Weekend Open Thread

You guys want to hear a funny story? Friday night, my friend jeramy (a woman, not that it really matters) and I went to see our mutual friend, Heather, who’s a dancer perform in a dance down in the east village. Jeramy and I went to a speakeasy bar first and then had a quick bite at a sushi place next door and then headed to the theater for the show. As soon as we sat down I realized that I had to pee bad enough that if I didn’t go before the show, I was going to be very uncomfortable about halfway through, so I went through the double doors in the back and up the flight of stairs to where the bathrooms were located. But the women’s bathroom was locked and so was the men’s and not in a way that made me think they were just occupied. They seemed locked-locked. I really had to go but I knew the show was about to start and what could I do if the bathrooms were both locked anyway, so I turned around to head back downstairs, and the door that I had come through was now locked. All the doors all around me were locked. I frantically tried to find any door that might get me out and finally found one at the end of a narrow hallway that too me to another staircase and deposited me outside the theater. I quickly ran around to the front and – guess what! — all the doors were locked! And there was a sign on the door that said “Performance in Progress. No Late Entries. DO NOT KNOCK!”

I didn’t have my purse with me, so no phone, no wallet, no jacket, no nothing. I had no choice but to wait outside the theater until the end of the performance. I still had to pee really bad though so I wandered around the east village looking for some bar or restaurant or something I could sort of sneak into and take a leek. Once that was accomplished, I ducked into a couple clothing stores and tried on clothes, which I never have time to do in my real life where I’m not usually locked out of a theater. I found some pants I liked on sale at Urban Outfitters of all places (I haven’t shopped for clothes there in at least five years), but of course, no wallet.

I knew the performance would be roughly an hour, so I headed back to the theater around 9, a few minutes before the door swung open and almost hit me in the face. I was able to get inside and retrieve my stuff and tell my friends what happened. And I got a refund for my ticket. Which I spent on a pedicure the next day because it’s suddenly sandal weather here.

All in all, it could have been much worse, and at least I got a story out of it.