelter, and they weren’t contacting the shelter. I don’t think they actually cared. Maybe they like drugs and can’t keep track of time, I don’t know. I don’t even care if they didn’t have the money, because they weren’t in contact with the shelter.

    If it was my dog, I’d be in contact. Let’s say, for some reason, I lost my credit card, my debit account got frozen, and I got mugged for all the cash I had on hand, I’d still haul ass to the shelter, especially at a kill shelter. I’d beg. Please don’t kill or adopt out my dog. I’d offer to work/volunteer there, anything. That’s the difference.

    in reply to: Am I being selfish? #846909
    avatariliketea
    Member

    I feel like I could have written this when I was 17. I am 31 now. My mom was exactly this, although the only difference is that she didn’t ask me for money. Just that I had to be at her beck and call to babysit my two younger siblings for a very small amount of money, and I was going to university (I was also 17). She didn’t understand that no, I can’t take a day off school to watch them. No, I am not taking an unpaid day off work to watch them. She ended up kicking me out at 18. Then, yes, she did pay a babysitter minimum wage, but it was so liberating that IT WAS NO LONGER MY PROBLEM.

    My advice is to start looking at how to be independent now, just in case she decides you’re being too unhelpful. Right now, show her how much your books will cost next year, how much money is in your bank account now, how much you make now (on 6 hours a week!), how much money you will have when school starts. You can easily make a spreadsheet in Excel to show how this is going to work out. And buying books isn’t the end, there’s all sorts of stuff that comes up in college/university that costs money. Show her all the free programs that your siblings could be going to (do they have brochures or website pages you can print out and show her?). Ask her, seriously, why not?Ask her if she’s paying for your program in the fall. If she isn’t, how are you going to pay? Ask her for the answer. Sounds like she’s thinking in the short term, and of only herself. You need to be saving money for next year. Loans are great, but not a guarantee.

    I know you trained your replacement, so you might have to pick up some shifts elsewhere, and I’m sorry she ruined that for you, but there will be more opportunities.

    Key thing here, too, is keep your cool. Don’t start a yelling match. I really want to make you believe that you aren’t being selfish. You’re working towards your future and your mother is being an obstacle. She probably doesn’t see it that way, I know my mother didn’t have the faculities to understand. Don’t let her dictate your schedule, because that’s going to put you on a fast track to not finishing your program.

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