Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread and Links

If you’re on Instagram and follow anyone in the Northeast (like me!), you surely already know that it snowed here overnight. To New Yorkers, the first significant snowfall of the season is nearly as exciting as the first 65-degree day in early spring, when friends and neighbors strip down to shorts and bare arms and frolic in the not-yet-green-again fields of our favorite urban parks and act as if we haven’t seen each other in months. And, truly, some of us do go months without seeing others during the cold, bleak Northeast winters. But, always, we are granted brief respite from the dreariness in early snowfalls, when the white stuff is still fresh, before cars and dogs and piled-up garbage bags steaming in the wind ruin its glory. And, always, the very first snowfall of the season, before we’re sick and tired of the cold and the long, dark nights, is the very best. Today was that day, and I was in the park in the 7 o’clock hour this morning, getting my miles in, while the snow was still fresh and falling down in beautiful, wet sparkly drops. It was healing.

There’s so much to be less joyful about at the moment. I’ve been stressed for a variety of reasons – Omicron and the situation with schools, still a point of great unease after almost two full years, is one of them – but in this new year, I am trying to make a point of finding my joy. Of making it myself if I can’t. So far, I’m doing it! I’m finding some joy! But it’s only week one. I’ll check back in in a month or two…

How is the start of 2022 for you? What are you excited about, what’s stressing you out? Do you have any goals or resolutions? Are you watching any shows or reading any books you’d recommend? Drew and I just finished season two of “How To With Jon Wilson” and really enjoyed it. This weekend I want to watch Maggie Gyllenhaal’s directorial debut, “The Lost Daughter” on Netflix. I’m reading a memoir right now called “Punch Me Up to the Gods” which is pretty good – a story so different from my own experience and a perspective I haven’t considered enough, and I like those.

Have a great weekend, and here are a few links you might enjoy:

I’m happily married and enjoy the state of matrimony but know not everyone feels the same way or has found a partner who makes marriage not feel like a sacrifice not worth the things it asks you to give up. For those in that camp, this essay might especially hit home: What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up?

I never heard of this game, but now I have to play!

Pope Francis says choosing pets over kids is selfish, all you selfish fucks with your dogs and your freedom

Maybe related: A maternal truth: some women don’t love their children as society thinks they should

Ummm… Woman goes ‘psycho’ using tampon serial numbers to catch cheating boyfriend

I have to admit, I am fascinated by Gen Z. From Are Gen Z more pragmatic about love and sex? , I really liked this part (and see how it related to the first link I posted):

“They realise that they might have different partners at different times in their lives [who] may fulfil different needs,” says Julie Arbit, Global SVP of Insights at Vice Media Group. In her research, which looked at 500 respondents from the UK and US (of mostly Gen Z and millennials, with some Gen X included “for comparison”), she’s found just one in 10 members of Gen Z say they are “committed to being committed”.

Other researchers have arrived at similar conclusions. According to a study of Gen Z from India, for example, 66% of respondents accept that “not all relationships will be permanent”, with 70% rejecting a “limiting romantic relationship”.

Both researchers and members of Gen Z attribute this to a few factors.

First, this generation is entering adulthood during a particularly tenuous time, marked by the Covid-19 pandemic, ever-worsening climate change, and financial instability. Many feel they need to achieve stability for themselves before bringing another person into the picture. There’s also the increased access to relationship information online, empowering Gen Z with the language they need to articulate both who they are as well as what they want from a relationship that doesn’t compromise their identity and needs.

What is a platonic life partnership? These couples are breaking societal relationship norms

Maybe related: People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings

3 comments… add one
  • Rangerchic January 7, 2022, 3:54 pm

    I’m still waiting on a good first snow here in Colorado Springs. We’ve had some teasers, mostly dustings of snow to maybe an inch or so. We are sooo dry right now – moisture is really needed. Usually we get a decent snow in October, November and December but not this time.

    I have a hard time getting out for walks when it is frigid outside, mostly because it’s usually also windy (not just a little breezy but enough wind to make my face really cold). But I’m going to try more because I want to get it more steps and it’s also refreshing to get outside, even if just for a few minutes.

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    Miss MJ January 9, 2022, 7:45 pm

    Happy to be a selfish childless by choice fucker. So are my dogs.

    Also, I try not to take childbearing advice by unmarried, childless and celibate men who are devoted to an empire with a very recent history of sexual abuse of children.

    Also, also, sometimes men should just shut the fuck up.

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    • ktfran January 9, 2022, 8:47 pm

      Can I get an Amen?

      From an even more selfish childless by choice fucker because I don’t have cats, dog, fish, or even plants.

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