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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Kate

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 2,952 total)
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  • in reply to: What does my married colleague want? #1113013
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Right, I think it was about property and lineage.

    in reply to: What does my married colleague want? #1113010
    Kate
    Keymaster

    “Marriage, by its nature, is between the two participating individuals (regardless of sexual orientation or gender) and God.”

    No, it’s not. It’s a legal contract. People can bring God / gods into it if they want to, or not. And excuse me, but until the Supreme Court decides women can’t divorce, you don’t get to decide what’s sufficient grounds for divorce and what isn’t.

    in reply to: What does my married colleague want? #1112999
    Kate
    Keymaster

    “The guy broke a convenient he made between himself, his wife and God.”

    He might have. Some people do, some don’t.

    in reply to: “Boyfriend Using Transgender Apps” #1112991
    Kate
    Keymaster

    In fairness, he doesn’t have to have been in happy relationships to comment on the situation.

    in reply to: “Boyfriend Using Transgender Apps” #1112987
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I’m a little curious how she found out too. If she was going through his phone, it suggests she already had a suspicion or a reason not to trust him or he was acting sketchy. I think it’s extremely unlikely that someone reached out and told her this for malicious reasons and it’s not true. If a third party did tell her, it’s probably because they think she needs to be warned.

    But yeah. Look, no one who’s “straight as a ruler” or lonely or bored, is downloading trans dating apps! They’re doing it because they’re attracted to trans people and curious about meeting them. You don’t just do something like that because you’re human, you download Tinder or look at porn. So to me, even if he’s not doing this right now, which honestly he probably is, it’s still a red flag to me because he’s in denial that he’s attracted to trans people and probably trying to hide in this straight relationship but something is going to blow up at some point.

    in reply to: “Boyfriend Using Transgender Apps” #1112978
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I suppose maybe there’s a use case where he did this once or twice in the past when they weren’t together and never again, that possibly isn’t concerning?

    But like, downloading an app that allows you to interact with profiles of real people you could meet, that clearly shows intent and interest and attraction. Which he’s vehemently denying. So that right there is problematic because he’s not being honest. And if this app stuff was going on while they were together, huge red flag because he was looking for something outside the relationship and not being honest about it.

    in reply to: “Boyfriend Using Transgender Apps” #1112973
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yes, that’s completely a reasonable concern. He’s attracted to trans people and actively trying to connect with them. Absolutely be concerned that he’ll get physical with some of these folks if he hasn’t already.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #1112972
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I used to eat soup for dinner and take the dog for a really long walk.

    My dog now just wants to wander down Massachusetts Avenue and talk to literally every single person. People on drugs, Jehova’s Witnesses, the homeless people who are into 5G conspiracy and steal from the supermarket and CVS, everyone. He was talking to a woman yesterday on my way to Walgreens and she told me that “the gentleman who walks this dog” won’t let her talk to him, and picks him up when he sees her, and she thinks it’s because she’s Black. So then I had to keep trying to assure her that my husband isn’t racist, he’s just busy. She asked me 3x if it’s because she’s Black and I’m like no no, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. Awkward. She’s like, “this dog likes me!”

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #1112965
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I felt like that too about it being pretty easy and peaceful being single, and like how on earth could I share a home with someone. Even now, when my husband goes on work trips, there’s some sense of relief to be able to work longer hours to get my work done, eat whatever food is in the house (rather than going out and eating high-calorie food or cooking a meal) etc. Even though he does everything around the house when he’s here! Only being responsible for yourself definitely has a lot going for it.

    I think at some point you’re going to find a partner, but even if you don’t you’re going to be okay.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #1112945
    Kate
    Keymaster

    It’s not a race. If it was, I would have won, I got married right after I turned 21. Except I didn’t know shit about myself and neither did he, and we got divorced after 7 years.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #1112938
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Wanted to suggest the Living Proof Restore Perfecting Spray as a leave-in. It’s really really good. Silicone free, heat protecting, UV protecting, smoothing, and moisturizing. And not heavy.

    in reply to: Encounter with an ex #1112923
    Kate
    Keymaster

    I think this is key though: women “prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.” These lonely single guys are single because they’re not bringing much to the table.

    But yeah, there ARE emotionally available good communicators out there with similar values to yours. This guy isn’t it.

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