Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread and Links

I meant to post this on Friday and got distracted, but who’s paying close attention to days of the week anymore anyway, right? Hope you all are having a restful weekend. We’re looking forward to a snow storm tonight and throughout tomorrow and hope that motivates the kids to bundle up and get outside (it’s sooo hard to get them out these days). Enjoy your Sunday! Or whatever day of the week it is.

Turns out global pandemics aren’t an aphrodisiac: There’s No Coronavirus Baby Boom — It’s More Like a Baby Bust

Related: Sperm supply is low, so women created an underground supply network

Parents who are teleworking are also having a harder time getting their work done without interruptions: Half of parents who are working from home all or most of the time say it has been somewhat or very difficult.

It is a particular challenge for teleworking parents with children under 18 at home and who have child care duties while working from home. About six-in-ten of these parents (63%) say it’s been difficult for them to get their work done without interruptions since the pandemic started. This compares with only 24% of teleworking parents who don’t have much or any child care duties while working.

— Ya don’t say! A rising share of working parents in the U.S. say it’s been difficult to handle child care during the pandemic

The Pandemic is Hard Enough. For Some, Being Single Has Made it Harder.

What I Learned About Love When I Stopped Being Honest

What do you think about giving up booze as an act of resistance against the patriarchy? A new movie explores this idea: ‘Promising Young Woman,’ Covid and the women giving up alcohol to fight the patriarchy

“The small joys of running into an old co-worker or chatting with the bartender at your local might not be the first thing you think of when imagining the value of friendship—images of more intentional celebrations and comforts, such as birthday parties and movie nights, might come to mind more easily. But Rawlins says that both kinds of interactions meet our fundamental desire to be known and perceived, to have our own humanity reflected back at us. “A culture is only human to the extent that its members confirm each other,” he said, paraphrasing the philosopher Martin Buber. “The people that we see in any number of everyday activities that we say, Hey, how you doing? That’s an affirmation of each other, and this is a comprehensive part of our world that I think has been stopped, to a great extent, in its tracks.”

The Pandemic Has Erased Entire Categories of Friendships

I know nothing about this movie, In and of Itself, except that I’ve seen three social media posts this morning that all said the exact same thing: “Stop what you are doing and watch this, now.” So, I guess that’s what’s I’m doing today.

8 comments… add one
  • Camille January 31, 2021, 12:22 pm

    I am so interested about the data on a baby bust. I work in maternity in the UK and in our local area we definitely are experiencing a boom and are so busy at the moment!

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    MaterialsGirl January 31, 2021, 3:25 pm

    Interesting on the booze thing. A number of people I’ve seen (women) in my social media circle have given up booze recently and certainly have taken the empowerment approach. Since I was sober for the majority of the pandemic (pregnancy), it was interesting and sometimes scary to watch the progression of drinking some of my friends got into. I almost think being pregnant saved me (and prolly my husband too) from imbibing more than would be acceptable (to us).
    My problem is that I really like wine, beer and a good cocktail. I like to learn, visit vineyards, have that belly up to the bar experience, but I do understand the line between that and “need” for a good time. I guess that’s why the “mommy juice” thing just seemed a little too over the top for me. Something to sell a few T-shirts.

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    • ktfran January 31, 2021, 8:14 pm

      My drinking hasn’t really picked up during the pandemic. I’d say it’s approximately the same, just different because I don’t eat out as much. I have a healthy relationship with alcohol. The only thing that changed is I learned a couple of cocktail recipes. Prior, I’d only drink a cocktail before dinner then wine with dinner if out on the town.

      However, the husband’s drinking picked up significantly and I didn’t like it so I suggested a dry January lite. To get him to agree, I said it could be no drinks during the week and weekends were fine. I’ll take any wins.

      I’m going to try to keep it going in February.

      I do feel like I’m punishing myself a little. When work is really stressful, I’m tense and having trouble sleeping, one glass of wine helps. Not a big glass and no more than one. More than that also doesn’t help my sleeping. But I’m ok with it if it gets the husband to curb his drinking.

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      Copa February 1, 2021, 11:13 am

      My drinking did increase pretty drastically early on in COVID. My boyfriend’s increased a little, too, but I’m the one whose habits changed more because I drank less often in the first place. I like a nice glass of wine, I like a good cocktail. I don’t know that I’d say my drinking was a *problem* when it increased, but I didn’t like it and didn’t want to form any bad habits that might stick when life goes back to normal. So I’ve pulled back big time over the last month. I used to drink on weekends only with maybe an occasional glass of wine after a rough day at work. My boyfriend said he was going to pull back, too, but hasn’t… his drinking isn’t problematic to me, though, so I haven’t felt like I need to say something.

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        MaterialsGirl February 2, 2021, 5:46 am

        Pre-pregnancy my drinking had picked up significantly.. almost like a “get it in beforehand/send off.” Nothing problematic, but opening a bottle of wine every night for dinner was getting to be too much. There’s always a need to dry out a little post holidays (same with getting back to a regular diet!).
        We’ve been doing this since before the pandemic, but really started to meal plan once it all happened in order to limit grocery stores runs. Planning a smoothie night and a cereal night (plus an easy meal) means at least three non-drinking nights a week. It may not seem super significant, but the having more planned wines around meals felt more controlled than just stress drinking.
        We made a new batch of shrubs (drinking vinegars) which are a delicious/interesting non-alcoholic sipper if anyone needs some recipes.

    • Karebear1813 February 1, 2021, 1:08 pm

      I’ve never liked the “mom wine culture” or “mommies juice” memes. Alcohol is a sedative and a depressant. Alcohol actually does the opposite when it comes to relaxing a person. It is fine at first but long term use creates codependency and obviously affects the brain negatively. But even in short term use, alcohol makes one irritable, depressed, and increases anxiety, which as a parent, it just adds more stress. Any parent needs to cut back their alcohol intake but women are becoming more alcoholics and that is scary given they are the primary caregivers. Men need to step up and become more supportive partners to allow a women to have healthy options for destressing. Exercising is one the best way to destress. Women also need to take accountability for their actions when they decide to choose alcohol as a way of relaxing. I see a lot of celebrities’ embracing this wine culture life but they have nannies . The older I have got the less I care about drinking, even in social settings. I like a nice cold beer at times but my body is so sensitive to alcohol. I cant drink wine without getting a headache. I have a sister, who is in rehab due to being an alcoholic. She lost custody of her kids and is living in a halfway house right now. It has taken her 13yrs to accept this crippling disease.

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  • anonymousse January 31, 2021, 3:58 pm

    I was never a big drinker but I stopped drinking pretty early on in the pandemic. Drinking had always made me physically feel like shit. I did really enjoy the taste of beer, wine and some cocktails but after a few months, I stopped missing it. I’ve had a glass of wine or beer once in a while but every time I get a headache and I’m like, “Oh yeah, I actually don’t really like this.”

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    Dear Wendy January 31, 2021, 9:32 pm

    Just tried to watch In and Of Itself and I had to turn it off after 15 minutes. Was like watching a Ted Talk.

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