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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 47 total)
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  • in reply to: How do I deal with my neighbour? #1083458
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    He sounds like a grumpy old man with nothing better to do then keep tabs on you so he can complain.

    Call the landlord and ask about the insulation quality of insulation in-between apartments and how sound proof it might be. Talk to the landlord about your issues with this tenant and that you feel harressed constantly based on the fact that he seems to be very aware of what you do and when you are doing things. Ask if you can move to another apartment if one is available and will wait for one to be available if not.

    You other option would be to move.

    I am curious though, since you mentioned these apartments are Airbnb rentals. Are these apartments or condos because I’m pretty sure a tenant cannot sublease to airbnb as that would be against the leasing contract but if the landlord is airbnb renting out his units then you should easily be able to move apartments.

    in reply to: Mother in law troubles #1081271
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    (If US based ) I know everyone here is jumping straight Assisted Living (ALF) but in order to qualify for ALF you have to meet the qualification of the assessment and that assessment is based on Activities of Daily Living (ADL), physical, and cognitive decline, along with cost. Also, many ALF are costly, though there are some lower income level ALF for those on SSI or SSID. It depends on the state you reside in. If your MIL is independent and does not meet the assessment qualifications but still needs caregivers then she can find an Independent Senior homes/apartments living place. These are also based off income and can serve those who are on SSI/SSID.

    You can contact your local Office on Aging/Department of Health – Adult Protective Services and Community Action Agency to assist with placement. Your MIL Physician’s office social worker can assist as well and would likely be better informed about what type of housing/placement would be appropriate for her. Not to mention they can assist with making referrals to programs such as Meals on Wheels and transportation services etc.

    If hiring a caregiver is costly – then see if your state has a program for low income seniors for caregivers called homemakers. If she cannot bath self/toilet etc. anything regarding medical – her PCP can order home health in the home.

    If you don’t want your MIL living with you then I suggest reaching out and findings out what programs and places can assist because she probably is not going to help herself.

    Also, you cannot force this women into an ALF or any home she does not want to live in. She has to agree and be willing to accept services. It’s best to be honest and repeat it as often that you do not want to and will not take care of her, and repeat it over to her, your husband, and family so she is more likely to agree.

    in reply to: Annoyed with friend #1081257
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Your so-called friend is a sadist. Seriously, she has no empathy and she DID NOT APOLOGIES. There is a difference in playing a prank or making a joke and when a person cant scale their own behaviors from said prank or joke then something is really wrong with them.

    in reply to: Am I unreasonable? #1075577
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    He is not ready to be a husband, and it is questionable about how good of a father he is. He is not going to be the husbands you want him to be to you. He will need lots of work to change. Picture what kind of husbands you really want and seek that. 5 plus years and two children later, this man will not change his ways with you and honestly it should not have taken you two this long to have said I dos. Take the red flags/hints and leave.

    in reply to: Am I unreasonable? #1075286
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    It is unreasonable to tell him not to have a drink, it’s not unreasonable to tell him to control himself and not get drunk. Before becoming pregnant, would you have been okay with him getting drunk at the wedding anyway? Most newlyweds, esp. on their first night as legally official, want to spend a romantic night together. That’s where your argument/point of view should be, not because you are pregnant but pregnant women should not be taken care of a drunk husband either. Him having a few drinks wont hurt but you cant go around expecting him to stop drinking because you cant since you are with child. That would be unreasonable if that is the case but given that your argument is that he wants to get drunk on your wedding night then you have grounds to say you strongly disagree. And if you think he hates you over this then you should postpone the wedding.

    I’m not sure what to think about the “rave” ticket because, no that’s not something that is normally given as a wedding gift but I am sure stranger things have been given but if his friend wanted to gift this to him then you should have stayed out of it. And again, if you don’t want your future husbands being a raver, then don’t marry this guy.

    in reply to: Marriage problems #1064587
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Nothing says you love and care about someone more than going behind their back and talking trash about them and telling their personal intimate situations- that’s not toxic at all, that’s what healthy relationships look like.

    Friends and family really do not need to know about your sex life – if couples are having sex issues then they go to their doctors/sex therapist/ or talk it out. Friends and family do not need to be put in the middle of who is right or wrong and causing riffs in relationships. Friends and family will be the first ones to throw your dirty laundry out there when things go south between you and them. Friends and family will likely feel awkward hearing about your relationship issues and the ones that don’t probably enjoy gossiping about it.

    If you are going to friends and family’s constantly complaining about your relationship then maybe its time to get professional help and/or exit it.

    What’s a friend to say when you said to them “I’m not happy with Becky anymore, she gets on my nerves, annoys me when I play my video games, we are always fighting, and our sex life sucks” – friend replies back ” Oh yeah she’s a bad wife, you shouldn’t put up with that. Tell her to f off”. WOW soooo helpful!

    LW – you should do as Kate said, and then prepare yourself for a divorce. Clearly neither one of you are happy and I wouldn’t be with someone who talked awful about me behind my back.

    in reply to: HELP my ex is being weird… #1054009
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Your EX isn’t being weird, he is being a JERK!! He owes you an apology but until that happens distance yourself from him.

    in reply to: I am a cheater #1046953
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    A tale as old as time…

    Really this dude is 20 yrs old. It is not shocking that he hasn’t developed the best hygiene and housekeeping practices. He might have been coddled by his parents, he may know better and not care, or he really may just be nasty but no matter how much you try to make him look like the bad guy here by complaining about his short comings, you are the bad guy. You want to talk about his maturity level but yet, have you looked in the mirror lately. You cheated on this guy with his best friend. A mature mentally sound women would have said this isn’t working for me and broke up.

    You are trying to blame your boyfriend for why you cheated. Just stop making excuses and own it.

    in reply to: Troubled Trucker Wife #1039632
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    I mean, marriage is a give and take and it’s only been 3 1/2 yrs in and your ready to call it quits and your resentful of him. People are constantly changing and for marriages to last, sacrifices and compromises have to be made.

    in reply to: I know I’m going to get beaten up, what do I do!? #1034963
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Yes, you will need to coward down and be submissive. like everyone else has advised. You should also ask and offer to pay for this women’s medical bills if she has sustained financial loss.

    Then you need to contact a mental health provider and start addressing your drinking issues before it escalates into alcoholism and possibly on setting other mental health cognitive issues that may flare up due to substance abuse.

    in reply to: Business partner to-be buys without me. #1033353
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Oh, I see where you state you are a pushover. Yeah, your friend didnt approach you because of that.

    in reply to: Business partner to-be buys without me. #1033352
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Jeremy, what would have been your honest response if your friend came to you and said something like “I don’t want to be partners with you but I am interested in the buying the business” ?

    I don’t think you boss was being an ass or owed you transparency. He has to make the best financial decisions for only himself. I think your boss entertained your idea as an option but end the end he made what he believes to have been the right decisions for himself. He shouldnt have to disclose other offers or persons that are interested with you at all. I don’t think you should have any spite or begrudge someone for this because this is how business is done. You didn’t have the funds to buy him out, end of story.

    I wonder if your friend decided it was best not to mix business with friendship. I think your friend could have been more transparent with you but I don’t think your friend should have to explain himself and maybe that’s why they didn’t say anything. Would you have honestly pestered them about going in as partners or would you have just accepted the fact that they wanted to do this on their own.

    I also dont think you were screwed over bc, again, you never had the funds in the first place.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 47 total)
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