Thank God It’s Friday and I’m Not in the Hospital! After spending two of the last three Fridays stuck in a hospital, I’m thrilled to not only be at home this weekend, but also feeling much, much better. Wow, what a rough few weeks it was, but I think/hope/pray I’m over the worst of it now. Last weekend was very dramatic and after a horrible experience in the hospital where I was set to give birth in October — the only hospital where my OB delivers babies — I had to scramble all week to find a new doctor and new hospital — one where I might actually get a room with a bed when I’m in labor! — which is not an easy feat when you’re almost 30 weeks pregnant. But after fielding lots of recommendations (thanks to those of you who shared yours) and many hours on the phone, I think I’ve found someone good. Hopefully, things will be smooth sailing from here on out (knock on wood!), and when I hold my baby in my arms for the first time, all this drama will have been worth it (I’m sure it will).
Now! For this weekend’s open thread. Earlier this week, we had a letter from a woman who wasn’t happy when her boyfriend neglected to give her a gift for her birthday, which got me thinking about all the ways our significant — and maybe not-so-significant — others can disappoint or impress us on our birthdays and other special occasions. I don’t just mean gifts — although that can be a big part of it — but all the ways someone can express (or hold back) sentiment when it’s important to us. To that end, I’m wondering what stories you have of some of the best (and worst) ways a significant other — a long-time love or someone you’d just started dating — celebrated your birthday. Did you ever dump someone over bad birthday treatment? Or, maybe you were even dumped on your birthday? Did a great gift or gesture ever seal the deal for you? Let’s hear your stories!
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Cherry August 12, 2011, 5:06 pm
With my ex I would get money and told to go buy myself something- absolutely no effort despite my telling him how much even a home mad card would mean. Hence the ex…But now I have an awesome guy who does the whole nine years- he makes the card, the wrapping paper and the graphics are always something to do with one of our inside jokes (like a mosaic of Hall and Oates). The best thing as far as a gift from him was a rad poster he designed around a picture of me that was like a vintage horror movie poster- he even included my favorite bands for the ‘soundtrack’ and my favorite actor as the lead man. It was pretty rad, I will never ever forget it. His thoughtfulness on every occasion makes my heart warm and fuzzy 🙂
Cherry August 12, 2011, 5:07 pm
Wow, I need to read before posting I think I spelled at least 3 things wrong in that post!!! apologies….
Painted_lady August 12, 2011, 7:04 pm
Holy kittens, Cherry! Could he give Painted_dude some pointers? He gets all panicky on gift-giving occasions and usually spends entirely too much money trying to impress me, which is sweet but unnecessary and I usually feel a little guilty. I’ve been telling him to relax and just give me something that’s “me” for forever.
sohara August 12, 2011, 5:46 pm
I had an ex who had many fine qualities, but he was also cheap and not terribly thoughtful. For Christmas one year he gave me a cheap set of knitted gloves and hat, the kind you get at the grocery store for $4.98. I gave him a Walkman. On the other hand, he gave me an attractive (but, I’m sure) inexpensive TV stand, which I still use, decades later.
Turtledove August 12, 2011, 5:54 pm
I had a fiance break up with me on my birthday… by letter. In hindsight, that was the best birthday present I’ve ever been given although I was devastated at the time.
I also had an ex who I had been arguing with for some weeks. My birthday rolled around and he told me “we aren’t going to fight tonight.” He took me out to a nice dinner and gave me a lovely gift. We ultimately didn’t make it, but when I think of him, I still think of that night with fondness instead of all the fighting we were doing around it.
redessa August 12, 2011, 6:30 pm
There are two occasions that really stand out to me. One was mother’s day when I was pregnant with my first child. I was so excited about having my first baby. Here I was giving life to this new person, what could be more motherly? We didn’t have any money to speak of so I wasn’t really expecting anything more than a “mother to be” card – some sort of acknowledgement at least. But of course the day came and went with nothing special. When I finally said something to my husband, he just said “well, you’re not a mother yet” and clearly did not think it was any big deal. That’s when I learned to make my expectations very clear.
The second was my b-day a few years ago. I’m in my 30’s so it’s not llike I was expecting a big party or anything. But my hubby was literally the ONLY person who even remembered. My own parents didn’t even call to say happy b-day and I’m an only child! So, I was feeling neglected. But the Olympics were on and the only thing I really wanted was to watch my favorite Olympian compete that night. I was super excited about it. Well, DH insisted on taking me out to dinner. I complained that I was going to miss the event. He assured me we’d be back in time but set the DVR just in case. Oh yeah, we totally missed it. And when I tried to watch what he’d recorded, it turned out he’d set the timer rather than just turning it on and it stopped recording about 5 min before the event I wanted to see. So that b-day sucked rocks all the way around.
Yammy August 13, 2011, 12:23 pm
The same thing happened to me on the mother’s day before I had my son (my pre-mother’s day?)! I was super bummed out.
kali August 14, 2011, 2:45 pm
My ex told me I wasn’t *his* mother so he never got me anything for Mother’s Day. That always irked me. He also once gave me a bowling ball with my name engraved on it for Christmas because he wanted me to join (another!) bowling league with him and I detest bowling and, even more, I detested bowling with him!!
Then there was a string of crazy jewelry he got me that was gaudy or weird or simply not my taste. One year, I showed him specifically what I wanted, wrote out the name AND item number on a piece of paper and he still screwed it up. He didn’t like gifts lists, he wouldn’t buy gift cards or just give cash – he really wanted to believe he knew me and could pick something out on his own that I would like. Rarely happened. And he tried very hard.
No, that’s not what we broke up over but I’m sure it didn’t help because I don’t have a poker face and he always knew when I didn’t like something.
redessa August 12, 2011, 6:41 pm
Oh and there was the b-day I spent in labor just to come home empty handed. I was scheduled to be induced on my due date which just so happened to be my b-day! I’m thinking this will be so awesome to share a b-day with my baby! So it was my 5th baby in 7yrs. The midwife figured if they just waved the pitocin at me, my body would kick into gear LOL. Well, the baby had other ideas and refused to come. 10 hours of drug induced labor and not one single cm of cervical change. We finally all gave up and I went home to wait for labor to start on it’s own. Again, the midwives assured me I’d be right back that night with as much stuff as they’d given me. Um…. no. But labor did finally start, more than a week later!
MissDre August 12, 2011, 8:02 pm
5 babies in 7 years? Did I read that right? OMG girl when were you NOT pregnant? How on earth has your body survived all that?
redessa August 15, 2011, 1:09 pm
Yep you read that right! Yes, I was pregnant and/or nursing for years on end. It took it’s toll but I was also in my 20’s so I was young and healthy. My youngest is 7 and it’s great now! They’re generally very good friends which I love. The only thing I don’t like is the idea of the domino effect when they start to graduate and leave home. I’ll be an empty nester before I know what’s hit me (and I’ll only be in my mid-forties).
TaraMonster August 12, 2011, 6:10 pm
Lydia August 12, 2011, 6:13 pm
Aww, that’s a really sweet story! 🙂
TaraMonster August 12, 2011, 6:16 pm
I tried to fix punctuation on it and wound up deleting the whole thing, apparently. Oy. So anyway. This is what it said:
My current boyfriend is usually terrible at surprising me. Last year around my birthday he saw me drooling over a Swarovski crystal necklace on Etsy. He emailed the seller, but was logged into my account, so I got the email responding to it. I thought it was so sweet he was trying to surprise me, but told him not to waste his money on it unless the percentage of Swarovski crystals was substantial: it was pricey, I didn’t want him spending so much on something to begin with, especially if it wasn’t high quality. He wrote me back that I was right because it was only 30% Swarovski. So I forgot about it. Deception! It was 100% Swarovski and he had it waiting for me one day when I got home from work. It’s gorgeous, and I love it, but the fact he a. paid attention to what I’m looking at on Etsy and b. went to such lengths to surprise me is just evidence of how spectacular he is. Now that I’m thinking how great he is, I’m going to go cook him dinner before he gets home from work!
Painted_lady August 12, 2011, 7:30 pm
That’s really sweet! Hope he enjoys his dinner 🙂 It’s so nice to have someone who makes it easy to be nice to and to appreciate!
Painted_lady August 12, 2011, 7:25 pm
Painted_dude gave me a necklace for my birthday that he made himself – it’s actually completely gorgeous and I get compliments on it all the time. He keeps trying to outdo himself by getting me expensive stuff or making these grand gestures, but that necklace is by far my favorite. I keep telling him to relax and remember how much I loved the necklace and quit trying to top that. He’s really into anime, so I’m trying to figure out the style and make him a manga cover about him and me for our anniversary next month.
Best bad gift story ever: I have this really sweet aunt who’s a total know-it-all, and one year for Christmas she got me this really high-end pink clutch and made a big deal that it was designer and she thought of me because she knew how much I love the color pink. Only problem? I don’t like pink. At all. It’s my mom who likes pink and she got us confused – funny only because she’s such a know-it-all. I’m pragmatic enough and the purse was cute enough that I thought if I could exchange it for the same thing in another color I would actually use it a LOT, so I set out to find the vendor. I took it to Sak’s and Nordstrom with no luck, and then on my way into Macy’s I RAN INTO HER. I did some quick thinking and told her I was trying to hunt down the purse because my mom’s birthday is in January and she loves pink and threw a fit over it. She told me she’d gotten it at a boutique and she wasn’t sure if they had any more. Well, come to find out after more searching, the purse was a knockoff – zero complaints, just funny that she’d made such a massive issue of the label – and so, being resourceful, I trotted on over to the shoe repair store, grabbed some leather dye in a color I do like, and I still carry the bag to this day, and again, I get compliments whenever I do. I occasionally refer to it as the best bag my aunt never knew she gave me. It’s sweet she wanted to impress me, but I’m way happier with my dyed knockoff bag than I ever would have been with the real thing I’d have felt guilty dyeing.
MissDre August 12, 2011, 7:31 pm
My current boyfriend gives the best gifts ever. Small things, but thoughtful. This year, he remembered that I mentioned in passing that I really needed to buy some new books, cuz I was out of things to read and I was bored. So he bought me a gift card to Chapters and a single rose 🙂 And he brought over some good take out, and we watched The Wire. It was such a good birthday.
For Valentine’s Day, he had remembered when I mentioned in passing my favourite kind of specialty coffee, so he got me that! I was so surprised, because he absolutely hates coffee, and it was just one time months earlier that we passed it in the grocery store and I said “Oh hey I like that stuff!”
Before this guy, my first bf got me nothing for my bday at all. My second bf got me a pair of sneakers. He was trying to be thoughtful, because I love shoes, but I was disappointed. I really was hoping for something romantic. But, I pretended I was thrilled to death. And honestly, I was mostly just appreciative that, since we were long distance, he spent 5 hours on a bus to come see me.
My current boyfriend’s birthday just passed. He’s an audio engineer and producer, and right now he’s working on building his own studio. So I got him a Multi-purpose USB recording microphone. He was SO shocked and surprised, but I got the biggest kiss ever! I also cooked him jerk pork chops, fried plantains and a cheesecake.
Birthdays are really really special to me. Not just my own, but everybody’s. I always make a huge deal out of birthdays, whereas my boyfriend honestly couldn’t care less. But so far we’re making it work 🙂
Painted_lady August 12, 2011, 7:37 pm
Let me know if you ever need more gift ideas, MissDre. My roommate’s an audio engineer, and she used to turn me on to really great gear for my ex who does the same thing. And I LOVE your bday gift – simple, sweet, thoughtful. It’s so funny, the stereotype is that women ALL want big and expensive gifts and massive gestures, and yet the nicest gifts I’ve ever gotten were just things that make it evident that he was paying attention to who I really am.
MissDre August 12, 2011, 8:00 pm
Oh awesome! Yes I’d love some more gift ideas! He’s hoping to have his own studio set up sometime before Christmas. So it will probably be perfect timing for me to get him something else. I was also thinking of getting him UFC Tickets for Christmas… but I tried that last year and the prices just went up and up and up! And yes you’re right… I’d much rather get something small/inexpensive that shows he knows me 🙂 I’ve been really lucky so far!
Forgot to mention, my boyfriend is from Trinidad. Last Christmas he was there visiting his family, and he brought me home the most beautiful hand-carved jewelry box that says Trinidad surrounded by beautiful hand-carved flowers. I love it so much!
I think I’m going to do like TaraMonster and make my guy a really good meal this weekend 🙂
katie August 12, 2011, 8:44 pm
jerk, fried plantains, AND cheesecake?
oh now i’m hungry.
mcminnem August 12, 2011, 11:39 pm
Fried plantains are the very best. With some fried eggs and bacon in the morning? Mmmmhmmmmmmmm. Nom.
Sue August 12, 2011, 8:05 pm
My ex-boyfriend was an amazing gift giver. For my first birthday he built me a bike. He knew I liked vintage style bikes, so he bought a frame and painted it my favorite color. Then he did all the other things it takes to build a bike (whatever those are). We were walking to my favorite restaurant when he stopped and gave me a jewelry box. Inside was a key and I didn’t know what to think, but then he pointed to my new/old bike locked to a parking meter. He told me the reservations were 30 minutes earlier than what they actually were so I had time to take my bike around town for a bit. Even though things didn’t work out between us, the bike and I are still together.
katie August 12, 2011, 8:42 pm
my boyfriend gives me the best gifts… he is just always so good at remembering what i want and what i need and he gets those things. last christmas was our first living together, and he told me that we should spend our money on our families, and then whatever we had left over AFTER christmas we would just go out and go shopping together. we didn’t have a whole lot of money then. so, basically, no presents, in a nutshell. well i went along with it, i got him a couple little things but nothing of substance, and then like 3 days before christmas -BAM- a whole ton of gifts under the tree for me, from him. he said all that crap about going shopping after just so i wouldn’t get him anything. i was so so mad at him, but it was so sweet. i have a great job now, and so i plan on majorly spoiling him this year. he is super hard to buy for though, so i am going to have to start way early!! lol
RunsWithScissors August 12, 2011, 10:08 pm
My ex got me an iPod touch for my birthday a few years ago. I was SO excited, so I asked if I could use his laptop to load some songs on to it. He said sure, so I ran over, “woke” it up, and the screen he had open on the screen was his inbox…filled with conversations he was having with a girl on Match.com. It’s not like I went looking for it – it was just right there when the screen woke up.
Worst birthday ever.
parrt August 13, 2011, 3:40 pm
hahahaha
beans629 August 13, 2011, 4:04 pm
Well, I hope you kept the itouch anyway. 🙂
Lindsay August 12, 2011, 10:29 pm
I was dating a guy when I was studying abroad and before he left (which was a couple of weeks before I did and right before Christmas), he gave me several things: a couple of books he thought I HAD to read, a windup bunny toy (I’d seen it once when we were shopping for his new niece) and then he insisted on transferring certain songs from his computer to mine. His gifts weren’t elaborate or expensive, but it was sweet because he chose things that were important to him or that had specific meaning from one of our memories together.
Anna August 12, 2011, 10:33 pm
My boyfriend surprised me with a four wheeler as a Christmas gift. He took me out to the garage and “gave” me a remote controlled four wheeler, which I drove out of the garage…parked outside the garage was the real-life version of the RC four wheeler. I just about passed out. It’s a 2004 Yamaha Raptor 660 🙂
Chaotonic August 12, 2011, 11:00 pm
Okay so a little background on why the worst gift I ever recieved is so horrible, back in the early 90’s when I was very, very young (think about kindergarten age) the popular horror movie at the time was Child’s Play 3, with the talking Chucky doll. For some reason the drug addled neighbor who’s child I was BFFs with thought it was a kid friendly series and sat him and I down and let us watch all three Chucky movies at once. Scary as hell! But what topped it off is that I loved dolls, I had several that I routinely played with and whatnot as most young girls do. Well that night it just so happened that one of my talking dolls batteries began to die that night which meant it began randomly talking in the middle of the night.So after I huge freak out I developed a severe phobia of dolls.
Well around 12 or 13 my step father was tasked by my mother to show me some love for Christmas by picking out a gift for me. So come Christmas day I have a very lovely package waiting for me to open, as I eagerly tear into it (it wasn’t often my step-father gave anything other than a good beating) I realized with horror its a baby doll. Cue hysterics. I freaked the hell out as my step father laughed at my expense. I had nightmares for weeks.
Chaotonic August 12, 2011, 11:00 pm
A huge freak out^
Painted_lady August 12, 2011, 11:57 pm
That’s horrifying. Did he know about the doll phobia????
Britannia August 12, 2011, 11:57 pm
My current boyfriend has given me the best and worst gifts of my life.
For my 21st birthday, we drove to northern New Mexico to go camping. He caused a car accident that pulverized my spine… I was completely unconscious for 4 days, and had to relearn how to walk and all that jazz. So, I count that as the worst thing that could possibly happen for my birthday.
This past birthday, my 22nd, he REALLY made up for last year’s horribleness. We threw a huge party at a house with a pool, hot tub, beer pong, etc, with tons of people and a HUGE chocolate cake. Friends even drove in from out of town to come see me. On the actual day of my birthday, he deep cleaned our house while I sat on the couch and ate curried goat while watching Star Trek, which is all I wanted.
I guess I consider experiences to be more significant gifts than material objects.
Bethany August 13, 2011, 10:27 am
The best gift my fiance ever got me was for Christmas the first year we were dating. He made a photo book of our first year together and got me a gift certificate to go horseback riding- something I’d always wanted to do, but never got around to doing. I loved how thoughtful both gifts were! Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m going to go look at that book again 🙂
Red_Lady August 13, 2011, 1:06 pm
Haha, yesterday actually WAS my birthday! My fiance made a delicious dinner, then we went out to a lake about 30 minutes out of town to watch the meteor shower. My gift was a bottle of Kracken Rum. Kind of a low-key birthday, but a pretty awesome evening!
I don’t think I’ve had any really spectacular or horrible b-day gifts.
For our first Valentines day, my boyfriend drove all the way the way down (45 miles, in morning rush hour) to surprise me w/ flowers & a sack lunch when I got to work at 7:30. I really knew he was crazy about me then, because he HATES traffic, and HATES getting up early.
theattack August 15, 2011, 3:10 pm
We have the same birthday!
Amber August 13, 2011, 1:06 pm
The best anniversary gift I ever got from my hubby was an all over body rub. I loved it!
Amber August 13, 2011, 8:03 pm
My husband and I don’t really focus too much on birthdays and the past two christmases we’ve gotten large gifts for both of us. He’s really good at random gifts though. The last thing he brought home was some stationery that he thought looked like me. They’re always unexpected so when he does bring them home it catches me off guard and reminds me just how sweet he is.
AliceInDairyland August 13, 2011, 8:38 pm
My boyfriend is pretty wonderful at giving gifts. This Christmas we had only been dating for about 2 months so it was a bit awkward figuring out how much to spend/what to get. He ended up doing just perfectly by taking me out to dinner and making me a heart out of sticks and dried flowers for me to hang on my wall. It honestly looked so nice, and perfect, and was so incredibly sweet I almost died.
For my birthday (21st!) he took me out to a really fancy cocktail bar (which are super rare in my neck of the woods) and so I got to drink a $9 cocktail for my first legal drink. Then he gave me about 4 tech-outdoorsy-athletic shirts because that is what he wears and I kept stealing his clothes because they felt nicer than mine. He also carved me a heart that fits perfectly in the palm of my hand out of some gorgeous cedar. It smells amazing, and has really pretty grain on it. He’s kind of amazing.
What do I get him? A deep fryer. Ahhhh, tis love at its finest.
savannah August 14, 2011, 12:19 pm
Worst Birthday Ever: 3 years ago I had a boyfriend break up with me on my birthday…at a destination wedding…where I was the maid of honor. And yes we did have to fly back sitting next to each other.
Painted_lady August 14, 2011, 1:02 pm
Obviously figuring out the consequences of actions weren’t his strong suit.
anonymous August 14, 2011, 4:46 pm
At some point, you’ll look back on it and at least smile at his idiocy — I mean, he should have waited at least until the flight back was over!
Kerrycontrary August 14, 2011, 5:17 pm
Worst gift: I was studying abroad in france for the summer and hadn’t seen my boyfriend for 3 months. I was abroad for my birthday, where he didn’t even send me a card, but that wasn’t a huge deal. When I got back I had to drive 2 hours to see him and he didn’t even have a gift for me because he “couldn’t think of what to get me” even though we hadn’t seen each other for three months! The next week we were going on vacation with my family and he got me flowers. That would sit at my parents house and rot while we were on vacation. He just wasn’t very thoughtful.
Best gift: My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and my current boyfriend and I are very clear on what we want for holidays/birthdays. It just guarantees that we get what we want. My boyfriend got me a kindle and I’ve been using it nonstop!! I should also note that I’m a librarian so I AM a bookworm by nature…Besides all that he took me out for drinks at my favorite lounge/bar, and we went for brunch the next day.
TV_Addict August 14, 2011, 7:57 pm
The best gift I have ever received was my birthday last year.. My boyfriend surprised me with a leather jacket that I had said I loved in a store months previous.. He took the time to go back to the store and ask the lady working there what size would fit me and everything. It was so nice to have something so thoughtful and I was so surprised!
The worst gift I think I’ve ever been given was from one of my friends for my birthday quite a long time ago.. she bought me 2 shirts and bought them to her tastes and size (she is about 2 sizes smaller than me) I ended up giving them to my sister shortly after since my sister is much smaller than me also.. I guess I should have been flattered she thought I was that small.. lol
lilolah August 14, 2011, 9:25 pm
a friend of mine once received a zit popping kit from his girlfriend for Christmas. He was horrified.
GatorGirl August 14, 2011, 9:51 pm
Worst Birthday- On my 21st birthday, I made my first legal purchase…which my now ex BF proceeded to consume and get drunk. While I had zero fun.
Best Birthday- Two years ago for my birthday, my BF and I agreed he would get me a DeSean Jackson jersey. While we were getting ready to go out to dinner, he surprised me with an extra present-a gorgeous aquamarine and diamond ring!! I was totally caught off guard and cried like a baby.
My birthday is Tuesday, and I think I’m getting a Wii!! Yay!!
RedGrandma August 14, 2011, 10:31 pm
Worst gift ever, from my normally generous husband — a potted chrysanthemum and not one but TWO diet books.
Bethany August 15, 2011, 9:20 am
Ha! I would have ripped those diet books up and served them to him for dinner!
BroGoddess August 14, 2011, 11:12 pm
Eagles fan here – I want a DeSean Jackson jersey! Unfortunately I’m currently single so it’ll have to wait. what an awesome guy though!
Elizabeth August 15, 2011, 12:25 am
Best birthday ever – age 27. I woke up to a proposal and 14 years later he is still by my side.
theattack August 15, 2011, 2:56 pm
This was posted on my birthday actually, but I just now saw it. Weeeird.
I didn’t break up with my ex boyfriend because of gift-giving, but our gift giving habits were a huge indicator of how different we were, in ways that we wouldn’t be able to overcome. I don’t have a lot of money, so my gifts to him for birthdays, Christmas, and Valentine’s day would be small, but I put a lot of thought into them. I would usually bake him something amazing to go along with it. His gift-giving philosophy was more of a competition. He got me random stuff that wasn’t very meaningful (which is fine), but then he would complain about how little I got him and basically suggest I should get him another additional gift. I should also mention that he was spending his parents’ money on these gifts to me, which was one factor involved in how he was a spoiled 23 year old who didn’t know the value of money or what it meant to not be able to afford something.
Our first Valentine’s Day together I picked out this clock that I thought he would like and ordered it online. He wanted to send it back and get a more expensive one. Our second Valentine’s Day together I made him dinner and dessert and got him a video game or something (which was a pretty large expense for me). He didn’t give me so much as a homemade card and said “Oh, so I guess I have to get you something now.”
My current boyfriend and I exchange relatively small but meaningful gifts with each other. In fact, he just gave me a really awesome and modest birthday gift this weekend. Meaningful and modest are what we both agree on for gifts. The most important thing is having a similar approach to it, whether it’s something extravagant or something thoughtful.
theattack August 15, 2011, 2:59 pm
Oh, I should also mention that one year he gave me a Christmas gift he had once bought for his ex girlfriend before me but never gave to her. It was something I really wasn’t interested in, AND I already had it. But he thought it was something special that he gave it to me, and I was just kind of disgusted that he didn’t fess up to it.
dobby August 15, 2011, 4:12 pm
Worst Christmas Gift Ever: My ex-husband took my gift certificate to a local mall (which I had received from a friend), went to the kitchen supply store, and bought me a pressure cooker so I could cook him more stews and pot roasts…
Nectarine August 16, 2011, 8:30 am
High school boyfriend gave me my ticket stub from the movie we saw on our first date. (It’s probably worth mentioning that that on our first date, I had paid for my own ticket.)
soozeecute August 17, 2011, 8:21 am
My college boyfriend used to tell me how much he spent on birthday presents and on valentine’s day flowers, which is just tacky. Also, he would refuse to go to certain fundraisers with me because he would reason his way out of it (“I’m not going to drink $50 worth of drinks at the open bar, so why would I pay $50 to go to the same bar I go to with my friends all the time?” COMPLETELY missed the point of how a fundraiser works).
Then, the guy I was dating at the end of law school simply flat out did not acknowledge my graduation. He went to a dinner that my dad paid for the day before the ceremony, then a dinner my brother paid for the day of the ceremony, but didn’t even give me a card or anything.