anonymousse

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  • May 23, 2022 at 8:13 pm #1109730

    You said earlier, your family has so much influence over you that you’re starting to doubt him.

    How old are you?

    May 23, 2022 at 8:11 pm #1109729

    Let him go to Nigeria and see about the job and in a year and a half when he’s back and has improved his standing with your family, then get engaged.

    Love will wait.

    Why doesn’t your brother approve, if the second meeting went so well?

    Your mother was married after a short time and maybe things worked out for her, but it doesn’t for most. If even she is telling you to slow down, you should slow down.

    May 23, 2022 at 7:19 pm #1109722

    “In the meantime, he wants to move to Nigeria for work. He wants to go there to work because he thinks he has once in a lifetime opportunity. I think it might be the case. I encourage him to go but struggles to go without me.. he can’t imagine going there if I don’t join him in a year or so, although he really understands I can’t promise anything now.”

    This is what you wrote. You didn’t say in a year and a half. From what you wrote above, it made it really sound like he was trying to rush an engagement, to rush a marriage, to get you to Nigeria. What is this once in a lifetime opportunity that he will move for?

    Why does the first impression remain, if the second meeting went so well? Why does your brother believe you deserve better?

    How long have you known this guy?

    May 23, 2022 at 6:39 pm #1109718

    I would highly recommend trying to find an alternate solution than having them with trade off staying with you. I’m sorry you’re dealing with so much but you need to focus on your well being. They can’t use “helping you but making your life miserable” as their fake patch to not address their issues. If they are actually helpful, great but it doesn’t sound like they are really doing much for you if your dad only walks your dog but you’re still in charge of procuring food, for instance.

    I could never let my parents stay with me more than a couple days. It’s totally depressing thinking about longer term. I wouldn’t and they wouldn’t even ask, I don’t think.

    I know I’m a broken record but I’m really enjoying my higher dose of antidepressants.

    Were you at the show with surprise guest Dave Chappelle?

    May 19, 2022 at 10:01 pm #1109618

    I don’t take my phone with me everywhere. Now that I have an Apple watch, I clock way more steps per day than I did before, so maybe that could be part of it Ktfran? I don’t believe iPhones are as accurate with step length, etc like a Fitbit or Apple watch would be, but I don’t have the latest one and could totally be wrong about that.

    May 19, 2022 at 10:32 am #1109588

    I’m so sorry you’re going though such a hard time, LadyE.

    I know this is anecdotal and I don’t want to pressure you to pop more pills but I recently asked to up my lexapro and the small difference in dosage has like changed me from feeling pretty okay but meh to actually feeling pretty fucking happy when the world isn’t engulfed in flames around my human rights. Take it as a grain of salt but it’s made a great difference even in my energy levels. And I wouldn’t even say I was in a particular bad place, I just talked to my doctor about how I was feeling and we agreed to try a little more.

    May 18, 2022 at 12:36 pm #1109560

    Bloodymediocrity makes a great point.

    He won’t give up a job for you but you will sacrifice everything? This is not a relationship of soulmates.

    May 18, 2022 at 12:35 pm #1109559

    So, your soulmate didn’t speak to your brother or sister when he went to expressly meet them, in the hopes of getting your family’s permission to ask for your engagement? In which case, he messed up, big time. That’s not really your responsibility. You have one chance for a good first impression. He’s a grown adult man, and I guarantee he knows that. He could have postponed or canceled if he was so devastated by work news. All that’s beyond the point, though.

    I agree that you should talk to your family. How much time did you really spend with him in person? I would hesitate to get engaged to move to another country to be with him. That’s a lot. You’re so young. It’s incredibly risky in the best of circumstances.

    Your family might be on to something? I know that’s hard to hear but when people love and want the best for you sometimes they have dramatic reactions like this when they feel something isn’t right.

    May 16, 2022 at 8:35 am #1109481

    So glad you’re feeling better, LadyE.

    May 11, 2022 at 7:29 pm #1109353

    Congrats Ange!

    May 9, 2022 at 7:53 pm #1109286

    Really cute dress!

    May 4, 2022 at 1:55 pm #1109138

    That’s awesome, Ktfran. My S&BIL went there a few years ago and their pictures are amazing. They are the dual income, no kid travelers I get jealous of.

Viewing 12 posts - 37 through 48 (of 927 total)