Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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  • in reply to: My Sister who has not matured beyond age 4 #873062
    avatarMike_Drave
    Participant

    @ Kate … Your generalisations are of course deeply flawed as all generalisations are.

    One of the major issues with social media is that people read with their own voice; if you understand my meaning.

    All of us no matter where we reside on the great food chain of life, we have to suffer the views of those whom we would never speak with in physical life or even encounter.

    My suggestion to the young lady was to take charge of her own life and make some reasoned choices. She is way old enough to do that. No one was being upbraided or oppressed, simply advised.

    One can only suggest you think about why you have responded as you have; Indeed, where your voice comes from.

    in reply to: “My Parents Play Favorites So I’m Cutting Them Off” #872796
    avatarMike_Drave
    Participant

    My wife and I are both professional people, Myself I retired at 45 yr old some 15 yrs ago now, whilst my wife still pursues her career. We are extremely close as a couple, we act as a Gestalt unit. We have a mantra which goes for both personal and professional life:

    “Anyone can do anything they like, but only we choose who does what, near us”

    You have allowed yourself to become in emotion and bitterness. It would seem you are the throwback in your family who works and achieves. Your parents and brother would not seem to be cut from the same cloth.

    My wife had similar issues and cured them but simply cutting off her family like a guillotine had fallen. Does she miss the endless dross they create in life? No. Not one little bit.

    Likewise I do not talk to my family since my father died; I cannot abide them.

    So either:

    # Put up with them

    Or

    # Do not put up with them.

    It is that simple because you will NOT change them. They will not suddenly become people you find acceptable.

    Ergo …. either pull the plug OR do not bother moaning about the situation.

    in reply to: My Sister who has not matured beyond age 4 #872792
    avatarMike_Drave
    Participant

    This is one, just one of the social problems the internet creates.

    It appears you and your sister do not presently get on … But here you are asking random strangers what they think based on your diatribe … Which is barely legible.

    In my childhood, as I am 60yr old, if you had a problem it was essentially your problem and you worked it out for yourself. If I do not like people, including family, I simple do not talk to them. My wife is all I need.

    So, as advice –

    #1 Just because you fell out of the same woman, does not mean you have to get on.

    #2 You are both at a difficult age. You are just through into puberty and your sister is a child/adult trying to find her way…. with by the sound of it very little useful parental help

    #3 Learn to control yourself and your emotions or you will struggle with adult life – Now is the time to learn. If you have something which annoys you, then ignore it, move away from it. If you see your sister doing something you do not like then put yourself in her shoes and see what she sees.

    What I can guarantee is what you think matters now, in 5 yrs time will mean precisely nothing to you.

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