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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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Viewing 12 posts - 37 through 48 (of 79 total)
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  • in reply to: Dating advice please!! #1031604
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    At 36, with multiple failed relationships, you should know that this is the normal feels of a new relationship. Relationships in the early stages are always exciting and everyone is always on their best behaviors and the butterflies are going crazy.

    You should believe him when he says he isnt ready to settle down with you. He might change his mind but should you wait around until he does? No! There’s nothing wrong with the fact that he makes you feel good and they you believe you are falling in love but are you falling too soon?

    Please dont take this wrong but you sound immature for a 36yr old. This sounds like a 20something your old wrote this with no relationship experience.

    The question should be what do I want out of a relationship. If you want to have a serious commitment with someone then find someone with the same goals and ambitions. If you are on a time schedule to find someone to fall in love with then why are you dating someone who wants to take their time.

    No one can tell you what this guy is thinking but what is fact is he doesn’t want anything serious right now.

    in reply to: Need Insight or Advice #1031494
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Your husband doesn’t have a relationship with anyone except his mother, with whom he has introduced you to. These people are not important to him at all, therefore he see no reason for them to be important for you to know. That’s my guess for why no effort has ever been made.

    You could have politely pulled your husband aside about sitting next to him to feel included. Maybe you could have introduced yourself instead of waiting for them. Given the circumstances, your husband was likely dealing with grief and not focused on ensuring you were comfortable. I think it’s totally appropriate to have a discussion about this and how it hurt you.

    in reply to: Losing My Wife To Chronic Pain #1031345
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    If your wife has chronic pain then I assume she is on opioids? Is there a chance that this her having withdraw symptoms?

    in reply to: Between my boyfriend and my ex #1031341
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Your sentence says it all ” I feel so unloved…”. I am not sure what advice you are looking for but if its getting back with this person, then NO, it is not a healthy relationship. It can be hard to let go of first loves. Everything you wrote in about this person seems like he was not good boyfriend to you. It sounds like he did bare minimum stuff. Perhaps Google topics on what is and is not health in relationships and maybe find a counselor to talk too.

    in reply to: Parents won’t let me out even though I’m an adult #1031340
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    It would be nice to know if you live in the US or in a country that has women shelters. That’s where you need to go. A am a Christian but even with my beliefs, I am by far a perfect one. My personal opinion is your parents are way out of line and my concern is, that being Muslim, are your parents so strong in their belief, that they could cause serious harm to you? Are you safe or afraid for you life?

    in reply to: Torn between generations #1031223
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    It sounds like your sister wants to be the peacekeeper/problem solver.

    It’s not up to your sister to request brother and his fiancés to cancel their wedding nuptials. Remind her that that day is not about her or anyone else but about brother/fiancés and family is supportive for them to continue on. In a firmly nice way, tell her to drop it asap and it’s no longer a topic to discuss.

    Your children are your top priority over everyone else and YOU KNOW THAT but your childless sister does not understand. And the other issue is that your sister is willingly able to up route her whole life to come care for your parents. So what can you do or say so you don’t feel guilted for making your kids a top priority and concerned she will possible ruin her career/life to care for her parents – you say “Sister, I am happy that you want to support our parents as their primary caregiver. I am going to miss being closer to you but I understand you feel your place is with our parents. I am willing to pay for attendants to look after our parents, willing to host them in my house a few months every yr as well, and willing to visit them every yr. Just let me know how I can help and when.”

    Also, let your parents know this is what you can do.

    I am sorry your father is ill and know that it is stressful and adds alot more stress when they are many miles away.

    in reply to: Is what happened at my last job abuse or discrimination? #1031196
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Based on those 3 incidences you just stated, she needs to be reported. You have grounds for a complaint!

    in reply to: “How Long Do I Need to Stay with My Husband?” #1031193
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Sounds like he has a sex addiction – some sort of sexual based addiction. He may be a good father but he is not a good husband. You should probably separate. His word is no good. I don’t know what situation you are in if you are able to divorce this man but that is what I would do! Go get tested for STDs. Dont have sex with him.

    in reply to: Is what happened at my last job abuse or discrimination? #1031190
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    So your saying that your old Director was sexist and racist based on hiring similar persons of sex/skin tone but other than your visual observation, you have nothing else to back those allegations up with, right?

    Just because someone is more qualified for a position doesn’t mean they are the right fit/right personality.

    This Director appeared very vocal with you and the secretary that she wasn’t happy with eithers work ethic/performance after a year. She let you know that she was happy to hear you were transferring and she told you.

    I’d tread careful with such extreme allegations unless she has said sexiest/racist remarks. If the company allows her the ability to hire whom she believes is qualified and just because it appears sexist/racist to you, may not be that way, and could cost you your job.

    You don’t mention you have an HR department but that is who you would contact but is it worth opening up an investigation? Is this the work culture you want to remain in? How likely would this company take your claim? Would it put you at risk of being fired– a risk worth taking? Based on what you wrote, I am not sure you have a solid case for a compliant and it could red flag you.

    Also, Director sounds like a micromanager but could it be true that you didnt do a good job.

    in reply to: Valentines Date #1030590
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    @goler.gal I think she should contact him and apologize too. I agree with everyone else. Your reaction was over the top. You didnt respond well and continued to not respond well. Either something traumatic has occurred in your life that you need a psychiatrist or you need to be taking some sex education with a sex therapist due to maturity and lack of education issues here.

    in reply to: “No Valentines card or gift” #1030496
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Question for LW, are you trying to buy this man’s love? I think you are upset over Valentine’s day because you don’t feel he is invested in you as you are in him. It’s okay to set a budget and not buy expensive gifts that someone suggest to win them over.

    Clearly you feel loved by your children and I would put my energy into that.

    in reply to: I love him, but I don’t think I’m in love with him. #1030465
    Karebear1813
    Participant

    Call off the wedding and ask for a break. It’s okay to not know what you want. It’s okay to love someone but not be in love with them.

Viewing 12 posts - 37 through 48 (of 79 total)
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