Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread

Well, that’s it from me for 2018. I’ll be spending the next few days with family and friends and gearing up for what I hope will be a fantastic 2019. Thank you so much for spending some of your year here, whether you are a lurker, a prolific commenter, a daily reader, do a once-in-while check-in, or just found the site today (Welcome! Here’s a little about me), I am grateful for your energy, your time, and your thoughts. I’m wishing you all the best for a prosperous and healthy new year.

Here are a few of my favorite posts from this year:

“How Do I Find Meaning in Life Without a Wife and Kids?”

“When Do You Know It’s Time to Break Up With Someone?”

Updates: “Not Interested in That Path” Responds

How Are You?

Lessons From Divorce

“I Took A DNA Test and Discovered I Was Conceived with Donor Sperm”

A Dating Tip I Disagree With

Kavanaugh Vs. Women

Write the Happiest Story You Can in Four Words

“Isn’t Life Boring and Lonely Without a Relationship?”

34 comments… add one
  • ktfran December 29, 2018, 4:51 pm

    Happy New Year!

    I’m at the Goodman Theater with the husband and his parents waiting for Santaland Diaries to begin. This is a perfect, sarcastic end to the Christmas holiday as I head into 2019. The last year of my 30s (as my birthday is in two and a half weeks). Cheers to 2019.

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    • JD December 30, 2018, 7:03 am

      Happy almost birthday!

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  • JD December 30, 2018, 7:13 am

    Still debating if we will do something for NYE. Not really motivated to go out, spend a fortune on dinner (plus most places here SUCKKKK), be stuck with the crowds, etc. I also am not into driving on such an unsafe night, plus it’s been cold so there will be some ice on the road.

    Also have had little interest in going out the past few nights as not only has it been cold, which I can handle to an extent, but windy, which I DO NOT handle to any extent.

    Thinking of making some filet’s we got from grandma from Omaha steaks and a movie binge. Pretty surprised at the quality of their meat so far. I thought it was supposed to be some great thing but the other filet’s had a good amount of gristle (which I really never see in a filet) and the pork chops were pretty tough. Not complaining about the very nice gift, just surprised since I had been led to believe by people they were really good.

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    • ktfran December 30, 2018, 8:37 am

      I don’t think we’re doing much this year either. Friends schedules are a little messy and we’ve been going nonstop since the first week of December. We’re headed to the store in a bit to pick up filets and lobster tails.

      I thought the steaks were supposed to be really good too. That sucks JD.

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      • JD December 30, 2018, 8:41 am

        Ya I was surprised. Not sure if it just wasn’t a great batch or what. I much prefer the butcher near our house. When I grew up I remember we had a meat delivery service. Once every three months or so they came and delivered enough to fill a freezer in our garage. Also includes sides (if you want) and desserts and such. The quality was always great and it was way cheaper plus you always has food on hand. When we have the room for an additional freezer outside I will for sure look into something like that again.

      • Kate December 30, 2018, 8:58 am

        We had that too! It was called Rich Plan, and they put a big freezer in our basement and filled it with meat, veggies, popsicles, etc. My mom would send us down to the basement to get food for dinner. With the plan we got a free microwave, so we were like the first people I knew to have one in the early 80s.

        I thought Omaha Steaks was good too, but I wondered how they could make the price soooo low. For a while my parents were sending it regularly to my cousin’s family and paying their mortgage as well because they were having some hard times. My impression was it was pretty good quality.

      • JD December 30, 2018, 9:03 am

        I know grandma always sends this to my husband so I’m sure we will try it again. Hoping it just wasn’t a great batch or something. Could make sense like you said why their prices are so low. Ha I too remember mom telling me to go pull meat out. I miss having a second fridge/freezer right now. We find some really good deals sometimes and can only fit so much in ours. I had to tell husband to stop with the turkeys recently as he kept finding them for 50 cents a pound at the commissary. Great deal but I was out of room.

  • Kate December 30, 2018, 8:02 am

    I do like to see/hear a good party cover band on NYE. For years we used to chip in on this ski house in Killington VT and go out to the Pickle Barrel “night club,” which had two bands.

    Last year we looked up where this guy was playing who my husband used to go see 25+ years ago when he was in college in Boston. He’s really good, he plays guitar and sings, and sometimes he’s in Boston but he’s moved to NH now that he’s a dad and stuff. So last year he was playing with his full band at this new function hall in NH, and that was a HOOT – the buffet with roast beef and all the Real Housewives of Manchester. It was really fun and we danced a lot.

    This year he’s playing acoustic at some bar up there but we feel like we need to stick close to home due to various people’s state of health. So I think what we’ll do is go to this new Japanese place for dinner and then over to the big Irish joint in town which is having a rock/pop cover band in the back room. I think cover is only $20. We did it once before and it was good. I’m not into paying $100+ for jackshit, but that big NH thing last year was totally worth $75 for full dinner and live band. I want to say at least part of it was open bar too. It was like a wedding.

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    • Kate December 30, 2018, 8:09 am

      Oh and the dog came with us to NH last year and sat in the armchair in the hotel room with the heat blasting and watched the NYE broadcast on TV. He seemed really into it. I’ll probably leave it on for him this year too.

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      • JD December 30, 2018, 8:12 am

        That’s too cute!

      • ktfran December 30, 2018, 8:30 am


      • Kate December 30, 2018, 8:33 am

        He’s elderly and always chilly, so it was the perfect night in for him. He seems to be into Game of Thrones lately, but it could be just because the TV room is the one room we don’t open the windows to counteract the aggressive heat in this place.

    • anonymousse December 31, 2018, 11:39 am

      Ha ha Kate. The pickle barrel. I grew up in the Killington area!

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      • Kate December 31, 2018, 11:43 am

        Did you go there on NYE?!

      • anonymousse December 31, 2018, 11:52 am

        I did! Probably in the early aughts. I can’t remember any headliners which must mean I had a good time.

  • Fyodor December 30, 2018, 2:03 pm

    We’re in the Florida Keys this week with my parents, my siblings, and their families. Not sure if we will be doing anything for NYE. We have to leave early for airport and spend a few hours getting HOF* from my in laws when we land so we may be too old and tired to do anything.

    A happy healthy 2019 to everyone, free of weird entanglements with exes, lascivious personal trainers, deficient bris invites, and confounding failures to use contraception.


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    • Fyodor December 30, 2018, 2:04 pm

      HOF=loyal Hound of Fyodor, who I’ve missed on vacation.

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      • JD December 30, 2018, 5:09 pm

        Aww. I always think it’ll be nice to have a few dog free dates ( no barking, being walked in the snow, waking me up) then miss them so much one day in.

    • ktfran December 30, 2018, 6:46 pm

      I can’t wait to update you all on my lurid affair with my physics therapist. Fingers crossed the pull out method works.

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      • ktfran December 30, 2018, 6:49 pm

        * physical therapist. Or physics. Whatever. I’ve been drinking since 11:00.

      • Fyodor December 30, 2018, 7:14 pm

        All those lonely housewives getting seduced by the local physics instructor.

      • JD December 30, 2018, 7:17 pm

        My husband just misheard me and thought I said to get some Pampers and was trying to figure out if I was telling him I was pregnant. Ha. Asked me if it was the trainers. ?

  • JD December 31, 2018, 8:48 am

    I was thinking of some things last night (must have had some odd dreams as I woke up with a Jewel song in my head, which i surely haven’t listened to since HS) and thought of my wishes for the new year. I don’t do resolutions but I kind of thought about manifesting what you want and how people talk about keeping those positive thoughts in your mind to help make it happen.

    My number one wish this year is of course to get pregnant. That to a huge extent must be a wish as a lot of it is out of our hands. Husband has surgery soon and I am really hoping/wishing/praying/anything all goes well with that and we are successful.

    I’m also wishing for a better relationship with my son (stepson). It isn’t bad but could use some improvements, mostly due to a slight difference in how husband and i were brought up. I’m a bit tougher than he is and he tends to be more lenient due to have a pretty abusive and awful mother. Fear of son feeling even close to how he did. He’s a great father though and really shouldn’t worry about that but he does. So hoping we both can meet more in the middle. I don’t do the discipline really but sometimes it comes up that I do have to do some of course. He backs me up and is great about it but we still could get better. It is still new enough that we are all navigating the whole situation.

    My last wish is that we decide for sure we will be in Utah by next summer (not this coming summer). We decided we about 90% will but our deadline to fully commit is this time next year. It works for us for many reasons among them me being near my mother, especially once baby comes along.

    I thought the hopes for the year and having positive thoughts about the outcomes would be a better way to start off.

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  • Kate December 31, 2018, 8:54 am

    I just had a fan girl conversation with Elizabeth Warren’s husband Bruce at the park. My husband was trying to low key look at this golden retriever’s tag, and the guy goes, that’s Bailey. And I’m like, oh, you’re Bruce! Because I look at her insta. So then I told him I’m not trying to be creepy, but I have her action figure and I was on the radio saying I’d vote for her, and to please thank her for continuing to stand up for us. He said if things weren’t so crazy she wouldn’t have to keep doing this. He got her the puppy to try to be normal. He said she’s releasing a video today to announce her 2020 presidential run, which she did. Idk about the presidency… urg.

    And then Bailey and his friend were playing chase and ran right over my dog and knocked him down, but Bailey no shit came back and made sure my dog was ok. He actually seemed concerned and like he was apologizing.

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  • anonymousse December 31, 2018, 11:50 am

    We’re staying in tonight and making/eating delicious foods. I bought a ton of stuff for a charcuterie plate and we’re making little apps in puff pastry and stuff like that. It’s my last hurrah with unhealthy food for awhile. I’ve gained some weight in the suburbs. I need to find a place to exercise more frequently. People drive crazy around here so I’m actually afraid of riding my bike or running near my house.

    I’m making a more/less list today.
    Like more:
    Going out with my husband

    News media
    Screen time
    Le Croix

    Happy New Year!

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    • JD December 31, 2018, 12:29 pm

      Less Amazon!! Nooo!!!

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  • TheHizzy December 31, 2018, 12:18 pm

    We were a revolving door for the kids this year in their times of need. I am glad we were able to make those sacrifices to help them all get on their feet, but now if they flounder we have to just watch and try to guide.

    2019 will include 2 family weddings (one being my own), several trips to coordinate, but first! A trip with just FMH and I to one of our favorite places to relax from the last 8 months of 2018. We leave in less than 20 days.

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    Dear Wendy December 31, 2018, 1:33 pm

    I have a cold and we’re staying in tonight (we’d be staying in anyway even if I didn’t have a cold, but whatever), hopefully getting the kids shortly after 8 (they usually go to bed at 7:45 but we’ll let them stay up “late” for a fake countdown at 8 pm), and then I’m cooking some filet mignon for drew and me, with roasted sweet potatoes and Brussel spouts. Our roofer just came by and dropped off a bottle of Moet Chandon which we’ll drink tonight. Does anyone else have a roofer(a handsome greek roofer, but don’t tell drew I said so) who brings greek treats and fancy bottles of champagne when he patches your roof? Today was his fourth time here in a month – he keeps patching the roof and then it rains and the kids’ bedroom ceiling continues to leak. Hopefully, whatever he did today fixed it finally, but we will know tonight when it rains again.

    Anyway, I was in bed sick all day yesterday and finished this book I got from the library a few days ago. It’s so good! I showered this morning and got dressed and put on mascara and went grocery shopping and now I am totally wiped out and put my joggers back on and have crawled back into bed. Maybe until it’s time to cook dinner. Colds suck!

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    • JD December 31, 2018, 1:37 pm

      Feel better Wendy. Also on the filet wagon tonight, although have yet to decide on sides, but I always have plenty of veggies so that’s easy….and my famous mashed potatoes because they are easy and husband loves them. I don’t eat that much red meat so looking forward to tonight.

      Hope you feel better soon and the kids let you sleep early. Sounds like the kind of roofer I need!!

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    • TheHizzy January 1, 2019, 2:23 pm

      FMH is still battling the left over cough from the sickness that came through. I had it for 3 weeks post sickness. Hopefully his will be gone soon.

      Feel better Wendy.

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    • K January 2, 2019, 12:36 pm

      Wendy, I just put that book on my “to read” list a couple of days ago!

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    Bittergaymark December 31, 2018, 2:53 pm

    Going to group dinner downtown I should have said no to before the group hits a Pink Martini concert I DID say No to. Not exactly in the mood to put on a really big act — but somehow I always do. Anyway, it’s just a quick dinner. I’ll treat it like an improv show.

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