Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread and Links

Oh, hey, it’s Friday again! How was your week? Mine was amazing. Just kidding. It was mostly like every other week for the past seven months. We did get away last weekend though for a quick trip upstate, which was really nice. Do you have any plans for the weekend? I’m going to watch movies, get my hair cut, and bake pumpkin bars with Joanie. Hope you have a good one, and here are some links you might find interesting.

To the 865,000 women who left the workforce last month …

Women, we are in the fight of our lives

Single Parents Finding Love: Over Zoom, of Course

Shocker: “That advice to women to ‘lean in’, be more confident… it doesn’t help, and data show it”

15 comments… add one
  • anonymousse October 16, 2020, 5:31 pm

    I’m struggling a bit. I had a legitimate anxiety attack last month, which has actually turned into a good thing because now I am taking medicine for anxiety when my heart starts hurting.

    My son is having a surgery next week and I (having never had a surgery) am swinging from being terrified something will go wrong (because it’s 2020) and rationally knowing it’s routine and not a big deal and he’ll be okay.

    I am eagerly looking forward to the end of this hellacious year. I don’t believe in god or spirits but I’ve been praying to whatever might be out there to send us some good news.

    Sorry to be such a downer!

    Reply Link
    • ktfran October 17, 2020, 8:43 am

      I’m sorry anonymousse. I’m sending you and your family good thoughts, especially to your son for a successful surgery and recovery.

      Reply Link
    • Part-time Lurker October 17, 2020, 9:13 am

      Everyone has days when they need a little extra support. 🙂

      Reply Link
    • kali October 17, 2020, 1:39 pm


      Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy October 17, 2020, 2:10 pm

      Hope the surgery is uneventful and successful!

      Reply Link
    • anonymousse October 19, 2020, 9:06 am


      Reply Link
  • Sara October 17, 2020, 8:36 am

    Wendy which pumpkin bar recipe do you use? Also if anyone has any good Netflix/amazon/Hulu/etc show or movie recommendations please share 🙂

    Reply Link
    • Copa October 17, 2020, 9:48 am

      We’ve been watching Ratched on Netflix and like it enough to keep going. I’m not usually into scary shows or movies, but I started Haunting of Bly Manor last night (had to turn an episode off with five minutes to go because I knew the big scare jump was coming — ha!). It’s the follow-up to Haunting of Hill House, which I thought was great, so although I haven’t read reviews, I have high hopes.

      For lighter watches, I loved Schitt’s Creek. I got into that show late last year and quickly finished the series when things shut down last spring. Also liked The Good Place.

      On Amazon, we’re only on season two, but Man in the High Castle is great.

      Reply Link
      • Kate October 17, 2020, 10:40 am

        Bly Manor isn’t as scary as Hill House. It’s also not as good, but it is entertaining and worth watching.

    • Dear Wendy October 17, 2020, 2:10 pm

      I’m still looking for a good recipe – it’s been years since I made them and I don’t remember what recipe I used in the past.

      Reply Link
  • visualr October 17, 2020, 1:04 pm

    it is entertaining

    Reply Link
  • kali October 17, 2020, 1:38 pm

    I’m just celebrating being alive! Seven long years today ago I heard the words “We think you have cancer” and my world went spinning out of control. After intensive chemo for stage IV ovarian cancer, robotic surgery, more chemo, and then maintenance chemo, I was in a short-lived remission. Fast forward through more chemo, more surgery, a clinical trial and another all-too-brief remission and I’m still here.

    At the time of my diagnosis, Dr. Google said my odds of living 5 more years were 12% with treatment and five months without. My GYN surgeon told me no to look up any stats on the internet but I already had. It didn’t matter. Those numbers just made me more determined than ever that I was going to be in that 12 %. And now I’m well past five years.

    Yes, I still get chemo infusions every three weeks and periodic scans. My diet is impacted a bit and I have a few other issues I won’t bore you with BUT I’M HERE! I’ve been in quarantine since before COVID-19 was a thing so this is old hat to me. I’ve learned to tailor my activities and expectations to what’s available and safe for me. But I’m still here. Going to celebrate with an adult beverage of some sort today and I invite you all to join in! Life is good.

    Reply Link
  • Kitnkabutle October 18, 2020, 12:18 am

    I live in the town about the missed connection and even belong to that fb group. I really feel for single parents, especially now with covid and distance learning. Wishing them all the best for making new connections.

    Reply Link
  • Kate October 18, 2020, 10:37 am

    Re: the Lean In article, here’s the thing. Acting confident is always a good thing, it just is. It’s better to act competent, confident that you can do the job, ask the right questions, and figure out how to do it, than act like you don’t think you can do it. What they don’t touch on in that article is that you have to manage and ask for your own promotions. I don’t know if I ever got a promotion I didn’t ask for and be persistent about. Now, probably men don’t have to do that (or as much). But women do, and it’s part of being confident. I do not disagree with their conclusion that women shouldn’t have to change, workplaces should change, BUT I did want to point out that women should be really direct and also strategic about asking for raises and promotions.

    Reply Link
    • Kate October 18, 2020, 10:46 am

      I just asked for $10 more an hour just for the hell of it when my boss was extending my contract. I got $5. It cost me nothing to ask, and that’s $800 more a month, $10k more a year. And it’s going right into brokerage and savings.

      Reply Link

Leave a Comment