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Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Portia

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 115 total)
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  • in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #839219
    Portia
    Participant

    A brunch wedding sounds awesome to me! I haven’t been to one before, but I read some accounts on the weddingplanning subreddit and it sounds great, plus generally it sometimes cost a little less.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #807335
    Portia
    Participant

    I’ve been using these onion googles for a few years now: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0014SQU1A/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_.ah5BbF2Q0R10

    They’ve been so useful, I’d recommend them. I’m sure any other onion googles with good reviews would also work well too. One difference between these and normal googles is foam between your face and the glasses part. I wonder if ski googles would work the same, since they’re pretty similar…

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #751093
    Portia
    Participant

    Hm, I wonder if people would use dating profiles as advertisements… Like if you’re good looking enough, you could say something like the guy said (redirect people to an Instagram profile) and gather followers that way.

    in reply to: Gun ownership #741360
    Portia
    Participant

    The current idea about the second amendment is a fairly recent phenomena. I highly recommend listening to More Perfect’s episode about the history of the NRA and gun rights called “The Gun Show”: https://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/audio.wnyc.org/moreperfect/moreperfect101217_thegunshow.mp3.

    Also people seem to forget that the Constitution was really version 2 and it has been added to or changed 27 times.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #739372
    Portia
    Participant

    I vote 10 as well! I agree with Kate that a-line works well for you, but there aren’t a ton of other a-lines in the bunch. I also think the necklines of #8 and #20 looks great on you, but the shapes of those two don’t seem as flattering.

    As for the beach, I think #20 would look great at the beach! Actually, I think it would look better for a beach wedding than a lot of the more lacy dresses you tried on. #19 might also look nice for a beach wedding once it’s tailored.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #735969
    Portia
    Participant

    Hm, that’s odd. Honestly I’m not as sure about upvotes/downvotes. I don’t think votes mean good or bad, and I just looked through my own commenting and posting history and the votes themselves don’t make a lot of sense, especially compared to other subreddits… There seem to be a lot of lurkers who vote in weird ways and I’ve never quite figured that out.

    For comments, though, if say that’s where the usefulness/support is. That is in pretty stark contrast to other wedding boards, if you’ve spent any time on them (theknot, etc.).

    I will say that the posts that seem to get the most traction are when support is really needed (calling off a wedding, venue burned down), when someone is asking for feedback on something specific (makeup/hair trial, invitation mock-ups), pictures (dress shopping, pro shots), and recaps. Most of the time I lurked as well – browsed or searched for topics that had already been covered. There is a wealth of information in there.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #735942
    Portia
    Participant

    Lol TheHizzy! I think I came across the same advice when searching online about mine. I ended up with a different dress in the end, bought about a month before the wedding – I don’t recommend following in my footsteps, that was a little stressful…

    By the way, if you’re looking for a fairly not-judgemental place on the web specific to weddings, I very much recommend Reddit’s weddingplanning subreddit (reddit.com/r/weddingplanning). It was a good resource to me during planning.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #735608
    Portia
    Participant

    Oh, and all our credit cards are joint. Sometimes we’ll decide that something needs to be paid by a specific person, so they’ll just buy it with a card and transfer that amount into the joint account. It doesn’t happen often, but we know what to do when it does.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #735607
    Portia
    Participant

    We took different approaches at different times, depending on what made sense. Before living together, we took turns paying for meals out. When we moved in together, we got a joint checking account that we paid bills and specific expenses (like groceries) out of and I think a joint credit card. We started out by funding that account 50-50, but our individual income situations changed, so we decided he would start paying more into it. We also each maintained our own accounts and credit cards and whatnot.

    After we got married, we had our incomes start going directly into our joint account, but we each maintain some separate pre-marriage accounts. We also have a rather involved prenup so the cash flow decision was part of a larger financial discussion.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #735558
    Portia
    Participant

    Yeah, I’m with Fyodor, Kate, etc. That was pretty presumptuous.

    As a Jewish daughter-in-law to very religious Catholic in-laws, based on my experience, it’s simply not true that it will necessarily be an issue with the parents. My in-laws ended up being more concerned about inviting people and transportation, and my mother-in-law ended up defending our nonreligious ceremony to a few individuals in her family. Obviously that’s not the case with everyone, but it’s not always a thing.

    And MissDre, if his cousin has already given them an example of what a wedding with multiple cultures would look like, I also wouldn’t be too concerned. A large part of what made wedding conversations with my parents hard was that they didn’t have a reference point for what we were doing – they went to these massive weddings where the parents took over the guest lists and they were only in hotel ballrooms, so my sub-100 person wedding not in a ballroom (and without crazy decorations) didn’t compute.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #735373
    Portia
    Participant

    I agree with ktfran, I’m so glad we talked a little about some of those larger ideas before getting engaged (like having a wedding, managing families, etc.). And it’s not like we decided everything before getting engaged, but it was a hell of a lot easier to be firm with our parents on not quadrupling the size of our guest list within a week of our engagement (an actual conversation we had).

    And with a Hindu wedding, depending on the area of India they’re from, it can get complicated fast. For example, a friend is marrying a Hindu guy and having a candle in the ceremony has driven so many decisions throughout their planning because not many venues allow open flames. And that’s only one detail.

    in reply to: Anyone going on awesome dates? #735331
    Portia
    Participant

    I lived in Philadelphia for a while and Quaker (and other self-uniting) weddings were popular among people I knew. Those two were the only ones who were actually Quaker as far as I could tell. I didn’t get into the details with them, but it made me feel hopeful that they could find a religious community that accepted them both.

    My grandma converted to Judaism for my grandpa back in the day. They actually eloped and ran away together, but my grandpa’s family tracked them down and said if she converted, they’d accept her. That side has had a few interfaith marriages since, too, so I think my family wasn’t too concerned about the whole thing… I’m surprised it hasn’t been a deal in my husband’s family, since they have quite a few super-Catholic members (including my in-laws). But as far as I can tell, there hasn’t been too much of a fuss. We love our families, but they all know we’re both very independent.

    And nicknames – I had a friend where the guys she dated would be given nicknames. Usually it had something to do with how she met them or maybe a group/activity they were part of. Some involved Halloween costumes or theater roles…

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