Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread and Links

Earlier this week we had a deleted post in which a lot of you vented a bit about the stresses you’re all under these days. I don’t think there’s anyone among us who isn’t feeling at least a little bit anxious, and even though that particular post was up for less than 24 hours and I didn’t respond to many comments (or maybe not any? I can’t remember), I read every single one and found myself nodding to a few and feeling a lot of empathy for everyone. These are scary, challenging times we’re in, to say the least. Thank you for sharing some of your worries here, for supporting one another, and for making this a community at a time when it’s most needed. I hope everyone has a restful holiday weekend and can enjoy the company of at least a few loved ones.

Here are some links you might find interesting:

“Let me say the quiet part loud: In the Covid-19 economy, you’re allowed only a kid or a job.

Why isn’t anyone talking about this? Why are we not hearing a primal scream so deafening that no plodding policy can be implemented without addressing the people buried by it? Why am I, a food blogger best known for such hits as the All-Butter Really Flaky Pie Dough and The ‘I Want Chocolate Cake’ Cake, sounding the alarm on this? I think it’s because when you’re home schooling all day, and not performing the work you were hired to do until the wee hours of the morning, and do it on repeat for 106 days (not that anyone is counting), you might be a bit too fried to funnel your rage effectively.”

— Smitten Kitchen’s Deb Perelman articulates what’s been on the minds of many working parents of school-aged children these past almost four months.

(Also interesting about Perelman’s essay is how much it seems to have resonated with mothers, but not really fathers. It was shared on my social media timelines by a number of people – probably yours, too, if you have parents in your circle – and NONE of them were dads. They were all moms. I think there’s a follow-up article there…)

Related: Nearly 3 in 4 US moms were in the workforce before the COVID-19 pandemic – is that changing?

Vulnerable workers on the stress of returning to the office.

This is a powerful essay: You Want a Confederate Monument? My Body Is a Confederate Monument.

A longtime DW reader shared an experience I wanted to amplify/draw attention to. She is a Black educator who hosted a Zoom event with 350 other Black female educators. “Despite having strict security settings in place,” she wrote, “thirty minutes into my event, it was hacked and horrifically zoom-bombed with a disgusting pornographic video, racial slurs and songs, and ‘Trump 2024’ splashed across the screen. In hindsight, I realize that I’m likely the target of a coordinated campaign that has seen both my old Instagram and one of my email accounts hacked days prior to this attack, and I’m taking the appropriate steps with authorities to address this. These acts of digital domestic terrorism must be stopped.” You can learn more on Twitter (where you can also help amplify her experience), and you can follow her on Instagram at @tectalktecsolve. I’ve reached out to a friend in TV news who said that this is actually a thing that her network has covered and will likely do a follow-up on. So I guess you can add ‘Zooming While Black’ as yet another thing that invites assault…

A Massachusetts city will recognize polyamorous relationships as part of new domestic partnership ordinance

And from the offices of “Yeah, no duh”: Stress of pandemic has negative impact on mental health and relationships, study shows

Finally, this could be a fun, easy way to improve your mental health as well as someone else’s: Assisted living home residents are in need of pen pals in this time of isolation.

4 comments… add one
  • Kate July 5, 2020, 11:33 am

    Fuck everything!

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    • ktfran July 5, 2020, 7:52 pm


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  • Mrs. Danvers July 8, 2020, 7:53 am

    I think that it was in Spain where families were paid for paternal leave as well as maternal leave. When the men stayed home with the kid(s), they often didn’t want to have more children but the women did. Thus, when the women had more help, they were open to having more children but when the men stepped into the woman’s role of caretaker, they didn’t.

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  • Mrs. Danvers July 8, 2020, 7:56 am

    My heart breaks over “Zooming While Black.” I read this in an article about white people who had organized a BLM demonstration in a small (and not surprisingly racist) town in Ohio that did not go very well due to nearly a thousand counter demonstrators. “There’s a lot of processing, and reckoning — particularly among the white participants — that what they experienced was just a brief window into what people of color experience navigating a world still shaped, in every corner, by white supremacy.”

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