Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Weekend Open Thread and Links

What are you all up to this weekend? In a very unexpected twist, 11-year-old Jackson has developed a serious interest in sports over the past few months, and on Saturday we are going to another sports ball game (my fourth, and his fifth, in under two months). This one is a Yankee game, and we got tickets through his school’s PTO. I’m not a sports fan, but I’m always happy when my kids find things that excite them, and this seems to be fitting the bill for now. Maybe one day I’ll have a kid who thrills at the idea of visiting an art museum or watching foreign films in an arthouse movie theater. (But I won’t hold my breath for too long on that!) Sunday, of course, is Mother’s Day, which seems to have turned into an emotionally-fraught day on which everyone has to apologize to everyone else for all the pain that exists as a result of motherhood. And here people who are parenting young kids just want a day when someone else does the cooking. Whatever your status and whatever level of pain the day may bring up for you, I hope you find moments of joy. (And if you are a mom of young kids, I hope you get to sleep in a bit and enjoy a meal or two cooked by someone else.)

Happy weekend, and here are some links you might enjoy, including a wedding trend couples love and guests hate, and dumb things people have said to their partners that have caused them to reevaluate their whole relationships.

It’s wedding season, which means a return to “The Wedding Trend Couples Love and Guests Hate.” And just for balance, here’s my list of 25 Dos and Don’ts for Surving Wedding Season and Being a Great Guest

My Beautiful Mom: Growing up, my mother taught me the power of looking good. It wasn’t always pretty.

I think some of these must be fake, right? 31 Of The Dumbest Things People Said That Had Their Partners Reevaluating Their Whole Relationship

It’s what we keep saying, but here it is again for anyone who needs to hear it: The No-Contact Rule Will Help You Finally Move On From Your Ex
“High school students are having less sexual intercourse. That’s what the studies say. But that doesn’t mean they’re having less sex.

The language of young love and lust, and the actions behind it, are evolving. And the shift is not being adequately captured in national studies, experts say.” — Sex? Sexual intercourse? Neither? Teens weigh in on evolving definitions — and habits. This article makes me think about a zoom call I sat in on a few months ago that Jackson’s middle school set up for parents to understand teen culture around risky activities like sex and drugs. Let’s just say I may have needed drugs to cope with some of the things I heard.

Heather Armstrong, aka “Dooce,” pioneer of personal blogging and what would eventually become “influencer” culture, died by suicide this week. She was 47. Those of us who started writing on the web in the early days of personal blogging and watched her trajectory likely have a lot of complicated feelings. This essay – How the Internet made, and then broke, Heather Armstrong, the Queen of Mummy Bloggers – sums up some of those feelings really well. My heart goes out to Heather’s family – especially her two teenagers.

Finally, from beginning to end, all 15 pages of this forum thread showcases the problem with some men, the frustration women feel in the dating world, and why the DW community remains one of the best on the internet.

5 comments… add one
  • Taylor May 16, 2023, 8:55 pm

    This is a perfect description:
    “an emotionally-fraught day on which everyone has to apologize to everyone else for all the pain that exists as a result of motherhood. And here people who are parenting young kids just want a day when someone else does the cooking“

    I hope you had a good Mother’s Day Wendy!
    I was getting over bug number 410-ish of the year. It has to be better next year, right?!

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      Dear Wendy May 17, 2023, 5:58 am

      Ha – it does get a little easier each year. How old are your kiddos?

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      • Taylor May 17, 2023, 2:55 pm

        4.5 and 9. 9 is much easier! They were home for a couple years during Covid, so there’s been a ton of sickness this school year.
        How old are your kiddos now?

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        Dear Wendy May 18, 2023, 8:57 am

        Mine are 7 and 11 and everything has become much easier since the younger turned six (and also since both returned to full-time school post covid-closures). We had some illness in the fall through early winter but, knock on wood, have all been well for several months. But the allergies have been so bad! Its been constant sneezing and coughing and occasional nosebleeds for weeks now.

  • Taylor May 18, 2023, 5:17 pm

    That seems about right. My 2013 was 6 and a bit when Covid started, and it would’ve been a lot harder if she hadn’t had some solid school already. We were lucky to be able to ride things out, but it’s been so wonderful having them back in school. Hoping next year is easier on the immune systems. I read the other day that climate change is basically extending allergy season by month, and we really noticed it in our house. So happy for the sun though!

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