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It was a bit different 25-30 years ago. My bad.
I am still in counseling, I go to the VA hospital psychiatrist every two weeks. I don’t promise my daughter to do things like seeing Santa because for me avoiding places that are likely to set off an anxiety attack is something I think about a lot before we go out. The whole Santa visit was something her mom has been talking to her about for the past few weeks and my daughter is really looking forward to going. She’s 4 years old and I really hate to disappoint her. My closest family lives a couple hours drive away, but we’re not very close. Maybe I can ask my sister if we could visit when she takes her kids?
I do take her to see the lights, they have a couple blocks that are all lit up and you drive through in your car. Costs a little but no worry about attacks. I make her a hot chocolate and she seems to really enjoy it. We have that planned for this Saturday.
I wish I had a friend who could come over dressed as Santa for her. I don’t actually know anyone or have friends. When I do go out of the house I have exactly where I am going and what I am doing there planned out. Ie grocery store pick up milk. I stay on mission and don’t deviate to interact with people as it can lead to problems. I guess it is not very conductive to meeting new friends but it lets me manage risk for the most part.
I will call my sister and see if she is up for taking my daughter to the mall in Dallas when she takes her kids. I think that may be the way to go.
Thanks for the advice, I don’t think of other options very often.
Probably bad advice on my part. I apologize.
Quick question but is this high school stuff? I’m pretty sure this is some old school stuff but if someone was doing what you describe to my sister when we were back in highschool, I would have had a “talk” with him and he wouldn’t have bothered her again. If you don’t have a brother, a cousin or even a friend could work this guy over so he would never bother you again. Some people deserve an ass whipping. Give them what they deserve.December 13, 2019 at 7:02 pm in reply to: I wanna move back with my parents but not hurt my boyfriends feelings #865439
Just tell him, don’t try and sugar coat it.December 13, 2019 at 6:17 pm in reply to: in love with my friend who’s moving away but he feels the same way #865433
Focus on schoolwork, way more important than a relationship.
I’ve always taken the position that I have things at work I am unwilling to negotiate on. I am a smoker and one of the non negotiable things for me is a smoke break. This came up as an issue at a security job where I was told I couldn’t smoke on my breaks even in my car or in the smoking area. Apparently they didn’t want their security guards to be seen smoking during their shift. I told them this was not going to work for me and asked if they would like me to finish the shift or leave immediately. They decided to have me finish my shift and I got a new job the next day.
Point being is you should decide if this is a negotiable issue for you or not and make a decision accordingly.
I hated my ex wife’s dogs. Not so much the dogs themselves but that they weren’t trained to stay off the couch and not jump on people. I also hated that she wouldn’t clean up the mud they tracked in the house. Every day I had to mop the floor and she always said she would do it “later”. Later never came and I just did it myself. Every time I tried to keep them off the couch she would say they were allowed on the couch, even with muddy feet. I guess I fall into the group that doesn’t like the mess associated with having dogs. I guess I just hate cleaning up after them all the time. If your husband is doing a lot of the cleaning up maybe that is part of the problem?December 10, 2019 at 8:02 pm in reply to: Ex wife issues, any advice on plans for the future? #864717
Did it. I don’t think it changed them all though. Ty for the help. I thought it was changing before but apparently not!
Is he a lawyer by chance? Several of the people who graduated with me got their “dream job” after law school and said it was a nightmare. 60-70 hour work weeks for the first few years was normal. The few who stuck it out moved to higher positions which allowed them to work less. I asked one of my friends why stayed with it and he says he works all the new associates the same way he was worked. It may just be a rite of passage for his career. Not saying he needs to put in more effort relationship wise but would it be acceptable for you to not work on his day off so you can connect on that day? It seems like if that would work for you you may be able to weather these ungodly hours.December 9, 2019 at 1:10 pm in reply to: Ex wife issues, any advice on plans for the future? #864320
Good idea, I changed the avatar but not sure how to change the name.
I am not a relationship expert by any definition but in my opinion this doesn’t sound like he wants to be in a relationship with you. If I am reading this correctly, he brought up you sleeping with someone over a year ago before you were exclusive and grilled you about it as an excuse to break up with you after he cheated on you? I would think he is using this as an excuse so he doesn’t feel like an asshole for cheating on you and breaking up with you.
I am in a similar situation with the giving you hope and taking it away. I am trying to get off that merry go round ride and I understand it is difficult. I wish you the best.