Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread and Links

It’s still cold in NYC, but the sun is shining and we’ve had enough warm days that the snow has melted and the garbage has been collected off the streets. (I don’t understand why garbage collectors don’t pick up the garbage where there’s any snow on the ground, but they don’t and it gets really nasty. There were mornings last months with bags of garbage, recently brought out from inside warm homes, literally steamed in piles on the freezing streets.) Anyhoo, the sun is shining and each week the light at the end of this long tunnel seems a little closer. Despite the one-year anniversary of the pandemic looming next week, I’m feeling hopeful for what might be a really good summer (and maybe even a decent spring). How about you? How are you feeling?

And here are a few links that might interest you:

Covid and friendships: the health cost of a year without socialising

Fellow Gen-X’ers: who else watched the first episode of the The Real World reunion series last night? I watched with eager anticipation and had all the feels. The show premiered when I was 15 and I thought the idea of being 20, an artist, and living in an NYC loft was like the coolest thing ever. Now the show feels like such a time capsule of that era that sat right on the cusp of the digital age, before people became personal brands and everyone was suddenly reachable 24-7.

Who’s looking forward to watching Oprah’s interview with Harry and Meghan this weekend? I ordinarily don’t care about the royals, but I suspect they’re going to spill some tea and that this might be one of those era-defining interviews.

This Ask Amy column sort of sums up some of the issues Covid has wrought on friendships and relationships.

This parenting article was interesting and made me feel better about the more hands-off approach I take with my kids: There’s a Better Way to Parent: Less Yelling, Less Praise. (The yelling part I’m getting better at, but it’s been a long journey so far).

It Was COVID. I’m A Single Mom. Casual Sex Was My Lifeline.

Maybe related to this topic: There may be 300,000 fewer births this year because of the pandemic—and it matters

What’s Missing from a Pandemic Marriage? Other People

12 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Kate March 7, 2021, 7:14 am

    Kazuo Ishiguro (The Remains of the Day, Never Let Me Go) has a new book out.

    https://www.amazon.com/Klara-Sun-novel-Kazuo-Ishiguro-ebook/dp/B08B7V6CQ8/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=klara+and+the+sun&qid=1615118893&sprefix=kl&sr=8-1

    I’m 60% through it on Kindle, so I don’t know the ending, but it’s beautiful and if you liked Never Let Me Go, you should like this one. And I think the ending must deliver because it has really good reviews.

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    • avatar

      Kate March 7, 2021, 2:47 pm

      Ok wow, damn, that was sad.

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    Bittergaymark March 8, 2021, 4:04 pm

    Gee… so Meghan wrestled with suicide? Please. Try dealing with suicide ideation in a shitty apartment with no Palace, Prince, or millions in the bank… that’s when suicide REALLY starts to make sense.

    That anybody even takes this shit seriously is both laughable — and sad.

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    • avatar

      Kate March 10, 2021, 6:18 am

      Another disgusting comment attacking a woman of color.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 10, 2021, 6:25 am

        Also perpetuating dangerous mental health stigmas, nice job.

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      • avatar

        Dear Wendy March 10, 2021, 12:00 pm

        Yeah, this is Piers Morgan- level BS.

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    • avatar

      Bittergaymark March 10, 2021, 2:25 pm

      Oh, I believe Meghan battled racism constantly from the British Press. And from those in the Palace. A quick google search confirms this. I just don’t know that I buy the suicide ideation angle. But then I perhaps have a rather narrow and very personal view of suicide right now.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 10, 2021, 2:42 pm

        Yeah, that’s really inappropriate and harmful to say you don’t believe someone has mental health issues or is suicidal. For reasons that should be pretty obvious.

        And to say that you believe Meghan was subjected to racism but couldn’t have been suicidal suggests you don’t really see the impact of racism.

        Also, you’re old enough to remember Diana going through similar struggles. She had postpartum depression and wanted to die. She was also married to a prince. Anyone at any socioeconomic level can have these struggles. You’re not more entitled to feeling shitty or wanting to die.

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      • avatar

        Stillbittergaymark March 10, 2021, 3:19 pm

        As somebody battling total career failure, who now faces the very real grim reality of most likely being forever broke and stuck in a awful one room apartment eating food from the 99 Cent Store — I admit… I have a hard time seeing how anybody can literally have millions upon millions in the bank along with the very real capacity to make still more millions and not see a way out.

        As somebody who well remembers the sordid saga of Diana, it amazes me that anybody would even bother marrying into that woefully fucked up house. Honestly? I remain baffled that her mistreatment came as much of a shock to her. I guess love is blind and overly optimistic. But The Firm rather revealed rather plainly how awful it was decades ago all through out the days of Diana. So, yeah, I have trouble believing Meghan was THAT naive. But… perhaps she was.

        You know what? I envy her. I’ll admit it. Few on the planet have the financial opportunities that now lie before her. She’s gorgeous. She’s talented. And she’s been awfully lucky with regards to her career. (Anybody that successful in Hollywood typically thanks their good luck.)

        But the world is chock full of the talented UNLUCKY. And it’s going to get awfully, awfully ugly in the coming months. Millions are suddenly facing real financial crisis — with very few reaching out to help. Funny. Everybody will for praise Meghan for raising awareness — yet still be shocked and surprised when their broke best friend is later found dead with their head in the oven. Even though they should have known damn well their friend had to be struggling. They just didn’t care to see it. Or be bothered.

        Anyway, people best brace themselves for the second wave of deaths. The suicides. The “accidental” overdoses. And the other “accidents.” I’ve been to the message boards. Trust me. They’re coming.

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      • avatar

        allathian March 12, 2021, 7:13 am

        The thing is that while a lack of money is pretty certain to cause unhappiness when you don’t know where the next lunch is going to come from and there’s no security in your life, a gilded cage is no guarantee for happiness. Sure, a wealthy person will have more resources to reach out for help. Meghan did, but the royal family was no more willing to help her than it was willing to help Diana. Even if everything seems perfect to outsiders, it’s still possible to be profoundly unhappy, and it seems like Meghan was. At least she has the support of her husband.

        Misery’s not a competition.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 12, 2021, 7:48 am

        This isn’t about your situation at all, Mark. It’s just not okay to say you don’t believe someone about their mental health struggles. I saw a post on social media that really makes the point – maybe Meghan Markle won’t see your comments about how you don’t believe her, but your friends and family will, and they’re not going to want to share their struggles. You using a public forum like Wendy’s site to say gross things about how someone must be lying about her suicidal ideation adds to the overall problem. Sure, come on here every other day complaining about your life and saying you want to end it. You get to do that. But don’t use this platform to argue that anyone else shouldn’t be able to do the same. That’s seriously awful.

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      • avatar

        Kate March 12, 2021, 7:52 am

        Also, nice job doubling down on your insults of Meghan Markle: She was dumb to marry into the royal family, should have known better (victim blaming), and was lucky to find the success she did – while tripling down on your claims not to believe her. Disgusting.

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